I always hated my basement. It was dark, damp, and dank, but I saw something in it that I wanted. There, on a dusty shelf was my prize. It was larger than a breadbox, but roughly the same shape. Made of wood, it had seen better days and its vernier finish was checked from past encounters with the sun. A large square speaker grill resided on its left side, the cloth cover stained. On the right was a rectangle dial, with two bands marked “Broadcast,” and “Shortwave.” Below the dial was a series of push buttons, and below the butters were four brown Bakelite knobs labeled volume, tone, band, and tuning. I was young, and it was heavy. I used my body as a brace as I pulled it off the shelf and onto the floor. It’s power cord wasn’t plastic, it was a braided cloth, and it looked broken and worn. I struggled with the radio’s bulk as I slowly dragged it to one of the few electric outlets that our basement possessed. My heart was racing as I plugged it in and turned on the power switch. In moments I was met with a buzzing sound, and the smell of hot dust and hot metal. I didn’t see smoke, so I pressed on. I turned up the volume control, which crackled with the sound a corroded potentiometer. I turned the dial knob, but its pointer didn’t move. The radio was broken. Yet, I was filled with the confidence of a grade schooler who did ‘t know better. I convinced myself that I could fix it. I could bring it back to life.
I carried it to my father’s workbench and placed it on the bench’s thick birch surface. My dad rarely used the space, and I was certain that I could work on my masterpiece without interruption. The back of the radio was protected by a thick piece of pressed cardboard, which was secured by several screws. I removed them and carefully pried the back off. The radio’s chassis was filled with giant components. Vacuum tubes were common in the early 1960s, but these radio tubes were huge. I turned the radio back on and observed each of its tubes’ filaments. They all were glowing. Fantastic! I thought.
After a lot of maneuvering I was able is dislodge the chassis from its cabinet. It had an odd, mildewy smell. The radio was from the 1930s, it could have been sitting the the basement waiting for me for the last 20 years. I made a quick assessment of the damage. The string that moved the tuning dial had disintegrated, and some sort of a pressure piece used to disengaged the buttons had rotted. The power cord looked like it was ready to short, and there was so much dust in the cabinet that the air gap tuning capacitor was malfunctioning. The cabinet’s finish was in terrible shape, and the cloth speakers grill was stained and rotting. I thought to myself, “I’ll find a way.” But, I had very little money, and no skill set. I made a list of what was broken and searched the house for makeshift repair pieces.
I found some dental floss that could replace the tuning cord mechanism, but I wasn’t sure how the prior cord had be wound. A rubber cork could be cut and shaped to approximate the disintegrated pressure piece, an extension cord could be used to replace the power cord, an old woven placemat could serve as a new speaker grill. I also found some sort of solvent that I thought could clean the tuning capacitor and the volume potentiometer, and some old stain that might help refinish the cabinet. That weekend I went to Rex’s Hardware store on 55th street with my allowance money and scored a small can of paint and varnish remover. I was ready to do battle.
The project started with many attempts to restring the tuning dial with dental floss. By some great luck, I figured it out. The pressure “thing” was next, then the power cord, and so on. I saved the cabinet refinishing for the last. I painted on varnish remover and scrapped it off with an old putty knife. I lightly sanded the big box and then carefully applied the stain. I’m guessing that the stain was old as it had an orange cast to it. However, I still felt that the radio looked significantly better than before. Lastly, I cut down the placemat and stapled it in place of the old speaker grill. After a quick reassembly, I was ready to test my project.
I plugged in the old radio and clicked the on switch. After a few seconds it started to hum. I set the band selector to “Broadcast,” and slowly turned the dial. WIND boomed in, and I was shocked how good the radio’s 6 inch speaker sounded. I tuned past WIND and found WMAQ, then WGN, then WBBM. The radio worked!
Later that night I thought I would try the band labeled “Shortwave” as it had a lot of exotic cities listed above the frequency indicator. Once again I started on the extreme left of the band and slowly tuned to the right. I can’t remember for sure what the first station that I heard was, but I believe that it was “Radio RSA, The Voice of South Africa.” Holy cow, it was in English! On that first night I heard many other stations broadcasting in English. The BBC, Radio Moscow, Radio Havana Cuba, The Voice of America, and HCJB from Quito Ecuador. I was listening to radio stations from thousands of miles away. I was connected to the world unfiltered. I felt like I just tapped into the most unbelievable resource.
Over time my hobby expanded and I started to build my own radios. I think the discovery of that radio changed my life, as I was able to get the perspective of dozens of other viewpoints from dozens of other nations.
This was the Cold War era, and I lived in constant fear that the Russians were going to attack the US and destroy our cities with nuclear bombs. One night I was listening to Joe Adamov on Radio Moscow. He said, “Americans are always saying that the Russians are going to nuke them, but the only country to every use a nuclear weapon on another country was the US.” I jolted myself back in my seat with the realization that he was right. There was more than one way to look at a situation. This eye opener impacted me then, and it still impacts me today. Radio educated me to think in broader terms, to question and not to assume. Yes, radio changed my life.
2020
I was driving back from Wyoming with plans to visit some of the National Parks in South Dakota. My cell connection was too poor to stream anything, and I was getting bored listening to music on the FM band. I switch over to AM and did a quick station scan; 10 stations total. I restarted at the beginning of the dial and tuned into each, sampling their content. There was the usual fare, sports, some music, and talk. Six out the the 10 stations were playing the same syndicated show, a popular conservative radio host. I had not listened to this host in decades and decided to explore his content. He talked in a fast, urgent, somewhat high pitched tone. A tone that immediately agitated me. He didn’t have much content, but he kept warning that if the Democrats won the next election they would destroy the country. He used a lot of slurs when talking about them giving each Democrat a derogatory nickname. He was especially concerned about Joe Biden who he condemned at one moment as being weak and senile and at another moment maniacal, and power hungry. I listened for about 30 minutes before I had to turn the radio off. I was feeling as if I was going to have a panic attack. When I returned home I tuned into some of the conservative programs on Chicago radio stations. Although the hosts were different, the presentations were the same. I heard many themes that sounded ridiculous when the president voiced them, and here they were being repeated. The hosts didn’t talk about COVID, they talked about the China virus. They stated emphatically that Biden wanted to defund the police, and destroy the suburbs. Two statements that are outright lies. They suggested that we were in danger of losing our freedom and that the Democrats wanted us all to become socialists. They seemed to draw the conclusion that socialism was the the same thing as Communism. Each time that I listened I found myself become agitated.
I’m neither a Democrats nor a Republican. I think both parties are corrupt. However, I am a person that believes in science, and that all races were created equal. I don’t feel that I have the right to determine what other consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms, and I feel that as an advanced society we should have universal healthcare.
I’m a Christian who believes that the message of the New Testament is one of love, acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, and inclusion. I don’t base my faith on the crude analysis of a single verse.
I’m more comfortable with the commentators of CNN and MSNBC rather than Fox News. However, I think that all of these channels are all equally destructive. Trump gives progressive stations an endless stream of discussion points, so you hear less outright lies. However, you do hear a biased opinion, and one that is intended (in my opinion) to manipulate the audience. The commentators of all of these channels present as newscasters instead of entertainers, but they are not balanced in their presentations and so the term entertainer seems more appropriate. There is an endless stream of “breaking news” stories that don’t seem particularly “breaking.” There are endless rehashes that can have up to 6 “experts” all agreeing with the host. The same sound bite is often repeated over and over again. The next commentator in the lineup does the same thing, but with their slightly different twist. If you are listening to a conservative channel you are told that the Democrats are going to destroy the country, and if you are listening on a progressive channel the Republicans will do the same. There is no balance, just a urgency that keeps you watching as the same stories are repeated over and over. When I view any of these channels I find myself becoming more agitated and upset. I don’t feel more informed, as most of the real information could be easily told in a 5 minute newscast. I feel mad and outraged, and it is hard to disengage.
In 1949 the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) introduced the Fairness Doctrine which required broadcasters to present controversial issues to the public in an honest, equitable, and balanced way. This required media outlets to present both sides of an issue. In 1985 FCC Chairman Mark Fowler, who was an attorney who served on Ronald Reagan’s campaign staff, released a report that stated that the Fairness Doctrine violated free speech, and in 1987 the FCC abolished the doctrine by a 4 to 0 vote. The removal of the Fairness Doctrine allowed stations to present their own viewpoints without having to present balanced news. The establishment of cable channels solely devoted to news also encouraged biased news reporting, as well as the endless parade of editorial comments masquerading as news. These networks were profit centers, and made their money with ad revenue. The longer someone watched a station the bigger their profits. Such a scenario is a recipe for drama, and an overdriven, “If it bleeds it leads” focus.
The secret to gaining a larger audience is getting them to emotionally invest in both the host and story. To do this most stories have to be padded with dramatic “opinions” from the commentator and “experts” who build on the anxiety of the viewer. The viewer is placed in a position where they are afraid to turn to a different channel, as they may miss some “breaking news.” As they become ever more agitated they become evermore outraged. The viewer “shares the tragedy” with the host which leads to trust in the host. This level of engagement can lead to a habitual pattern of watching; perfect for the network. The viewer is both disempowered and empowered at the same time. Their anger can be intoxicating in its own right. The exploitation of the news in such a way constitutes outrage porn, and the traumatic repetition of biased stores can lead to a pattern of behavior where the viewer is anxious, angry, and afraid much of the time. These same tactics can be seen in other media areas, such as YouTube channels. Since YouTube selects content based on previous views it is easy to exclusively see opinions that echo and amplify a particular biased belief.
I can think of no real benefit from watching a steady stream of cable news channels or biased YouTube channels. At the best, such viewing is upsetting to the individual. However, I believe that it also has an impact on the overall partisanship of our country. If all you see are conservative (or conversely, progressive) commentators your view of anyone who has an opposing opinion will suffer. Many of the commentators are “passionate” in their feelings which further impacts how people react to differing opinions. We no longer disagree, we attack, just like the attacks that we see on the “news.” The end result is a fractured population that can be easily manipulated by others, including politicians. When this happens democracy itself is at risk.
Are you watching/listening to news/talk channels for hours every day? Do you find yourself becoming overly emotionally invested in news events? Do you become angry if someone has a different political opinion than yours? Does your news outlet always favor one political party over the other? Do you find that you are afraid, angry, or upset after watching the news? If you answer “yes” to several of these questions you may be suffering of Outrage Porn Addiction (my term). So, how do you free yourself from this addiction?
Since we no longer have checks and balances due to the repeal of the Fairness Doctrine you need to protect yourself by adding your own checks and balances. I would limit cable news consumption to no more than one hour a day, preferably split into two segments. Personally, I go one step further and use my smart speaker to keep me abreast of what is happening. I program it to play NPR news (progressive), USA Today news, and Fox News (conservative) in the morning when I get up. These actual newscasts are only a few minutes long and tend to be more balanced. I also read selected news stories from various outlets while I’m having my breakfast. That constitutes my daily dose of news. The best way to avoid Outrage Porn Addiction is to remove the offending agent. If the above doesn’t work you can try neutral news sources like the BBC or Radio Canada. Both are available by internet streams. They always have some US news included.
Outrage Porn Addiction is like any other addiction. It initially feels good, and then it makes you progressively sicker. Don’t let yourself be manipulated by others. Get a balanced perspective, and get on with your life.
Radio stations used to present a more balanced picture of controversial events.
For whatever reason, people like to label me. They take one of my characteristics, and they build an entire opinion of who I am and what motivates me. Perhaps this is because we live in a world of sound bites, where everything can be explained in two sentences or less.
Just like everyone, I am a complex individual and not a one-dimensional cartoon caricature. Two of my traits that seem to confuse many are my desire for both complexity and simplicity. On the surface, such characteristics are diametrically opposed, but they are entirely compatible and ego-syntonic to me.
I have many things in common with my siblings. Still, one characteristic above all others is that we are obsessive people. Our obsessiveness exhibits itself differently, and I’m not about to take my siblings’ personal inventories. However, my obsessive personality has its roots in my genetic makeup.
I am an obsessive problem solver. I think of various scenarios, plan solutions, and then test out those solutions for potential flaws. Believe it or not, that is an enjoyable activity. My family may make fun of me for having several first aid kits or a box of spare batteries. Still, they come to me when they cut their fingers or when their battery-operated watches stop.
This problem-solving style leads to another trait, I am a comparer. I get pleasure in understanding how similar tasks are accomplished in different ways. When I was active in psychiatry, I was fascinated by how very different psychotherapies could help patients. However, this comparing habit existed long before I had the initials M.D. behind my name.
When I was 5 years old, I collected old pencils and compared them based on their characteristics. Which one had the smoothest lead? Did the color of the eraser impact its utility? Did more costly pencils work better? (BTW, the answers to these questions are: Dixon Ticonderoga, No, and Yes). I had a pencil collection for years, and as it expanded, so did my knowledge of this obscure topic.
In grade school, I started to collect radios, which led to listening to short-wave radios, branched off to building radios, and eventually prompted me to get an Advanced Amateur Radio license.
I have made in-depth comparisons on items ranging from bread makers to guitars. My current collection is cameras. I am fascinated by how various manufacturers approach the same fundamental issues in very different ways. I love the creative process of taking a good picture. Still, I equally enjoy learning more about camera controls, flashes, and lenses. You may read all of the above and think, “That Dr. Mike is a pretty weird guy.” I would say that you are probably right…and so what!
