20 CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP- 5/20 GIFTS

In a healthy significant relationship I realize that the other party is a gift.

I have different categories of significant relationships in my life, including the subtypes of spouse, parent and friend. I live in a free world, as do the people that I have relationships with.   There is no obligation on either me or any of my relationships to maintain a connection which each other.  It is always voluntary.

It is not uncommon for me to hear from others that they have to remain connected to someone that they would rather not be connected to.  Sometimes the reason is financial.  Sometimes the reason is obligation.  Sometimes the reason is, “For the kids.” Sometimes the reason is…  Although these reasons can be valid, they should not be the motivation that should keep anyone in an unwanted relationship.

I realize that we are given little time on this earth, and that much of that time is already allocated to required activities, like work.  I understand that I determine how I spend my unallocated time, and that I determine who I spend that time with.  

Dear reader, you may be thinking that this is not the case for you.  You may be thinking that you are stuck or trapped in a relationship.  I would like to challenge that false belief.  It may be easier to stay in a bad relationship, but the easy path is not always the best path.

With the above backdrop I choose my relationships.  With the above backdrop I sever connections.  With the above backdrop I understand that those people that I maintain a connection with are gifts who are given to me.  Likewise, I understand that I am a gift to the other person.

Gifts are given freely.  Gifts are carefully chosen.  Gifts are given as an expression of love.  There is no greater gift than the gift of oneself.  

I choose to celebrate the relationships in my life in the sameway as I would celebrate a cherished gift, with awe and appreciation. I want my relationships to view me in the same way. How often do I see the opposite.  Petty resentments, scorecards of who is giving more, laundry lists of insignificant past hurts… and so it goes.

I often see complacency of connection.  The benefits of a connection becoming expected and unappreciated.  The benefits are assumed as rights, no longer valued for what they truly are.

I will assess my connections with others, and move closer towards my healthy connections. I will assess my connections with others, and explore exit strategies for my unhealthy ones.

Today I choose to celebrate and to be grateful for the gifts of the relationships in my life.  Today I will allow myself to view myself as a gift to those who choose to have a connection with me.