Being a comparer means that I have a lot of stuff, and I like having many things… but I also crave simplicity. It is a joy for me to travel in Violet, my little campervan, and live well with only those things that fit in her tiny space. But, I’m a problem solver. “What if I don’t have the right electrical adapter?” “What if my car battery goes dead in the middle of nowhere?” “How can I boost my cell phone reception?” Solutions often mean more stuff, and more stuff makes van life difficult due to space constraints. Yet, on every trip, it does seem like I use an unlikely item or two that I had previously packed away, “just in case.”
Before most trips, I will go through Violet’s boxes and bins and remove things that appear to have little use. On my last trip, I took out 4 microwavable cereal bowls, an extra towel, and a little-used cooking pot. I left other potential candidates, like a potato peeler and an extra flashlight. Still, they could go on the chopping block on my next purge.
Before the same trip, I added some items that I thought could be useful. Why? Why not! Oh, and there is often a trip’s bonus item. A bonus item is something that I carry, although it is doubtful that I will need it. However, it turns out that I do need it, and I’m glad that I brought it. On my trip to Glacier last summer, the bonus item was a little tool kit that I kept in the camper. I dropped something behind Violet’s kitchen and had to unbolt the unit to retrieve it. This year my bonus item was my Garmin GPS.
Like many of you, I use Google and Apple Maps for direction advice. I used to be good at reading paper maps, but my smartphone has sucked that ability. I love these programs because they are updated continuously. However, they have one fatal flaw, they require an internet connection to do their thing. Both programs will retain necessary turn-by-turn information once you set your route. Still, they can’t create a new route or modify a route if you are away from a cell tower. Unfortunately, I often camp in places where I don’t have a connection to the outside world. When I was initially stocking Violet, I purchased a Garmin GPS, “just in case,” and this was the first year that I needed it to route the legs of my trip. It worked great, and I was glad to have it.
So, what new items I brought on this trip?
Crocks
When I camp, I only bring two pairs of shoes, hikers and shower shoes. The later are those very cheap ones that have a painful peg that goes between your toes. My mother put the fear of God in me when she told me about the dangers of getting athlete’s foot in public showers. Despite knowing that the actual risk is low, I feel obligated to bring a pair along. However, this year I also brought along a pair of Crocks, and they were a fantastic addition. It was a pleasure to drive long distances wearing them, and if I had to leave the camper in the middle of the night, I didn’t have to lace-up my hikers. I will definitely bring them on my next camping trip.
My old Sony AM/FM portable radio
During the first two years of owning Violet, I packed a sizable multi-band radio. It was big and bulky and had a habit of flying off its perch when I made an aggressive turn. I have been pelted more than once by D batteries as they flew out of the radio’s innards to become instant missiles. Eventually, I got sick being beaten up by batteries, and I purged the Grundig from my camper. This trip, I packed an old analog AM/FM portable radio. Its manual mechanics are very energy efficient, and it runs forever on a few batteries. It stays in place when I drive.
The radio turned out to be a great addition, as I didn’t have a reliable cellular connection during most of my trip. Through it, I was able to get the weather and news, plus entertainment. You may be asking, “Why not just use the van’s radio?” This could be done in a pinch, but I don’t like doing things that can potentially drain the vehicle’s battery. Besides, I could take the Sony out of the van and listen in my folding camp chair’s comfort. The radio is a keeper.
Solar Generator/folding solar panels
I have an elaborate onboard solar set-up in Violet, making it unnecessary to bring along any additional battery banks. However, I wanted to play around with a little one that I had at home. The unit has 300 watts of power and various connections, allowing it to power 12 volt, USB, and AC devices. I also brought along a folding solar panel to see if it would be feasible to charge the little guy in the field.
I did enjoy having the battery pack, and I used it every day to charge my phone and watch. I also used it to power my Wilson (WeBoost) cell phone booster to send out text messages to my family. Best of all, I was able to quickly recharge it using the folding solar panel. This set up could be a reasonably priced solution for at-home preparedness. With it, you could recharge your phones, computers, and even power a TV. I had a lot of fun playing around with it on my camping adventure; it is not a must-pack for me.
iPad and Kindle
I brought both. I used the Kindle but never got around to using the iPad. However, I’ll likely bring them on my next trip as they take up little space. I have a keyboard for my iPad, allowing me to write if I am so moved. iPads are more energy-efficient than laptops making them good travel companions.
Induction cooktop
I’m in the process of having Violet reclassified as an RV. This will mean lower insurance and tag costs. Illinois has many requirements to change a commercial vehicle to an RV. One of them is that the vehicle has to have an onboard cooking system.
My friend, Emma Cabusao (Dr. Emma) gave me an induction burner as a present several years ago. My other friend, Tom, used his building skills to mount it to Violet’s kitchen counter, and I connected it to my solar power system.
I’m pleased with the butane stove that I have used for several years. So I didn’t think that I would need the induction burner for cooking; I just needed to show the state’s inspector that I had an onboard cooking system. However, on my recent camping adventure, I tried it out and loved it. An induction burner uses a magnetic field to cook, and the device stays cool to the touch. Also, there is no open flame to worry about. My Goal Zero solar generator efficiently handled the hot plate’s energy requirements. Since I generate all of the van’s electricity from solar, using the burner meant that I was cooking for free! I won’t get rid of my butane stove, as I like to cook greasy, splattery stuff outside of the van. However, for everything else, I’m all in on this gadget.
Some stuff goes out of the van, some stuff goes in. There are things that I will probably never use (like the potato peeler) and things that I wind up using even when I think I won’t (like the Garmin GPS).
In today’s story, I’m trying to make a couple of different points. The first one is to not judge or categorize someone else based on a single observation or characteristic. We are all complex creatures. I would urge you to be tolerant of people who may not think exactly as you do. You could find that you have more in common with them than on first blush. As for me, my planning and preparing style may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it doesn’t hurt anyone, so don’t pass judgment.
The second point is that in many cases, the only way to determine if something is right for you is to try it out. Now, I’m not saying that you should go around doing dangerous or illegal stuff. However, most people regret what they didn’t do in their life more than what they did do.
Lastly, Violet, the campervan, shows me how little I need to be happy. When I’m at home, there always seems to be some item that catches my eye. Sometimes it is a “super deal” on WOOT or a “recommendation” from Amazon. I also get the urge to buy something after watching influencers on YouTube. I do enjoy these things, but in the majority of cases, I don’t need them. My tiny campervan has everything that I need to thrive. I can cook meals, listen to the news, read a book, take a bath, go to bed, and do all of those things that I would do in daily life. But I’m not doing them in a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom house… I’m doing it in a tiny cargo van. Less can sometimes be more. Life is complicated (or is it simple?).
Update: After many months of modifying Violet to comply with Illinois’ rules to reclassify her as an RV (as opposed to being a commercial van), I had her inspected by the Illinois Secretary of State police. A friendly officer came out and asked questions, toured the van, and took a ton of photos. I’m thrilled to report that Violet passed her test and will be reclassified as an RV once I get her new paperwork. Whew!
Using an induction burner turned out to be a great idea!My old Sony portable radio kept me in touch with the world.I had a lot of fun using this little 300-watt solar generator. I always enjoy playing around with a new gadget.My Garmin GPS really helped me when I couldn’t use Google Maps.
I owned my first personal computer in 1983. In those days, the Internet was unknown to ordinary folks like me, but I did use online services. I remember belonging to Compuserve, and then AOL (America-On-Line). These portals were terrific, although they were primitive and slow compared to today’s Internet. I connected to them using a dial-up 56K modem, which tied up both my landline and my patience. Despite their limitations, they had useful features like email, local weather forecasts, news, and forums. Forums were “bulletin boards” on topics that ranged from theoretical physics to teaspoon collecting. The only audio was bleeps and beeps, except for the iconic (and pre-recorded) “You’ve got mail!” when I logged into AOL email.
Most services were text-based, as even a good dial-up connection was glacially slow. To put their data rate into perspective, I did a speed test on my current home internet connection, which resulted in a 170 Mbps download speed. My existing internet connection is approximately 3000 faster than my former dial-up modem.
In the early 1990s, my future wife, Julie, started her Ph. D. program in Clinical Psychology. By that time, I was a self-proclaimed expert in MS-DOS (the precursor to Windows), and so she asked for my help to configure and buy her first computer. I was excited to score her one with a “massive” 40 MB hard drive. My current home computer system has 14 TB of storage capacity, 350,000 times more storage than Julie’s first computer!
I loaded a DOS version of WordPerfect onto her computer. She used that text-based word processor to write all of her papers, including her Master’s thesis and her Ph. D. dissertation. Using a DOS-based word processor could lead to potential problems. Late one night Julie called me in a panic as she accidentally alphabetized every word in a 20-page school paper. That was the evening that I taught her the power of the “undo” key.
Julie had to log into the university’s mainframe computer for some of her assignments. She did this using an amazing inter-university network called the Internet. The Web had not yet been developed, and a text-based protocol called Gopher was used instead. I recall sitting next to her as we explored this fantastic resource. By typing text commands, we could leave the U of I system and “travel” to other universities. We felt like 007 when we “broke into” Harvard’s weekly dining hall menu. That simple exploration seemed beyond tremendous at that time.
During those years, I was enamored with computing. I started to build powerful computers for specific purposes, like photo editing. There were no computer building manuals, and I had to rely on logic to see me through my construction projects. For me, computers were creativity tools that I could use to edit photos and videos, record music, and do desktop publishing.
By the mid-1990s, the U of I developed a program called Mosaic, which eventually became the web browser Netscape. With Netscape, the Internet, as we know it, was born. Web browsers were graphical and allowed people to use their computers visually. The web browser introduced the hyperlink to the Internet, a feature used every time someone logs onto the Web Web browsers made the Internet accessible to everyone. However, the Internet of those days was very different from what we use today. YouTube and Facebook didn’t exist, and Amazon was just a third-rate online bookseller.
I have had a cell-phone since the mid-1980s and got my first smartphone in the early 2000s, a Handspring Treo. Other phones followed, including a Windows CE phone that was so terrible that I called it my “dumb phone.” These primitive phones were slow, clunky, and very limited in their abilities. However, I thought that they were magical as they were so much more powerful than the flip phones that I had been using.
Time went on, and I eventually took a bite of the Apple and bought a Mac and iPhone gaining their additional capabilities. By then, I saw these electronics as things. They had transitioned from the miracle category to the tool category, where they kept company with other former stars, like my CD player and microwave oven.
My usage of them also changed, and more and more of my time was spent on the Internet. When I needed an answer, I Googled. When I wanted to watch a movie, I clicked on Netflix, and when I needed to reminisce, I streamed songs from the 70s on Spotify. My banking was done online, as were most of my correspondences. YouTube became my personal DIY tutor, Amazon, my shopping mall, and the NPR radio stream functioned as my window to the world.
These changes didn’t carry the excitement of those early days when I peeked into a dining hall menu plan; they just happened. Every day I would interact with the Internet dozens of times, and I was not even thinking about it.
On trips, I would travel with my iPhone and iPad. Sometimes I would bring a hotspot to a different cellular network just in case my Tmobile connection failed. I could research destinations, reserve hotels and campsites, and check out local restaurants. Wherever I was, I was always connected… that is until I wasn’t.
Curt Gowdy State Park was full as were two campsites in the Medicine Bow National Forest. We finally found a dirt forest service road and with it a dispersed primitive campsite. That would be our home. It was a beautiful spot that lacked all amenities, including an internet connection.
After some initial traveling friction, all was good between Tom and me, and we were having a great time. However, there was still an issue that had to be addressed. Tom wanted to camp at the Echo Canyon campground at the Dinosaur National Monument, and I didn’t. The campsite was 13 miles down a dirt canyon road that the park service advised could be treacherous. “In rainy conditions, we advise a high clearance, 4-wheel drive vehicle.” Violet, the campervan was neither 4 wheel drive nor high clearance. Tom felt that she could handle it, but he is an adventurer, and I am a planner.
I told Tom that I would be splitting off the journey, and we parted under the best terms. I decided to spend another night at our campsite, and my mind was already planning on what projects I would do as Tom and his son pulled away. Instead, I was immediately struck with an immense sense of aloneness. It covered me like a leaded blanket and slowed both my actions and thoughts… I fell into a deep sleep that lasted for hours.
I woke up to a loud buzzing sound. I had made friends with a hummingbird who liked to fly in and out of the campervan’s sliding door. We named the bird “Frank” for some unknown reason, and I started to address him as such. His actions changed as he would fly in, turn towards me, chirp, and fly out. His behavior made me laugh, and I felt less alone. As Frank was flying in and out of the van I heard a thump and looked down to see that the world’s largest chipmunk had jumped into the van. I startled and shouted, “Get out of here!” He jumped out, only to repeat this behavior many times in a fashion akin to a game. “Did I just wake up in a Disney cartoon?” I thought to myself.
I checked my phone and saw one signal bar until it quickly faded away. I set up my Verizon hotspot, linked it to my Tmobile phone, and powered up my Wilson cell phone amplifier. All of that effort allowed me to very slowly send a text message and not much else. I had no internet.
I didn’t have a sense of panic or loss, but I did feel a bit bewildered as this was the first time in a long time that I was disconnected. I decided to undertake a little project, and I organized some of Violet’s drawers and swept her floor. I started to think of other ways to entertain myself, which didn’t involve a high-speed connection.
I’m a planner, and on this trip, I brought an old-style AM/FM radio. I pulled it down from its storage compartment, extended its telescopic antenna, and slowly turned across its slide rule style dial. At 88.3 MHz, I found KVXO, an NPR outlet from Fort Collins, Colorado, and with a little antenna twisting, I was able to get a strong signal. I settled into a broadcast of “Fresh Air.” I have become used to on-demand programming, but it felt more comfortable being just a listener than a programmer. I had no choice in what I would hear next, and that was perfectly alright with me.
After some time, I tired of talk radio, and I powered up my Wonderboom Bluetooth speaker. I have a lot of music on my phone (from my pre-streaming days), and I selected a playlist of light classical music mixed with some straight-ahead jazz.
The music played in the background as I decided on my dinner plans. I remembered that I had a can of corned beef hash in my pantry, which seemed like a perfect gourmet camping meal. I plopped the contents onto a paper plate and carefully sliced it into 4 “hash burger.” I set up my Gas One mini butane stove outside the camper’s door, put the burgers into a frying pan, and cranked up the heat. They sizzled, popped, and spattered as they went from typical processed food to a delectable treat. I put half of the burgers in my Dometic 12 volt fridge and placed the other two on some Pepperidge Farm white bread. They would be my dinner.
The evening idly wore on, and I settled into the night by reading from my Kindle. Dear readers, I am not much of a novel reader, but I have had several books on my Kindle for many years. I pressed a few tabs and soon was engrossed in Tom Brokaw’s The Greatest Generation. My eyelids became heavy, and I drifted off to sleep.
Much of the rest of my trip lacked an Internet connection, but I didn’t seem to mind. I felt informed and entertained with those devices that I had. I had less compulsion to blindly waste hours of my time in the pursuit of needless knowledge. I found peace in hikes, walks, and in conversations with random strangers. When I needed information, I found ways to find it, including asking others for help. I lost the urge to see what was happening on Facebook, and I had no desire to obsess about the day’s news story. There were no impulsive purchases from Amazon. I was at peace.
I didn’t feel less connected, I felt more connected. I was present in my environment and aware of my surroundings. I felt the joy of simplicity, It was good.
Making hash burgers on my Gas One butane stove.An old portable radio provided all of the information that I needed.These devices kept me company. From left to right: My Wonderboom Bluetooth speaker, A very old AM/FM radio, My Kindle Paperwhite.
Some ask for permission, and some beg for forgiveness. I’m in the former category.
Some prefer the excitement of the unknown, and there are those who find comfort in planning. I am in the latter category.
We don’t live in a perfect world, and there is no such thing as an ideal person. With that said, most of us are happy in relationships driven by cooperation rather than conflict.
I have this “thing” when I travel, I like to have a reasonable amount of gas in my car. This is especially true when I’m traveling out west, where gas stations are few and far between. My worry kicks in at a quarter of a tank of fuel and builds until I find a gas station. At around an eighth of a tank, I can feel my heart race, and as the indicator needle drops further, I start to panic.
In July, my friend Tom told me that he planned on traveling out west with his son for a vacation. Tom was working on several big projects, but the summer was drawing to a close, and he wanted to give his boy an adventure. “The hiking paths at Glacier are closed, and so I was thinking about camping in Wyoming and western Colorado. Do you want to come along?” He asked. “Yes, absolutely,” I replied. Violet, my campervan, had been sitting idle all summer due to the pandemic. I was more than happy to get back into her driver’s seat.
I tried to pin Tom down for some details, but he shrugged me off. Remember my “planner” comment from above? Tom tends to be in the “more spontaneous” camp. Eventually, he let me know that he was planning on going the first week of August.
As the departure date approached, I pressed for more information, but it seemed to aggravate him. I knew that Tom was stressed, but I still needed the necessary data. “When are we leaving?” I asked. “I think around 4 AM. We can meet on the road.” He replied.
We live minutes from each other, so the “meet on the road” comment was confusing. I started to get Violet ready for the journey. I made a trip to Walmart to buy camp food. I packed a duffle bag full of clothes. The day before we were scheduled to leave, I texted him and asked him where we were going to meet. “On the road,” he replied. “Are you serious?” I responded. “What’s the big deal?” was his comeback.
I was about to drive 1000 miles with no other information than a destination. My mind started to move into high gear. Had I somehow coerced Tom into inviting me to go on this trip? No, I didn’t. Was he upset with me for some reason? I see Tom most days, and we get along well. It was clear that he didn’t want to drive in tandem with me, but it was unclear why.
My behavior in such a situation is very predictable and dates back to my childhood. My reaction is a multi-step process, most of which happens very quickly. First, I feel very hurt. Then I wonder if I did something wrong. If I did do something wrong, I try to correct it. If I didn’t do anything wrong, I move on to the next stage, anger. I’m not a very angry person, so this stage rapidly transitions to the final stage… I call that stage, “Kuna pride.”
When I was a young child, I would try to engage my dad. For instance, when I was in fourth grade, I found an old radio in the alley. I brought it to my dad and asked him if he would help me remove the radio’s speaker, so I could use it in another project. I recall him sitting in an upholstered rocker that we had in our living room. “Dad, could you help me get this speaker. I want to use it for something else, but I don’t know how to remove it from the chassis.” He seemed to hover 10 feet above me. He moved the edge of the “Sun-Times” that he was reading and looked down at me. “It’s impossible to remove those speakers,” he said and went back to reading the paper. I knew that it was possible to remove the speaker because I had already figured out how to do it. I was asking him for help because I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted him to value me, and I wanted him to be proud of me.
I felt hurt, then I blamed myself for not being a good enough son, then I got angry, and then I moved into Kuna pride. I took the old radio down into the basement and pulled the speaker. I brought it back upstairs and showed him that I had solved the problem without his help. I knew at that point that he would be more annoyed with me than proud. I wanted him to see that I didn’t need him. That I didn’t need anyone. I wanted him to know that if he didn’t believe in me, then I would believe in myself. I would not let him or anyone determine if I was good enough. I would figure out life on my own. I would find my own path. That, dear reader, is Kuna pride.
I know that it is considered wrong to be proud, but I felt that I had little choice. If my own father didn’t want to spend 15 minutes with me, who would? I could become the reject that I assumed that he thought I was, or I could adopt the idea that I wasn’t a reject, I was just different. Different is neither good nor bad. Being different would allow me to form my own thoughts. I didn’t need to sacrifice who I was on the fickle altar of popularity.
I could cite other examples of Kuna pride in my life, but you get the idea. In some ways, Kuna pride has made me a stronger and more independent person. I can think on my feet, and I don’t need a lot of external validation to do those things that I feel are correct. Naturally, there is also a downside to such a trait; I’ll let you ponder that.
When it was clear that Tom didn’t want to travel with me, I moved through my “stages.” “I don’t need anyone to travel. I can do it on my own. I’m not going to let anyone determine who I am. If he doesn’t want to spend time with me, so be it. I will make this trip my own adventure” Kuna pride was now in command.
I turned on the Violet’s 12-volt Dometic fridge and stocked it with perishables. I loaded her pantry with dry goods. I filled a snack bag with some fruit and salty treats and placed it on the console next to the driver’s seat. I shoved my duffle bag in a storage compartment under the bed. I filled my thermos with coffee, my Hydro Flask with ice water, and placed both in the center console cupholders. I punched in Curt Gowdy State Park, Wyoming on my iPhone’s GPS, started Violet’s engine, and backed out of the driveway.
With Kuna pride, there is always some residual hurt and anger. Still, I quickly buried those feelings as I was not about to allow anyone to take anything more away from me. I was going to make the most of the drive.
I filled the driving hours thinking about random things, listening to podcasts and music, and making phone calls. As I approached Omaha, I realized that my phone wasn’t charging. I had just replaced the charging cord, and jiggling the connection confirmed the fear that my iPhones lightning port was defective. I moved into problem-solving mode and started to search for a T-mobile or Best Buy store in Omaha. Just then, I got a text message from Tom. “Where are you?” I replied that I was approaching Omaha, and I had to make a stop there. “We are about 25 minutes ahead of you and are stopping in Omaha, too,” came his text. I replied, “OK.” I was not about to ask him if he wanted to meet up in Omaha. One of the aspects of Kuna pride is that once I’m hurt, I establish a 20-foot high emotional barrier to prevent being hurt again. I spied a Love’s Travel Stop and pulled in. I filled up on gas and found an overpriced wireless charger for my phone and continued my journey.
More text messages from Tom started to come in, and he was acting normal. I told you that I’m not a person who stays angry, and this is especially true when it comes to people that I care about. My barrier wall was intact, but it was crumbling a bit.
I continued to drive with an eye on the fuel gauge and made sure that I found a gas station when the tank was at the quarter level. On past trips with Tom, my need to fill up has been a stress point between us. He likes to drive as far as possible on a single tank of gas; I have had to bring him a jerry can when he has run out of fuel in the past. Now I could stop for gas as frequently as needed. There was a relief in this.
The further west that I traveled, the worse my T-mobile signal fared. I dug around and found my prepaid Verizon hotspot. I had added a month of service to it just before my departure as a safety net. As I said before, I am a planner.
With the hotspot connected to the Verizon network and my T-mobile iPhone connected to the hotspot, I was able to regain some connection. However, I was still getting a lot of dropouts. The communications with Tom continued via Facetime and voice calls. Tom asked me why I had ignored his calls before the text that I responded to near Omaha. Apparently, my iPhone was malfunctioning on many levels. I made a note to myself to buy an iPhone 12 in the fall.
As we got closer to the exit for Curt Gowdy, Tom told me not to follow the directions from my GPS. “There is a better exit, I don’t remember what number it is, but I’ll recognize it when I see it. I’ll let you know what it is once I find it.” I told him, “OK.” He eventually relayed the exit information to me, and I started to scan the Interstate for the sign. To make the situation more confusing, I had to drive through what seemed like a million road construction cones. Suddenly, my Verizon hotspot disconnected from my phone. I reached down to power it up, and at that exact time, I drove past the exit. A wave of panic rushed over me. I was in the middle of nowhere, and I had no idea if the next exit was 1 mile or 100 miles away. I had been driving 14 hours, I was exhausted, and now I was sick to my stomach.
Luckily, Laramie’s exit was only about 10 miles west, and I pulled off the Interstate. By then, Tom informed me that all of the campsites at Curt Gowdy were filled, and he was leaving the park. “Stay at the visitor’s center,” I texted. “I’ll find you there.” I pulled into a small church parking lot and tried to figure out where I was. Tom called and told me to meet him at the intersection of Happy Jack road and the Interstate. He might have told me to meet him on the second moon of Jupiter, as I would have had an equally good chance of figuring out how to get there. “Wait, wait, wait! Let’s meet at the visitor’s center. I can put that into the GPS,” I said. Tom continued to push for the Happy Jack destination, and then it came out of my mouth. You can imagine the types of words that emanated from my piehole; however, it would be impossible to convey the level of anger and rage that accompanied them. I had had it.
I was driving again and directly in front of me was the entrance to the Interstate. How the heck did I find it? I pulled onto the expressway and drove east. Suddenly, the GPS announced, “Next exit Happy Jack road.” I didn’t remember programming the GPS, but that was the exit that Tom wanted me to meet him. We connected and started looking for a place to camp. We drove into the Medicine Bow National Forest and found a campground, but it was full. We drove to another, and it was also full. We found a forest service road and drove in. We came upon a family and asked if they knew if camping was allowed along the service road. The husband said that there was dispersed camping, but we would have to drive down a bit. We pressed forward and found a clearing about a mile and a half up the dirt road.
I parked Violet and tried to settle down. I was absolutely exhausted, stressed, and shaking. At the same time, I was relieved that we had found a place to camp, and I was happy to see Tom and his son. They came over, and we started to chat. The first thing that Tom commented on was how surprised he was at my expletives. I acknowledge his statement noting that I was exhausted and frustrated. At that point, Tom’s son asked me in earnest if I really did have all of my breakfast meals planned out in advance. It was clear that they had had a discussion in the car concerning my behaviors. I don’t believe that the discussion was complementary in nature. I decided to take the high road. “People are different. Some are planners, some are more spontaneous. Neither position is right or wrong…” At that point, Tom butted in laughing, “It was such a relief not having you follow us. What a pain in the ass.” My kindness button switched off. I was furious again. However, I knew that it would be foolish to respond to him in my depleted state. I was in no position to accurately judge anything.
The evening ended, and I went to bed, but I didn’t sleep despite my exhaustion. Why was I here? Why did I go on this vacation? The questions tumbled through my mind. I decided that I would talk to Tom the next morning and tell him about my feelings. I would also say to him that I would be returning home the following day. It made no sense to drive 1000 miles and then return home without doing anything, and I wanted to hike the park, but I couldn’t see spending the next week with Tom.
The next morning Tom had noticed that I was acting more sullen and tried to use humor to lighten me up. I told him that I needed to talk to him without his son present. Having a serious conversation with Tom is possible. Still, it is not conducted in a typical fashion, as he has a tendency to interrupt.
I told him about my frustration and my plan to leave the following day. It was clear that Tom didn’t want this, and that his comment from the night before was meant to be humorous. However, there was a grain of truth in his barb. He told me that he was feeling a lot of stress and wanted to drive away his tension. He noted that it had been difficult for him to have me follow on past trips due to our different driving styles. He implied that he didn’t want that additional stress on this trip. I admitted to him that it was also stressful for me to follow him. Driving tandem was stressful for both of us, but for opposite reasons. He noted that he was only 30-40 miles ahead of me during the entire trip and that he would have come back to get me if anything had gone wrong. He said many other things, but the gist of the conversation was that no ill will was intended by him. He had asked me on the trip because he wanted me to come and not out of a sense of obligation.
On my part, I was aware that I was reading his behavior through the veil of my past experiences. With the acknowledgment of our mutual stress, my anger faded, and we were just Mike and Tom on another one of our adventures. I could feel the relief from both of us as we acknowledged how external stresses and differences in our personalities were the root causes of the friction between us.
That later fact deserves further comment. I tend to be a planner who wants all of the boxes checked before I engage in something new. Tom finds excitement in the unknown; he enjoys flying by the seat of his pants. In ordinary life, we complement each other. I have made Tom more organized, and he has made me more spontaneous. However, driving 1000 miles in a single day is not part of normal life. Tom said he was sorry if he upset me. We were both happy to move forward. There is a reason that we are best friends. We are imperfect, but neither of us is cruel. We not only like each other, but we also look out for each other.
The trip continued under the best of terms. Will I travel again with Tom? The answer is, yes. How will we travel to our next destination? Well, that is yet to be determined.
I wrote this post for several reasons, but mostly to stimulate you, dear readers, to think about points of conflict that you have had in your relational life. Our past impacts our present. It is easy to misinterpret a person’s actions and motivations. We are all different, and one person’s goal in a situation may differ from another person’s. Textbook communication and conflict resolution protocols are great when you can do them. Still, when you can’t, it is OK to imperfectly resolve a problem. The most important characteristics when moving forward are sincerity, empathy, and honesty. With these traits, a solution is possible. If you are in a relationship that is phony instead of sincere, or one where the parties can only relate to their own needs, or one that is dishonest instead of honest, then no actual resolution can ever be achieved. If these negative characteristics are present, then it may be best to move on or accept that you will be stressed continuously in a repeating pattern of disharmony.
There is more to this vacation story, but I’ll save that for another day.
Peace
Mike
our campsite at Medicine Bow National Forest.Getting ready to hike at Curt Gowdy State Park, Wyoming.Touring the Wyoming State Capitol.Sharing some hot morning tea.
During the pandemic, I established a personal goal to talk to some of my close relatives daily. It feels good to stay in touch with them as we share our lives and support each other. Each of us has different knowledge that we bring to our conversations, mine being a strong background in medicine and science.
One of my relatives was upset that she couldn’t buy Dial antibacterial liquid soap. When she had tried to purchase it early in the pandemic, she was shocked that a gallon refill was selling on Amazon for $70. When she revisited that product a few weeks later, it was sold out.
I reminded my relative that consumer-level antibacterial soaps were no more effective than ordinary soap and that all soap-like handwashing products were equally effective in destroying the coronavirus.
As the pandemic lumbered on, it became impossible to buy any liquid hand soap. My weekly trips to the grocer showcased bare shelves that pump bottles and refills of liquid hand soaps once called home. This elimination of usually plentiful products got me pondering.
My siblings and I are obsessive. We get pleasure from overthinking solutions and learning about topics that most would consider trivial. Anyone who knows me understands my obsessive passion for photography. However, beyond photography, I enjoy learning about many other topics that capture my interest.
My relative’s concerns about the lack of Dial liquid soap incited me to learn more about soap, so here is my “deep dive” on the topic. It is more complicated than you may think.
Soap can be a very inexpensive commodity, yet some people spend $25 or even $100 on a bar with similar cleaning qualities to brands that sell for 40 cents. Some of this additional cost can be accounted for by extras like packaging and exclusive fragrances, but those manufacturing expenses are relatively minor. What sells a product is how it is perceived, and how a product is perceived is often determined by advertising. Advertising and reality and not always bedfellows.
Why do we need soap?
Our skin has glands that secrete oil to protect our bodies from excessive water loss. We also have glands that produce sweat that helps us regulate our body temperature. These secretions are essential, but they also make us “sticky” to dirt, allergens, and microorganisms.
The microorganisms that typically reside on our skin are harmless, although they do contribute to odor. However, our skin can sometimes become contaminated with organisms that cause disease. Keeping our skin clean not only helps us smell nice, but it also protects us from illness.
Before the invention of soap, people relied on other ways to clean themselves. Most commonly, they just used water or water plus an abrasive (like pumice). Oil and water don’t mix, and this method of cleaning isn’t very useful. Like the Romans, some cultures used scented oils that they spread on their skin and scraped off using a unique gadget called a strigil.
History of soap
Archaeologists have discovered recipes for soap dating back to 2800 BC. Soap was likely being used before that time. These soaps were not the colorful scented bars that we use today, but they functioned as soap.
Animal fats and plant oils are made up of triglycerides. The molecular structure of a triglyceride looks like an “E.” The three horizontal arms consist of fatty acids bound together by a glycerol (glycerin) molecule (the vertical line of the E). When a triglyceride is reacted with a very strong base like sodium hydroxide (Lye), the bonds between the glycerol and the fatty acids are broken. This results in fatty acid “salts” and glycerol. We call these fatty acid salts “soap.”
These salts have a unique property. One end is “lipophilic,” meaning fat-loving. This end easily mingles with fats and oils. The other end is “hydrophilic” or water-loving. This end mixes well with water. Fatty acid salts (soap) can bridge the gap between oil and water, allowing us to quickly wash away the gunk and funk. Also, the mixture’s glycerol is an excellent humectant; it attracts water to our skin, keeping it moist.
Soap is one of humankind’s most significant discoveries. The practice of cleaning our bodies has had untold benefits to our health. How would you feel if your surgeon didn’t wash their hands before operating on you?
Soap has been manufactured for hundreds of years. Still, mass production of soap and the resulting reduction in cost happened in the late 1700s. By the 1800s, consumer brands like Ivory soap started to appear on store shelves.
During WWI, Germany needed to use soap making ingredients in their war effort. Their scientists created other compounds that performed similarly to soap but didn’t use animal fat or plant oil. We now know these agents as detergents, and there are now more than 1000 types in use today. Detergents offered qualities that made them superior to traditional soap. They could be made more concentrated for industrial applications, or significantly gentler than soap for personal care products. Detergents were more neutral in their pH (a measurement of how acidic or basic something is) than soap, making them less irritating on skin. It was also easier to add things to detergent products. Moisturizers and conditioners could be added to personal care products, while powerful cleaning chemicals could be mixed into industrial products. Importantly, traditional soap reacts with calcium and magnesium in water to create soap scum; detergents don’t do this, making them perfect for a variety of products ranging from laundry detergent to shampoo.
Some detergents had branched hydrocarbon chains making them less biodegradable. However, many common detergents have linear chains similar to fatty acid salts (i.e., soap) and are readily biodegradable. Although some detergents are made from petrochemicals (oil), many are now made from renewable plant oils.
Both soaps and detergent products alter their ingredients to create mixes that serve different needs. For instance, the addition of fatty acid salts made from coconut oil in soaps and the addition of the detergent sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) in detergent-based products makes these respective products more “sudsy.”
Personal care products will add chemicals that attract water to the skin, serve as an occlusive barrier that prevents water from leaving the skin, or act as an emollient to soften the skin. Some products will add abrasive agents for more robust cleaning (Lava soap); others will dilute a cleanser making it milder (Dove with ¼ moisturizing cream). Other additives include water softening agents like EDTA, colorants to make the product look pretty, and fragrances to make the product smell nice.
Most consumer soaps are created for “mass appeal” they work great for healthy skin or skin that is slightly dry or a bit too oily. Some ingredients in soaps are there to differentiate them and offer little unique benefits. Growing up, I recall a product that touted “mink oil” and a shampoo that contained “placenta extract.”
Not all bars of soap are soap!
To label a product soap its cleaning agent has to be made of the salts of fatty acids created by a chemical process called saponification:
Triglycerides + water + a strong base = fatty acid salts (soap) + glycerol (glycerin)
Real soap mostly exists in “bars.” However, if a soap chemist uses potassium hydroxide instead of sodium hydroxide, the resulting soap will be a liquid instead of solid. That is how Dr. Bronner’s liquid soap is made. However, liquid soap represents a minimal market share of the soap industry.
Almost all liquid hand “soaps,” body washes, shower gels, and shampoos are made from detergents. Detergents have more desirable properties than soaps, including the fact that they don’t cause soap scum. Anyone who has tried to wash their hair with a traditional bar of soap will attest to the fact that detergent-based shampoos are vastly superior.
If a bar doesn’t use soap as the cleansing ingredient, it can’t use the name soap on its label. Instead, it will be called a “cleansing bar” or a “beauty bar.” The most popular bar, “soap” in the US, is Dove. Dove is a syndet (synthetic detergent) bar and does not contain soap.
“Lies” that soap makers tell us
If you search Google using the keyword “soap,” you will come across many websites from cottage soapmakers, beauty gurus, and “natural” experts. They often repeat the same incorrect and misleading information concerning soaps vs. detergents. I’m guessing that some of this is due to a desire to promote their products, and some are due to poor understanding of the scientific literature on the topic.
Many of these sites seem to use the same wording, suggesting that they are cutting and pasting information. They sometimes use “scary psychology” to frighten consumers from buying cheaper, mainstream products. I like handmade soaps. However, I think consumers should buy them because they like them, not because they are afraid to use cheaper but equally effective commercial items.
I’m only going to touch on some examples, as there are too many to list in this already long post.
-Soaps are natural; detergents are not.
Both soaps and detergents are made from naturally occurring substrates. Both undergo chemical reactions to make the final product. Fats don’t turn into soap “spontaneously.” By the way, many think that natural always means better. That is a bias, not a fact.
-Soaps are biodegradable; detergents are not.
Some detergents were created using branched-chain hydrocarbons. These take longer to biodegrade. However, the structure of many detergent hydrocarbon chains look very similar to soap and are readily biodegradable. With that said, no soap or detergent should be used directly in a clean water source (such as a clear stream or lake). If you are hiking, dispose of your wash water at least 200 feet away from such a source.
-Detergents remove your skin oils.
That is precisely what both soaps and detergents are supposed to do. The key is to remove as little as possible while still cleaning you. The gentlest skin cleansers are made from detergents, not soaps.
-” Our soaps are gentler to the skin than commercial products.”
It is possible to make a gentle hand-crafted soap, but overall soap is harsher than syndet bars like Dove or Cetaphil. Soap has a higher pH (9-10), while syndet bars have a pH closer to skin pH. High pH can be irritating to sensitive skin.
-Manufacturers use detergents to cut costs.
Detergents cost more, which is why Dove costs more than Ivory.
-Detergents are made from petroleum, but soaps come from living things.
Petroleum is natural as it comes from algae and plankton. Many detergents are now made from plant oils instead of petroleum.
-Sulfates cause cancer, cataracts, etc.
Some detergents contain sulfur. One of the common detergents in personal care products is sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS). This agent is used because it is good at removing grime, and it also foams well. Consumers like products that foam (suds) because foaming gives the impression of cleaning. However, foaming has little to do with removing grease and dirt.
Products will advertise that they are “Sulfate-free” as an advertising ploy. There is no credible evidence that sulfates cause cancer, cataracts, or other problems. I have also seen “experts” claim on webpages that sulfates are harmful because they can burn if you get them in your eyes and that they can dry out your skin. Well, duh… so does real soap!
-” Our products are phosphate-free!”
Another gimmick. Phosphates were effective water softeners and had been used in products like laundry detergent in the past. As far as I’m aware, they were never used in personal care products. Phosphates can serve as a nutrient for plants, like algae, causing overgrowth, which can be damaging to other aquatic species. Because of this, phosphates have been banned in consumer products, like dishwasher detergent for decades. Many states in the US have total bans on the use of phosphates.
-” We only use essential oils to scent our products.”
Essential oils smell great, but they are also significant allergens for many. These plant products contain dozens of compounds that can increase your chance of getting inflammation of the skin (dermatitis). I love essential oils, but I don’t think that they are risk-free.
-” We are paraben-free.”
Parabens are preservatives used in some cosmetics, and some of them can mimic the hormone estrogen. However, the strongest estrogenic paraben is only about 1/10,000 as potent as real estrogen. Besides, some parabens do not act like estrogens at all.
-” We are 100% natural”.
The term natural is a marketing term and doesn’t mean anything. However, I have to admit that it sounds nice.
-” We use pure (fill in the blank) essence in our products.”
Essence is another term that has no real meaning.
It’s great to support small soap-making operations, and you may love their products. Buy because you like their stuff, not out of fear or guilt.
As I said above, almost all shower gels, shampoos, and body wash are made from detergents. This is because detergents don’t leave a soap scum film. It is possible to create washes and gels with a more neutral pH and build in extra moisturizers (good things). However, some products have a lot of colorants and fragrance added. Consumers like colorful products that have a strong smell. However, these two characteristics are the leading causes of skin irritation in cleansing products. If you have sensitive skin, use a mildly scented product or one that says it is “unscented” or “fragrance-free.” However, both terms have no legal definition. Products listing themselves as “unscented” or “fragrance-free may still include masking fragrances that block unpleasant smells or have an added fragrance to make them smell more beautiful. Confusing, I know. With that said, lightly scented products are less likely to cause an allergic skin reaction than strongly scented ones. You can use your on-board chemical analyzer to determine if a product is strongly scented. Press your nose to the item and give it a good sniff.
Overall shower gels are more colorful and fragrant, and body washes are more “moisturizing.” People like using thick body washes and gels. However, their thickness is caused by a thickening agent and has little to do with the concentration of other ingredients.
In general, consumers tend to overuse liquid cleaners, and a lot of these products wind up going straight down the drain. Although a bottle of wash should last (roughly) the same as a bar of soap, they typically have to be replaced more often. I scanned the internet for comparisons, and it seems like a bar of soap lasts many consumers about twice as long as a bottle of shower gel or body wash. When it comes to teenage use, the difference is even more significant.
More soap facts
The gentlest bar soaps aren’t soap at all; they are syndet (synthetic detergent) bars.
Dove is #1 selling “soap” by far in the US, and it is a syndet bar.
Other gentle bars like CeraVe and Cetaphil are also syndet bars.
Syndet bars can be very gentle cleansers.
Both soaps and syndet bars clean effectively. Certain brands add ingredients to differentiate them from other products, color, and fragrance being the most obvious.
Different fatty acid salts and detergents have different properties. For instance, soaps that are manufactured with added coconut oil and detergents with SLS foam more. People like sudsy cleansers.
You can add extra fat to make a bar of soap “more moisturizing” and less effective as a cleanser (less drying).
You can add humectants like glycerine and honey to help keep moisture close to the skin.
You can add barriers like oil and waxes that reduce moisture evaporation from the skin.
Some ingredients, like oatmeal, are calming and reduce itching (Alveeno). Others are abrasives and help clean oily/dirty hands (Lava soap).
These ingredients change some of the properties of “soap,” and you may find that one brand may suit your skin type or use needs more than another. However, the base product is the same.
Liquid soap has been promoted as being more sanitary than bar soap. Some of these claims may be due to soap manufacturers’ desire to sell these more expensive products. However, bar soap is sanitary. Researchers deliberately inoculated bar soap with bacteria and then had people wash their hands with the soap. Afterwards, they didn’t find the bacteria on the subjects’ hands. Why? When you wash your hands, you are also cleaning the soap. The bacteria doesn’t go on your hands, it goes down the drain. However, liquid soaps are neater when used in common areas like kitchens and public bathrooms.
Soap is soap
You can spend $2800 for a bar of Qatar soap, which is infused with gold and diamond dust. It is easy to find very expensive soap that sells in the $40-$100/bar range. Is this cost justified? These soaps will be made of high-quality materials. They may be milled many times to provide better blending and a harder bar; they may be a few ounces more in weight than a traditional bar. They may have more beautiful scents and come in a nicer box. These upgrades do justify a higher price, but certainly not $40-$100. Why are some willing to pay that much? Perception and image. Cause? Advertising at its best.
You can buy many brand name soaps for around a dollar a bar, and most are formulated to be gentle and effective. For people with healthy skin, a forty-cent bar of IVORY or a dollar bar of Dove will meet their hygiene needs.
More fun facts
Consumer antibacterial soaps are no more effective than regular soaps in controlling germs. However, they may pollute the environment more. Many brands that had antimicrobial agents have quietly removed them and now use confusing terms like “Washes Away Bacteria,” All soaps do this.
Although people have been using soaps for thousands of years, the commercialization of soap is more recent. Soap factories were known to exist in the 12th century. It wasn’t until 1811 that Eugene-Michel Chevreul determined the exact amount of fat needed to make soap. Before this, soap making was a guessing game. This finding plus other discoveries revolutionized the commercial production of soap.
During WWI, Germany needed oils and fats for their war effort. German chemists developed detergents made from petrochemicals during that time. Detergents are still made from petrochemicals, but many are also made from renewable resources, like vegetable oils.
In the 1930s, Procter and Gamble introduced a continuous process for the manufacturing of soap, which increased production and decreased manufacturing time to less than a day. Before this, many soaps had to “cure” before they could be packaged and sold. Large scale soap manufacturers still use this method.
Soaps, cleansing bars, shower gels, shampoos, and body wash may contain additional ingredients that may make their products more desirable. Color and fragrance are two apparent additions. Others may include conditioners, anti-static agents, sudsing agents, thickening agents, humectants, moisturizers, water softening agents, exfoliants, gritty additions, and preservatives.
A Historical Timeline
Ivory soap was introduced in 1879 to produce an inexpensive but good quality product. To reduce costs, Proctor and Gamble extracted the naturally occurring glycerol (glycerin) from the soap and sold it separately. They also whipped air into the product making a less dense soap in another cost-cutting method. This aeration allowed Ivory to float in water, a happy coincidence that was used to create the tag line, “So pure it floats.” The lack of glycerin made Ivory more drying than other soaps (despite its claim that it was gentle). It was eventually added back into the soap’s manufacturing process several decades ago. You may think that Ivory smells like soap. However, what you are detecting is a mild citrus fragrance that is added during the soap making process.
Dr. Bronner’s Magic All-In-One soap was introduced in 1946 and emphasized simple, quality ingredients. It is a soap product and comes in two forms, liquid and bar form. With quirky advertising and emphasis on simple ingredients, it has gained a following among people who think less is more. The real Dr. Bronner wanted humanity to unite as one, and you can find some of his thoughts on Dr. B’s soap bottles and bar soap wrappers. He also claimed that his soap had 18 uses, including as a toothpaste. As a person who once tried to brush his teeth with this stuff, I can tell you that it is a no go. However, it is a lovely soap.
Dial soap was the first antibacterial soap, and it was introduced in 1948. The original antibacterial agent was hexachlorophene, which the company called “AT-7.” Hexachlorophene was removed from the soap in the 1970s as it was determined to be dangerous. It was replaced by triclocarban, which was removed from the soap in 2016 due to FDA concerns. Dial soap bars now contain benzalkonium chloride as its antibacterial agent. At this point, it can be assumed that their antibacterial additions are more marketing than science. Dial was the most popular bar soap in the US from 1953 to the early 1990s. It is now the second most popular soap. Beyond antimicrobial additions, the soap is relatively mild and has a pleasant nostalgic scent that people associate with clean.
Zest was introduced in 1955 and emphasized that it didn’t produce soap scum in its commercials. “You’re not fully clean if you’re not Zestfully clean!” Zest was a combination bar of both soap and detergents. The detergent portion of the bar prevented soap scum. Zest was reformulated in 2007 and removed the detergents, likely to reduce production costs. They countered this change by adding more color and fragrance to the bar.
The Dove Beauty Bar was introduced in 1957. It was the first commercial bar to rely totally on detergents instead of soap as its main ingredients. Advertised as being gentle because it contained 1/4 cold cream, its real strength was in using detergents, which were gentler and more pH balanced than soaps. Dove bars are now (by far) the most sold bar soap in the US.
Irish Spring was introduced in Europe in 1970 and came to the US in 1972. It is a soap-based bar with a strong citrus/woody/clean smell. I was 19 when this soap came to the US and loved the scent. However, within a shower or two, I started to itch. I’m guessing I was sensitive to the overpowering fragrance.
Coast bars are also soap products, and the original scent was introduced in 1976. This is another bar that smelled fantastic and clean. I thought I would be a Coast user, but after a few showers, I scratched my skin off. Again, I believe my itching was due to the pleasant but powerful fragrance.
Liquid soap has been around since the 1800s. Its use in a home environment became popular in 1979 when Softsoap was introduced (a detergent, not a soap). Softsoap solved the age-old problem of the wet communal soap bar and became an instant hit.
The 1980s saw the emergence of liquid body washes followed by shower gels. These are almost exclusively detergent products. These products have decimated the bar soap industry, with about 80% of consumers using them in preference to bar soap. Manufacturers are happy with these numbers as body washes and gels are more expensive to buy than equivalent bars. It should be noted that their ingredients are very similar to shampoo, which is why many claim to be “body and hair cleaners.”
In 1999 the Deb company introduced the first foaming hand soap. Foaming soap is a diluted soap pumped through a special aeration pump that turns the liquid into a soft foam. Foamers use less soap, and you need less water to wash the foam off. I like foaming liquid soaps because there is less drippage on counters and sinks. I’ll give you a recipe to easily make DIY foaming soap later in this post.
My history (and Hack 1)
I have moderately dry skin, and dry winters used to be brutal. I would scratch my skin to the point of bleeding (usually not realizing that I was doing it). When I was a kid, I used whatever soap we had at home, the typical national brands. Once my father brought home an entire case of an unmarked and unwrapped green soap that was harsh, I referred to it as “rash in a bar.” Eventually, the whole family refused to use it even though my dad said it was, “Just fine.” By the way, he also stopped using it after we did!
As soon as I had a little spending money, I started my long journey to find a soap that would solve my dry skin problems. Some soaps, like Irish Spring and Coast, made my pruritus worse as I was sensitive to their strong fragrances. Other soaps like Dove and Camay felt like they left a coating on my skin, which was still dry and itchy. When body washes and shower gels came out, I was the first in line to try them. I enjoyed their pleasant smells, but I was still scratching. It didn’t seem to matter if I was using inexpensive Dial or high end shower gel, I kept scratching.
Decades ago, I decided to switch to more basic hygiene products. This process started with shaving. In the past, I would buy a razor and blade set at the drugstore. Although the cost of a razor was inexpensive, its replacement blade cartridges were not. Every few years, another blade would be added to a cartridge product, and the prices kept on going up. I didn’t see any benefit to the new razor designs; they seemed like gimmicks that forced me to stay within a particular brand. I decided it was time for a radical change and went back to using a simple double edge safety razor. I liked that the replacement blades were less than a dime apiece and that the system was more eco friendly. At that time, I also switched from aerosol shaving cream to shaving soap. I was no longer dumping plastic blade cartridges and aerosol cans into landfills.
My success with the “new” shaving system got me thinking about other products that I was using, and I decided to leave shower gels and go back to bar soap. I genuinely like using a good old bar of soap in the shower. I love the smell of bar soap, and the way a bar feels in my hand. Another win was the cost, as a bar of soap that can be up to 10 times less expensive than an equivalent body wash. For me, the combination of preferring bar soap plus some small savings has kept me in the bar soap camp for the last few decades. I like to switch brands, going from typical consumer products to imported bars and back again. I get tired of one scent and enjoy switching to another. Although I could tolerate just about any mild bar soap, my skin was still dry and itchy during the winter months.
I needed to think outside of the box. Our skin is soft and supple when it is well hydrated. Soaps and detergents remove a lot of the protective oils and dehydrate our skin. Formulations with milder surfactants (soaps and detergents) leave more oil behind, but they didn’t make me feel particularly clean. Products that contained substances like glycerin and shea butter were a bit more moisturizing, but I was still scratching.
Hack 1
My wife had told me to use a body lotion for years, but I hated rubbing all of that gunk on me. It seemed to take forever, and my skin would be white with the greasy stuff. Many years ago, I had an idea. What if I put on lotion as soon as I got out of the shower while I was still wet? That was a game-changer. First, because a little lotion or cream goes a long way and glides on your skin. Second, because it traps water on the surface of your skin, precisely what you want. When you apply lotion this way, you need to use very little, so you have no white greasy skin. It also works much better than toweling off and then applying a lotion.
I like two products, and use whatever one is that is on sale. My favorite is CeraVE moisturizing cream, and my second choice is Cetaphil moisturizing cream. Both come in tubs, and a little goes a long way. When you spread these creams on yourself, you also flatten out the water droplets on you, sort of like you are squeegeeing yourself. By the time that you are done, you are dry-no towel needed.
Hack 2
Foaming hand soap is convenient, it doesn’t drip onto your counter, and it requires less water to wash off your hands. It is diluted hand soap, so why does it cost as much as hand soap? It is easy to create your own foaming soap for about one-fourth of the price of the purchased stuff. Simply fill your foaming soap dispenser one-quarter full of regular liquid hand soap and then add water. Distilled water is the best, but I have used regular tap water too. Add the top, give it a shake, and you have just made foaming hand soap. Typical “Softsoap” detergent type refills, as well as liquid Castile soaps like Dr. Bronner’s work well. You can vary the amount of soap to water ratio a bit to meet your particular tastes.
Hack 3
During the pandemic, it became hard to buy any liquid soap refills. However, body wash was in plentiful supply, some selling for as little as $15/gallon. Body wash is hand soap with added skin conditioners. It also foams more, which can be a pleasant experience. You can use body wash just like hand soap in a traditional pump dispenser, or dilute it (as in Hack 2) to use as a foaming hand soap.
Hack 4
Body wash and shampoo are also very similar. A lot of body washes say “hair and body.” A cheap shampoo can be an excellent hand cleaner, and if you are out of shampoo, you can use many body washes. However, don’t try to wash your hair with regular soap as the soap scum will leave your hair a dull and tangled mess. If you have to do it, you will need to use an acid wash (like diluted lemon juice) to get rid of the gunk.
Hack 5
You can wash your hands using liquid dish soap, and you can also dilute it to use in a foamer. Liquid dish soap is relatively mild but more robust than traditional hand soaps (After all, it is designed to degrease pots and pans). Using dish soap would be my least preferred choice as it is more likely to dry your hands. If this is your only option, follow up your handwashing with a hand little lotion.
Hack 6
You can easily make liquid soap. I have never done this, but there are many YouTube videos on the subject, just type in DIY liquid hand soap, and you will be flooded with videos. The process is simple, shred a bar of regular soap and dissolve it into some hot water. Then add more water (often a gallon total). Let the mixture cool and gel, then beat it into a smooth consistency with a hand mixer. Sometimes recipes call for a couple of tablespoons of glycerine. Distilled water is best to use in this case.
There is a lot more to most things when you scratch the surface.
Soap is something that we use every day, but most of us rarely think about it. However, our lives would be very different if we didn’t have soap and detergent products. From body wash to toothpaste, soaps and detergents touch every aspect of our lives. The use of surfactants made surgeries safer and our populations healthier. We can all be thankful for soaps when we are forced to sit directly next to strangers on a commuter train or airplane.
Soap is not magical; it does its work using understandable principles of chemistry. Did you think that the chemistry class that you took in high school was useless? Here is an example of how chemistry is real, and how we encounter it every single day of our lives.
Soap like products are big business and individuals have made fortunes manufacturing the slippery stuff. Soap makers, both big and small, have used manipulations and untruths to differentiate their products from the rest. Small companies claim that the ingredients that big manufacturers use are dangerous to health, incorrectly citing research literature. Big companies promote their more expensive products while ignoring their equally good but cheaper offerings. Go to any store, and you will find more expensive body washes and gels at eye level while less expensive bar soaps languish on the bottom shelf. We have also been led to believe that bar soap is unsanitary, despite scientific evidence to the contrary, and not to mention the fact that it has been used safely for hundreds of years. You have to admire the advertising genius that convinces someone to spend $100 on a product that is very similar to one costing under $1.
I touched on many aspects of these products. Still, in the end, I was most interested in the psychology of soap, and how we believe things when we are told them enough times, even if they are false.
There appear to be two common links that are necessary to convert fiction to “facts.” The first is an air of expertise or authority, and the second is a sense of trust. You see these characteristics when you read the FAQs of soap maker’s websites. They are also present when you scan a “filler” article in a magazine. It seems like many of these authors never read primary sources; they just copy other’s interpretations. Individuals with no actual expertise in an area claim it, and we believe it. Someone who has “Twenty years in the beauty industry” is unlikely able to fully understand a scientific research paper. Yet we believe them. When we hear something enough times, our minds accept that information as fact. Once we accept a fact, we rarely question it. The sky is blue; water is wet… we don’t need to think further on these topics.
Another way to influence us is by associating something with something else that we believe is true. Bar soap must be unsanitary because people who are dirty touch it. Something that was associated with being clean is now associated with being dirty. This “guilt by association” way of influencing others is classic. It can be seen used in many aspects of daily life. Unfortunately, it has also been used to denigrate entire groups of marginalized individuals.
Lastly, another way to manipulate someone is to create a problem and then offer a solution. Antibacterial soaps did this by making us believe that we didn’t need just to clean our bodies, we had to sanitize them so we wouldn’t offend. A non-related example of this problem/solution model can be seen in Portland, Oregon. Relatively peaceful protestors were labeled as terrorists, and so the solution was to arrest them “secret police” style. This later use of this technique is far more frightening to me than if I needed antibacterial soap to avoid having BO.
We are a naive and trusting culture, and our ideas are often formed by others who do so for their gain. Cult leaders and politicians gain huge followings by lying to our faces. They tell us that they have the answers while convincing us that any information contrary to their monolog is suspect and dangerous.
The next time you pick up a bar of soap, push a shower gel pump, or squeeze a tube of body wash, think about the complexity of this simple pleasure. Soap helped civilization prosper and likely had a stronger impact on infectious disease than antibiotics. Soap making is one of the first practical uses of organic chemistry. The selling of soap demonstrates how an essentially similar product can be differentiated and promoted by manipulation and trickery. More importantly, it demonstrates how easily we humans can be controlled. Is it possible for us to still be led to believe falsehoods in this age of facts and information? The sad news is that it is easier than ever before. We want to believe that we understand the world around us, and we look to influencers and leaders to guide us in this pursuit. Unfortunately, this desire leaves us vulnerable. We accept lies as the truth and then feel forced to defend our erroneous position. If you understand the history of soap you also understand the strengths and weaknesses of humans. Think about that the next time you plunk down a few bucks to buy a block of bars at Walmart.
I know that this is a very long post so thank you for reading it. I’ll be away from an internet connection for the next couple of weeks and I won’t be posting because of this. Have a great day! Mike
Simple bar “soaps” come in many “flavors.” From left to right: a totally synthetic bar, a soap bar with minimal fragrance, and an imported bar with an exotic scent.It is easy to “make” your own foaming soap. The example on the left used liquid Castile soap and the one on the right used regular hand “soap” (detergent). Use a 1:4 ratio of soap to water and save some money. I add a drop of food coloring for appearance’s sake.A razor from Germany, shaving soap and badger brush from England, and blades from Israel. My shaving has become an international affair.One of my favorite moisturizing creams. A little goes a long way.
I arrived back in Chicago from a trip to New Mexico in early March. I was met by escalating panic around COVID-19. I had heard stories of shortages, and so I checked our pantry and freezer. I found a reasonable amount of food, but many items were things that we didn’t eat. Yes, we had stuff, just not the right stuff. I decided to go to the store and stock up.
Over the last few years, I had been doing more grocery shopping, and I had narrowed down my purchase locations. If I needed to pick up something quick, I would go to the Fresh Thyme Market, a small grocer around the corner from my house. However, if I needed to buy a significant haul, I would head over to my local Walmart Supercenter.
I can’t say that I enjoy shopping at Walmart. It is big, crowded, and it always seems to need a little tidying up. However, despite my complaints, Walmart has some positive attributes. The grocery store is part of a Walmart, making it easy to buy anything from camping supplies to printer paper. Walmart’s house brand, “Great Value,” is decent, and I know the store’s layout well enough to make my trips efficient.
However, that early March stock-up trip was different. The store was significantly more crowded, and its shelves were bare. No toilet paper, no paper towels, no rice, no flour, no pasta, no tomato sauce, no oatmeal. The list went on.
That week I also “hit” a few other stores, including Aldi and Jewel. I wanted to have food in case the world was about to shut down. Different stores had different stock items, so I was able to buy enough essential foods to secure my family’s immediate future. Although I felt good about “providing,” I experienced a less than enthusiastic reception from Julie. She saw my stockpiling in a more negative light.
Based on this, I turned the job of grocery shopper over to her and settled into other tasks. Shortly afterward, Governor Pritzker ordered that Illinois shut down; I spent the next few weeks isolating in my house, only venturing to leave for a daily walk.
Julie did assume shopping duties, but her own busy life hampered her ability to take on these tasks fully. At the same time, our adult kids were complaining that we lacked food items again. It became clear that I had to shoulder some of the shopping burden, a task that I was not looking forward to.
I felt that shopping at Walmart held a higher than acceptable risk, as it was huge and always crowded. The sheer numbers of individuals made me concerned that the place was a cesspool of viral particles. I could order groceries online, but most of those services have an upcharge, and feeding five adults is already an expensive proposition. I thought about returning to Aldi, which is the least costly grocery in our area. However, Aldi isn’t a full-service store, which would mandate that I would have to shop at least two different stores every week, and I didn’t want to do that. The most reasonable plan would be to buy at a regular grocer, like Jewel. Jewel is a full-service grocery store that also houses a drug store. Also, it appeared that their sanitizing standards were high, and their shopper density was low.
Once a week, I would drive to Jewel, shopping list in hand. I organized my list into food zones and shopped as quickly as possible. I didn’t hunt for the best prices, and I bought what was available. If they only had designer tomato sauce, that is what I purchased. The idea was to balance viral exposure with economy and convenience.
Overall, the strategy worked. I was able to get in and out relatively quickly. Naturally, I took all the necessary precautions along the way. However, this was not a total “win” strategy as my grocery bills were extraordinarily high. It wasn’t uncommon for me to spend over $400 in a given week, without buying a lot of meat. However, it still was the most reasonable option at that time.
One month dragged on to two, two months dragged to three, and three dragged to four. Along the way, I found myself assessing and reassessing what I could do. I expanded my “social circle” to include my friend, Tom. I visited my sisters “from a distance.” I traveled to “safe spots” to take photographs. I started to live again but in a more cautious way.
My grocery bill was out of control, and I needed to evaluate if there were more cost-effective options. I was aware that Walmart was making efforts to keep its stores as safe as possible, including requiring face masks. It also seemed reasonable to assume that the first hoards of COVID panicked shoppers had subsided, and that food stocks had been replenished. It was time to return to Walmart.
One of the tricks that I do to make a tedious task more palatable is to include family members. Before the pandemic, I would often take one of my kids on my grocery shopping trips. This addition turned a chore into an adventure. We would joke, laugh, and explore as we shopped. Also, my co-participant received special status. If they wanted to buy a frivolous or special item, I almost always capitulated. I know that CDC experts suggest solo shopping, but I’m more efficient in having a helper. Both Grace and Kathryn agreed to assist me on my return Walmart trip.
With masks on our faces and a small bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket, we arrived at Walmart. I was happy to see that they were limiting entrance to a single monitored door. As we entered the store’s vestibule, we were handed a shopping cart by an employee who had just wiped it down with a sanitizing solution. It did seem like they were making efforts to keep things as safe as possible.
We approached our job with purpose as we divided and conquered each grocery section. The store was stocked, but there were still areas that were showing shortages. Toilet paper was available, but only one brand and in limited quantity. Flour was present, but only a few bags were on the shelves. Cleaning products were there, but any brand that claimed that it was antibacterial was missing.
Although I bought quite a few groceries, my card was not overflowing. I purchased very few “high ticket” items like steak, and I stocked up mostly with the “Great Value” house brand. All in all, my grocery bill was just over $260. I would have spent more with a comparable Jewel haul, but it was clear that Walmart’s prices had increased significantly since my last trip there. With that said, I’ll likely return as I estimate that I saved anywhere from $50-$75 over a similar Jewel shopping trip.
So, where am I going with all of this? During a short crisis, it is easy to make a radical change because you know that things will soon be back to normal. However, as a crisis continues, it transforms into a way of life. In past posts, I wrote about how I moved from trying to replicate my previous experience to living in my current one. Part of that process involved returning to Walmart. Before the pandemic, such a trip would be routine. Still, I had to think carefully if the risks of going into a crowded big-box store were reasonable. I had to think about how I would make such a task as safe as possible.
I believe that this is a reasonable way to approach life in our brave new world. I have no intention of going to a crowded restaurant or a packed church service. However, I know that I have to continue to expand my horizons as this pandemic continues. Naturally, I will uphold whatever laws dictate. I understand that I am not only doing this for my health but also the greater good.
I feel that this is a balanced approach that avoids politics and ideologies. How are you making life decisions during this crisis time? How will your actions change if this way of living becomes the new normal?
After we got home from Walmart we washed our hands. The kids and I put away our food. I divided and sealed up the hamburger that I bought, but reserved some for meatloaf that I made last night. Since I have been sharing recipes, I thought I would share this one too. It is a classic that originated from the Quaker Oats company. It is super easy to make and pretty tasty.
Walmart was less crowded than I expected.I like to portion out large quantities into meal-sized packages.
Basic Meatloaf
Ingredients
1-1/2 Pound(s) lean ground beef or turkey
3/4 Cup(s) oatmeal
3/4 Cup(s) finely chopped onion
1/2 Cup(s) catsup
1 Egg, lightly beaten
1 Tablespoon(s) Worcestershire sauce or soy sauce
2 Clove(s) Garlic, minced
1/2 Teaspoon(s) Salt
1/4 Teaspoon(s) Black pepper
Cooking Instructions
Heat oven to 350°F. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl; mix lightly but thoroughly. Shape meatloaf mixture into 10×6-inch loaf on the rack of broiler pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes or until the meatloaf is to medium doneness (160°F for beef, 170°F for turkey), until not pink in center and juices show no pink color. Let stand 5 minutes before slicing. Cover and refrigerate leftovers promptly and use within two days, or wrap airtight and freeze up to 3 months.
(a little substitution never hurt anyone)
I only had 1 pound of ground beef in the spirit of substitution, so I added a little more oatmeal. I also upped the garlic a bit, chopped a medium onion that I didn’t measure, and reduced the catsup a little. I baked it in a loaf pan instead of on a rack. It turned out just great, and the kids ate it up.
Basic meatloaf with mixed vegetables, country-style potatoes, and a roll.
Adjusting to life in a pandemic has had its challenging moments. My well-established habits and routines have been tossed aside to accommodate a new way of living. Mask wearing and 20-second handwashes have become standard operating procedures for me, as have been daily checks of COVID morbidity and mortality numbers.
The pandemic has converted our empty nest household into a residence of 5 adults, only one who is working. The reality of our increased population has forced many changes, including the return of a nightly family dinner. Eating dinner with my wife and three of my children has been a joy. However, it has also included the additional stress of making dinner for five regularly.
When our kids were younger, my wife was a stay at home mom and our principal cook. She returned part-time to the paid workforce when the kids were in middle school, and I started to cook some of our family dinners when she was working late. Being a multi-tasker, I decided to teach my kids how to cook and began “Cooking With Dad Thursdays.” Every Thursday, the kids and I planned, purchased, cooked, and ate dinner. Naturally, we also cleaned up our mess. My goal was to make my kids competent in this vital life skill. Little did I know that I would call upon their services in 2020.
Cooking with my kids makes meal prep a lot more fun.
As I noted above, all of us try to eat dinner together. My wife continues to make several meals a week, and we usually order carry-out on Fridays. That leaves 3-4 dinner preparations that I commit to making. When the kids and I did “Cooking With Dad Thursday,” the sky was the limit. Steak with all of the trimmings? No problem. I was working 60 hours a week, and I didn’t flinch with expensive grocery bills. However, things have changed. I am no longer a wage earner, my kids are adults, and grocery prices have escalated. Meal planning and preparation could be an expensive and time-consuming chore. Luckily, I have wonderful and adaptive kids who almost always help me cook. Cooking with them is fun, but meals need to be simple and reasonably priced. I have a secret weapon to accomplish these goals. I grew up in the 60s, and my mom cooked for seven people. She was a great cook, and I have fond memories of the meals that she made. Many of her meals were designed to feed a crowd efficiently and economically.
Warning!
Sixties cooking does not comply with the eating standards of 2020. If your family only eats salads, stop reading now.
The secrets of 60s cooking
Using basic ingredients
In the 1960s, most cooks had a larder filled with basic ingredients. Flour, sugar, eggs, and the like. Basic ingredients allow for maximum flexibility when cooking. Cooking from scratch can be nearly as efficient as making prepared foods once you have gained some experience.
Using prepared foods
In the 1960s, packaged foods were also popular. Cake mixes, tubes of crescent rolls, canned condensed soups, and many other items were (and are) relatively inexpensive. Thoughtful use of these foods can ease your cooking burden.
Don’t want to make a white sauce? Try a can of condensed cream of mushroom soup. Need to make a quick dessert? A brownie mix is cheap; you don’t have to remember if you have baking chocolate on hand. Want to boost a boring main dish? Crack open a tube of crescent rolls. The options are endless.
Using frozen foods
Some frozen foods, like vegetables, are cheap and good. Take advantage of them. The more “prepared” they are, the more expensive they are. Buying frozen broccoli is dirt cheap, but it is more expensive if it has a “butter sauce.” Forgo the latter and add your own pat of butter to save some money.
Substitute when needed
In the 60s, it was common to modify a recipe based on what you had on hand. If you didn’t have one ingredient, it was perfectly OK to substitute a similar item. No green onions? Try some finely chopped regular onions. You don’t have a particular spice? Try another one that compliments the meat that you are using. No fresh garlic? Try some of the stuff in a jar or use garlic powder. Don’t have tomato sauce? Try using a can of tomato soup. Your results will vary with the number and types of items that you switch out, but with reasonable care, you will end up with a good dinner.
Keep it simple
In the 1960s, it was common to eat one-pot meals. Casseroles, soups, stews, and the like were easily augmented with a simple side dish. Combination foods are also cheaper to make as they use less meat.
Clean as you go
I mentioned that my mom was a great cook. However, she was a messy cook who seemed to use every pot, pan, and bowl to prepare a meal. If you want to ease your cooking stress, clean up as you go.
By the time that we are ready to sit down for dinner, all of our preparation dishes are washed and put away. When we are done eating, everyone clears the table, one person washes the table, and someone else loads the dishwasher. A clean kitchen is a happy kitchen.
I thought that I would share some of my classic recipes with you. Although I have modified many of them, most were created by other cooks. Thank you to those individuals!
Meal options
Breakfast for dinner
Making breakfast food for dinner is quick, cheap, and delicious. Ham and eggs, pancakes with sausage, or waffles, and bacon are some breakfast foods that we sometimes have for dinner.
Waffles and Bacon
We usually make our bacon on a jelly roll pan lined with aluminum foil. Place the bacon in single slices on the sheet and bake at 400 F for 15-20 minutes, or until done.
You can use Bisquick or a pancake mix for waffles, but I think these scratch ones are easy to make and taste better. If you don’t have a waffle iron, you can probably pick up one cheap from a resale shop (like Goodwill). Ours is over 25 years old, but it still does the trick. Here is my waffle recipe.
Two eggs
2 cups flour
½ cup melted butter
One ¾ cups milk
1 T sugar
4 t baking powder
¼ t salt
Heat the waffle iron and spray with cooking spray. Mix the ingredients into a batter and add enough mixture to the hot waffle iron to fill the cavity (but not so much that you are dripping everywhere). Waffles are done when less steam comes off of the iron. You can keep them hot in a warming oven until serving, or pass them out as they are made.
Homemade waffles taste so much better than frozen ones.
Simple Spaghetti
I debated about posting this recipe, as it is so simple. However, there may be people out there who have never cooked, and this recipe is easy, filling, and delicious.
Boil spaghetti following the package directions. When done, drain and return to the pot. Add a tablespoon or two of butter to the drained spaghetti to keep the strands separated.
While you are making the spaghetti, brown about a pound of hamburger (or other ground meat) in a separate pot, drain off the fat while carefully retaining the browned meat in the pot. Add a jar of spaghetti sauce to the ground meat and heat. We tend to go with inexpensive brands like Ragu and Prego. You can be as creative or straightforward with your sauce as you like. Add some parmesan cheese, a little red wine, a bit more oregano, a small can of mushrooms, whatever suits your fancy.
We dump the sauce into the cooked spaghetti pot and mix it up like a casserole.
Along with the spaghetti, we will serve a tossed salad and some garlic bread. Commercial garlic bread is good, but it is easy to make some from scratch. Just melt some butter and mix in some chopped garlic (or even garlic powder). Brush the mixture on some decent bread and “toast” the bread butter side up on a cookie sheet in the oven (350F-400F), removing the bread when it is nicely toasted.
Beef Tips in the Instantpot (or any pressure cooker)
Beef tips usually use sirloin, but we go cheap and use stew meat. You can also use cut-up round steak or pot roast.
In a large Ziplock bag add:
3 T flour
2 t steak seasoning (optional)
2 t garlic powder
1 t onion powder
½ t salt
½ t pepper
Add 1-2 pounds of cubed steak and shake to coat the steak in the mixture.
Place the Instantpot in saute mode, add some oil, then brown the steak in batches. Remove the meat.
Add to the hot Instantpot:
1-2 T oil
One chopped onion
Lightly brown the onion
Then add:
Three cloves chopped garlic (or some garlic powder)
⅓ cup red wine (or water)
12 oz beef broth (you can also use low sodium bouillon and water)
1 T Worcestershire sauce
½ t ground thyme (No thyme? Try oregano).
Return the meat to the pot and cook under high pressure for 35 minutes. Let the pressure come down for 10 minutes after 35 minutes of cooking time. Carefully release the pressure and open the lid. Place the pot back into saute mode and wait until the mixture is bubbling. Take a couple of tablespoons of cornstarch and mix with a couple of tablespoons of water. Stream this mixture into the Instant pot whisking as you go. Cook for a few minutes and then adjust seasonings. I usually have to add more salt, garlic powder, and pepper. A squirt or two of hot sauce doesn’t hurt either.
I often serve this dish with bread/rolls, a vegetable, and a starch. If I’m using rice as my starch, I’ll make a lot more to use it for the next recipe.
Beef tips made in the InstantPot.
Mike’s “Sort Of” Chinese Fried Rice.
The secret to good fried rice is to use cooked rice that is a few days old. Freshly made rice will result in a sticky mess. I tend to keep leftover rice uncovered in the fridge and use it about 2-3 days later.
Fried rice is a recipe that you can modify to your heart’s content.
Heat a wok or large frying pan and add some oil. Saute 3-4 sliced green onions and then add chopped ginger root (1t to 1 T), and chopped garlic (3-4 cloves).
Add some meat (½ to 1 lb), cut into small pieces. I like using chicken. Cook in small batches while you continuously stir and flip the meat using a wide utensil. Make sure you don’t overcook the meat. Remove the meat from the pan.
Add more oil if needed, and then add your cooked rice. How much? Around 4-6 cups are about right. Keep the rice in motion until it is heated.
Push the rice to the pan’s sides and add a couple of scrambled uncooked eggs in the center of the pan. Cook the eggs until they are almost done and then mix them with the rice mixture.
Take a bag of frozen vegetables (peas/carrots, stir-fry mix, etc.), and heat in the microwave for about ½ of their cooking time. Add the vegetables to the rice mixture and stir to distribute. Return the chicken and heat a bit more. Mix in some soy sauce until the rice is the color that you like.
Add salt and possibly pepper to taste. Personally, I also like to add a shot or two of hot sauce.
Fried Rice.
Super Easy Quiche
One large pie crust
Six large eggs
3/4 cup milk
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup cooked ham cut into small cubes
1 1/2 cups shredded cheese divided (any meltable cheese, but not mozzarella)
Four tablespoons chopped green onions
Mix liquids and seasoning together. Put green onions, ham, and 1 C of the cheese into the pie crust. Pour the liquid mixture into the pie crust and top with remaining ½ C of cheese. Bake at 375 F for 35-40 minutes or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Let rest at least 10 minutes before cutting. I like to serve this quiche with homemade bran muffins and a green vegetable.
Super easy quiche.
Bran Muffins
1/2 cup oil
1 cup of sugar
2 eggs
2 cups buttermilk (or 2 T vinegar into a scant 2 C milk-let it sit for a few minutes before adding to the dry ingredients)
4 cups Raisin Bran cereal
2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
Mix ingredients and let the mixture stand for at least 45 minutes. Spoon into greased muffin tins and bake at 400 F for 12-15 minutes (or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the muffin’s center). Cool for at least 10 minutes before removing muffins from the tin.
Easy to make and delicious bran muffins.
I hope that these ideas reduce some of your cooking stress and turn the drudgery of cooking into a fun activity.
In the 1960s, Swiss-born psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the “five stages of grief” based on her work with dying patients. In case you have forgotten, they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Although some aspects of this work are now in question, she did bring to the forefront the idea that we work through significant changes of life in stages. Those stages may be different from event to event, and from person to person.
In many ways, I have gone through various stages of loss during the COVID crisis. I feel I was in a stage of denial at the start of the crisis. Before the Illinois stay-at-home order, I traveled to New Mexico convincing myself that the trip was safe since (at that time) there were no reported COVID cases in that state.
During the early phase of stay-at-home, I entered a fear stage fueled mostly by the panic I witnessed around me. It was impossible to buy toilet paper, then paper towels, then facial tissues. Everyday pharmacy items such as rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, and ibuprofen became purchases that were only available at exorbitant prices on Amazon. Essential foods like flour, pasta, oatmeal, and rice were impossible to buy.
I had five adults living at home, and I’m a person who takes caretaking seriously. I did my best to adapt to other foods. Tom helped out by finding a big bag of flour for me, and I even bought a sack of pinto beans, “just in case.” My preparedness can be a point of ridicule in my family, but I had to be true to myself. I am hardly perfect, but I have become successful in life by moving past what other people think that I should do or what I should be.
I had a depressed phase around that time. Although I’m an introvert, I still need contact with others in my life. Luckily, I was able to safely expand my social connections and experiences to lift my down mood.
I moved into an “approximate” stage where I tried to “simulate” what my life was like before the pandemic. COVID Easter, COVID birthdays, COVID Mother’s Day. I pretended that I could have the same pre-COVID experience by recreating those special days sans outside adventures and people. In many ways, this strategy worked, but in some ways, it did not. I discovered the latter fact when I did the self-exploration that I chronicled in last week’s post.
Life seems to be moving into a new normal, and there doesn’t seem to be a clear path back to the way it was. It has been exhausting for me to rationalize that by (fill in the blank) date, I would once again be able to do those things that I used to do. As the numbers of infections and deaths have escalated, I have moved into a new stage of acceptance. I am no longer trying to approximate my former life. Instead, I am trying to live life.
I had an unstructured day. My friend, Tom, was busy, and Julie and the kids were doing their things. I spent the morning writing and making phone calls, but by the early afternoon, I was feeling unsettled. What I wanted to do was to take some street photography, but in this new era, that wasn’t a very practical solution. Instead, I went to our local Herrick Lake forest preserve. I have photographed Herrick Lake many times; there are only so many different shots that you can take. I thought that I had taken all of them, but did I? I decided that I would up the creative game by shooting only in black and white. Because of this restriction, I had to view the landscape in a very different way. My creativity was sparked.
The forest preserve is close to my sister, Carol’s house. I have been calling her daily, but I missed seeing her in person. Was I only going to have phone contact with her from now on? Carol is older than I am, and she is rightfully concerned about continuing her excellent health. I phoned her and asked her if she would be comfortable seeing me in person. She said she would be as long as I could maintain a social distance from her. We had a delightful time as we sat on her patio, masks on, and 8 feet apart.
On my return home I got a call from my friend, Tom. He was at a project close to my home, and he wondered if I could stop by. Tom is in my “bubble” of contacts, so there was no problem stopping by and giving him a hand with his job.
At dinner, I reflected on my day, noting how full it was and how much I enjoyed it. I didn’t feel like I was trying to pretend that it was a pre-COVID day; it was an enjoyable day.
My daughter Gracie sent out a group text to our immediate family, asking us if we wanted to have a 4th of July party. Julie and I had already planned to have a barbeque, but Gracie wanted to expand on that idea. She wanted to make some treats, play yard games, and have a bonfire. I thought it was a great idea.
Grace made some desserts, Will offered his frisbee and “Spikeball” game, Julie and I took over various dinner making tasks, Kathryn did some cleanup, and Will and I built a fire. I didn’t feel like I was substituting; I felt like I was experiencing a good day.
It is possible that this pandemic will have the same culture-changing power as the 911 event had on our country. Things may never be the same. I was willing to put my life on hold for months, but I’m not ready to place myself in suspended animation. Yet, I am acutely aware that to go back to pre-COVID behaviors would be both dangerous and foolhardy.
Life requires continual adjustment. There are things that I could do at age 30 that I’m unable to do at 67. With that said, there are things that I can do at 67 that I could not do at age 30. My goal has always been to live the best life that I can in any situation. I need to apply that same logic to my current life.
I have always loved nature, and I have always loved being in the country. I have taken trips where I am living in a space that is smaller than my walk-in closet. Places where the nearest Walmart is 4 hours away. Areas where there is no cell phone coverage. I have traveled to these places deliberately and savored the simplicity of my life. I didn’t feel deprived during those times; I felt liberated. I focused on what I had and what I could do instead of what I didn’t have or what I couldn’t do. I was happy living my life in the here and now. It was great.
I know that we will eventually develop a vaccine, and I’ll be the first person to get it. However, I don’t know if life will be the same as prior to the pandemic. I am determined to move forward and to live life. What can you do to enjoy your new “today?’
Some black and white shots of Herrick Lake.
Grilling on the 4th of July.Yard games.Our 4th of July “feast.”Frisbee toss!Grace (with the help of others) made some “cake balls”Will and I made a fire.We even had a sing-along.
My writing process is simple. I base my post on whatever I happen to be thinking about, and what I am thinking about is often stimulated by world events or personal activities. I never seem to lack for a topic. However, that appears to be changing. My life has become so routine that new activities are limited, and exciting writing topics are on the decline. COVID-19 stories dominate the news, and I have written quite a few posts connected to that topic. But how much can I write about COVID-19? Hold on to your seatbelts; here is another post.
The current health crisis has dramatically changed my lifestyle. I’m not bored, and I’m still productive. However, a routine day is, well…very routine. Yesterday, I walked to my friend’s townhouse project. We chatted for a bit before I took his MacBook Pro and started to write a blog post for his construction website. Tom kindly went to get bagel sandwiches for breakfast. I was left alone to write about home remodeling, a subject where I can’t claim expertise. It’s not that I’m unable to put a coherent story together, I’m more concerned that I’ll phrase something incorrectly and somehow embarrass my friend to his more knowledgable readers. With that said, I wrote the post to which I added the construction photos that I had taken over the last few days.
Writing Tom’s blog post on a makeshift desk.
Before Tom had a chance to review my writing, his friend Wess arrived. Wess is a talented carpenter who has worked with Tom for decades. He was “volunteering” his Saturday to help Tom remove a large bay window, that space being repurposed for a sliding patio door. Tom and Wes usually converse in Polish, a language that I have no comprehension of. Recently, Wes has made an effort to talk in English, which has been much appreciated, and it allows me to join in.
Wes and Tom discussing the project’s next phase. It is amazing what you can learn about something by just watching and listening.
The morning transitioned into the afternoon, and I headed back home and emersed myself into one of my obsessive interests, technology. Julie had given me a pair of AirPods at the beginning of the year, and I love them. When I become interested in a topic, I want to know everything about it. In this case, I was interested in the difference between my costly device and much cheaper clone products. I understand that most would find such an exploration utterly dull, but it held my concentration for hours.
Spending hours becoming an “expert” in Bluetooth earbuds.
After a few telephone calls to loved ones, it was time for dinner; the offering was Domino’s pizza. Domino’s has a low ranking on my pizza desirability chart, but my kids love it. The group’s lively conversation quickly extinguished any negative feelings about the pizza dinner. As a family, we have worked hard to eat dinner together and to focus on interacting with each other. Our meal was filled with talk, laughter, and a lot of kidding.
Julie suggested that we all play a game, but board games are not my thing. We reached a compromise; I took a shower, and the others played a game. Later that evening, we were glued to the family room TV, rewatching a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica. We viewed the show with the same enthusiasm as some might when watching a football game. The show concluded it was time for bed.
I took a shower while the family played a game.
A perfectly routine day.
I have had disturbing dreams as of late. I wouldn’t call them nightmares, but they are unsettling. A recent one had me repeating both graduate and medical school, as I wondered if I could still take on these arduous tasks. Such dreams are a window to my subconscious and suggest hidden stress to me.
I pondered the question of stress this morning as I sat in the big chair in my study. I contemplated my current life and asked myself, “What is wrong? What is missing?” I centered myself, closed my eyes, and opened my mind to a stream of consciousness. At first, my mind was blank, but it soon was flooded with images and sounds. These are some of the ideas that flowed over me.
Despite talking to my siblings daily, I was missing them terribly. Before COVID, we had developed many in-person activities, “Sibling Breakfast,” “Sibling Lunch,” and random visits for coffee and conversation. I longed to see them in person.
Although I see my friend Tom nearly every day, I missed the spontaneous and crazy things that we did before the pandemic—driving into Chicago at sunrise just to have breakfast at our favorite greasy spoon, going on camping adventures and road trips, exploring locations.
Tom and his son-photo from a camping adventure.
My friend John had invited me to spend a few days at his Florida home. Julie and I had booked a flight before the pandemic but had to cancel it months ago. Speaking of trips, Julie had I started to go on them as a couple. We would find a cheap airfare to somewhere, and the two of us would explore our destination. I missed traveling.
Massive engines from one of the stages of the Saturn rocket. Exploring Houston on a random trip.Discovery Vegas with Julie.
Three of my children have returned home, two from college and one from the Peace Corps. My college kids had to complete their spring semesters on-line. My Peace Corps daughter had to leave Africa and a teaching job that she loved. Their loss makes me feel powerless.
William showing us his campus.
Last year I took Violet the campervan on many adventures. She currently sits idle in my driveway. There is no place to go during this explosion of infection. I feel guilty about Violet. I feel like I’m letting her down. I invested a lot of time and money into her. Once a symbol of my retirement freedom, the pandemic has reduced her into an icon of what I can’t do.
Violet the campervan sits idle.
I am a photographer, and I have continued to do photography work. However, I have a keen interest in landscape and cityscape photography. However, it isn’t feasible to travel to a town or bucolic pasture to photograph these subjects during this time.
A door from an abandoned college that I found in a small town west of Chicago.
I’m not much of a shopper, but I miss the ability to go to a store for a single item. I now limit my shopping to only grocery stores, which I go to once a week. Trips are currently done as purposefully and quickly as possible. There is no time to try or discover exciting new products.
I miss my daily walks to Starbucks and the quick but pleasant chats that I had with my favorite baristas and the early morning coffee crowd.
I miss my walks to Starbucks where I would chat with friends and write.
I miss going to the movies, and “sneaking” in a bag of popcorn.
I miss going to cheap restaurants—places where I could sit down and enjoy my food without the worry of preparation or clean up.
I miss making new friends. I miss family parties. I miss catching up with my cousins. I miss getting dressed and going to church on Sunday. I miss the act of standing next to a neighbor when chatting with them on the street. I miss the smell of a campfire. I miss… I miss so much.
Joining hands to give thanks last Thanksgiving.a snapshot taken at Christmastime at church.Rain and umbrellas. Camping with the cousins.Christmas in Minnesota.
I explored all of these thoughts and pondered how they were connected. Many contained a grain of spontaneity and a sense of a future. What would I do tomorrow? How can I plan for my next activity? Before COVID, I could anticipate an adventure with Tom, or a trip with Julie, or an upcoming photo project. This has changed with the routine regularity of my current life.
I like to shake hands. I want to give hugs. I like to push my creativity. I like to feel free. I want to feel safe. I like to be responsible, and I love being mischievous.
Activities that I do have an impact on who I am. I am in the process of grieving over who I no longer am. My world has changed in a matter of months. I want my old life back, but I may have to accept the ways things are now. I think this is the conflict that fuels my sense of “missing.” and “missing” is just another name for loss. With loss comes grieving.
Dear reader, I have worked hard to simulate those things that I can no longer do. However, a simulation is like saccharine, still sweet, but with a bitter aftertaste.
As the crisis has continued, I have tried to keep my interests alive. I do order food from those restaurants where I formally dined-in. I have made an effort to take creative photos. I call my sisters and connect with my friends in many ways. It is all good, but these good things still have the aftertaste of a synthetic solution.
That is to be expected. Will life return to normal, or will I need to accept my current situation as the new normal? Either way, I plan to make the most of it. Every day is a gift, never to be repeated. I can’t waste today pining over what I have lost. I have to accept my feelings as real, and I need to respect them. However, I cannot submit to them. I have to live in the present and plan for a new future. That will be my effort.
I was preparing to spend a few days with Ralph at his summer home, which is about an hour west of me. I tapped his address into my iPhone, put the phone into Violet the campervan’s phone holder, and started my journey. Since I was bringing dinner, I made a quick detour to the Fresh Thyme Market, a small grocery store just down the street. Being lazy, I left the phone in its holder during my grocery adventure. When I returned to the camper, I tossed steaks, watermelon, and salad into the 12-volt fridge and hopped into the driver’s seat to continue my journey. I looked up at my phone and saw a bright fluorescent green vertical line across the screen. Crap, my phone’s display was busted! Over the short time that I visited Ralph, that single line morphed into multiple lines making reading anything on the screen impossible.
On my return home, I investigated my repair options. I contacted Apple customer support, who told me that the screen needed to be replaced and that the estimated cost for the repair would be an astounding $560.00! My iPhone X is three years old, but I’m not ready to buy a new one, so I explored aftermarket options and found a store in Naperville that would replace the screen for $150.00… a much more realistic price. They said that they could replace the display in under an hour, which sealed the deal.
There were no surprises with the repair, but I was surprised by what I saw in the small and cramped shop. Both technicians were mask-free, as were three customers. One of the customers was sitting in a chair waiting for a repair suggesting that his exposure time in the store was significant.
Yesterday I took Violet in for routine service at my local Dodge dealer. The staff was wearing masks (although several had their noses sticking out). However, two customers were mask-free. In Illinois, we are required to wear masks in confined spaces like retail stores and shops, so why were all of these people ignoring the law?
When I read the news, I see photos of people in bars, churches, and nightclubs all shoulder to shoulder and all mask free. I recently saw pictures of several political rallies where both the candidate and the majority of the audience were bare-faced.
We are in the midst of a worldwide disease pandemic. Entire countries have shut down, almost half of a million people have died worldwide, and one hundred and twenty-four thousand souls have been lost in the US alone. That is more US deaths than during the entire First World War.
We are gaining more knowledge about this illness. A few medical treatments are starting to emerge that may help some patients. We are getting a better understanding of the best treatment practices. Worldwide efforts to develop a vaccine are in hyperdrive. However, we are nowhere near a cure.
Countries have tackled the spread of this disease in different ways. Their varied approaches have given us a window into what works and what doesn’t contain the virus. Unsurprisingly, the most beneficial methods are those that we have known about and used for over 100 years. Those methods include social distancing and isolation, hand washing, contact tracing, and wearing a mask when you can’t control social distance. Regions that have successfully implemented these changes have had greater success at containing the virus than places that have been laxer.
In the US, we have had conflicting information concerning the virus and how that impacts opening the economy. Also, there seems to be a stream of half-baked recommendations that confuse the general population. A YouTube video from a Michigan family practice doc that foolishly recommended washing fruits and vegetables in soapy water had over 20 million views in its first week. Even the premier source of infectious disease information, the CDC, erroneously told citizens not to wear masks, only to have to backpedal on that wrong information.
Any competent physician knows that wearing an appropriate mask can help prevent the transmission of disease both to and from the mask wearer. Most citizens don’t have access to medical-grade masks and have to make do with “dust” style hardware store masks or homemade cloth masks. These masks dramatically reduce the spread of COVID-19 from the wearer and depending on the composition of the mask, offer some protection to the user from getting the virus from an infected individual.
The most contagious places to catch this coronavirus are indoor locations, with poor air circulation. The higher the density of people in these places, the higher the chance of infection. Indoor parties, crowded bars, packed in-house church services, and the like are high risk and should be avoided at this time. However, there are other places like grocery stores that can’t be avoided by most. That is why everyone must wear a mask when you can’t control social distance. If everyone wears a mask, we can dramatically reduce the rates of viral spread. This is not a theoretical idea; it is a proven fact. Wearing a mask is a no brainer. So why are people actively refusing to do this?
Before I explore this question, I need to examine other phenomena present in this country. We have lost nuance, and have become a country of absolutes. For instance, some have taken social isolation to the extreme, and others have entirely cast it to the wind. We have developed an “us vs. them” mentality when it comes to many things in daily life. We have lost the ability to work together. We have become more concerned with personal gain over what benefits our greater society. We have developed a culture of mistrust. We have become an “all-in” society. If someone believes in one tenant that a particular group espouses, then they are expected to become a follower of all of the other ideologies that the group promotes. We have assumed a “contest” view of life that supports that the only way one group can prosper is by decimating another group, which then becomes the opposition. We believe that the ends justify the means, no matter how dangerous the ways are.
As a Christian, I find such splitting behaviors abhorrent. As a psychiatrist, I understand them to be destructive and dangerous. These ideologies play into many of our decisions, including our willingness or unwillingness to wear a mask. The question is, how do these beliefs and other factors cause us to take a position that is so contrary to our well being?
Masks are uncomfortable, that is a fact. They are hot; they fog up your glasses; they make it difficult to be understood. As a physician, I can tell you that just about everyone quickly adjusts to these inconveniences. But, yes, they do suck.
When I was researching this post, I came across articles that noted that people refused to wear masks because they felt that wearing one made them look weak. This is one of those reasons that are hard for me to comprehend. Why would a mask make anyone look weak? Wearing one makes them look responsible, and their actions help the wellness of their fellow citizens. In my mind, mask wearers are strong and patriotic.
Wearing a mask highlights that things are not back to normal. This is undoubtedly true, but the reality is that things are NOT normal. Denial isn’t the name for the longest river in Africa (…old AA joke).
Some people feel that wearing a mask is anti-God. How masks and God are connected is anyone’s guess. I know that early on, some religious leaders said that God would protect their churches and congregations, which may play into this belief. I also watched a video of citizens voicing their concerns about mandatory mask-wearing during a Miami city council meeting. One individual said that the council was doing the work of the devil by requiring masks. The citizen seemed firm in her belief but did not give any evidence as to why she held them.
The wearing of a mask has taken on political implications. Statistically, Democrats are more likely to wear a mask than Republicans. Masks seem to have become weaponized in this regard. I recently viewed photos of a rally in an Arizona church that was packed with over 3000 young people. They were shoulder to shoulder, and I estimate that the number of mask wearers was under 5%. I hope that this meeting doesn’t turn out to be the source of a super-spreader infection, but that certainly could happen. Placing politics over health is a real tragedy.
Some people strongly feel that wearing a mask is a personal choice. “If I get sick and die, it is my choice,” they imply. As individuals, we are allowed to do stupid things, as long as they don’t impact others. We can smoke cigarettes, which are known to cause many diseases, but we can no longer smoke in public places because this would harm others. Shouldn’t that same logic apply to wearing masks?
Some don’t wear masks because they think that COVID-19 is overblown or a hoax. Some groups have promoted these false ideas, and a person’s local experience additionally amplifies them. I have heard people say, “I don’t know of anyone who has gotten COVID-19,” as if this limited information can be generalized to the entire population. Alabama Governor Kay Ivy famously said, “Y’all, we are not Louisiana, we are not New York state, we are not California. Right now is not the time to order people to shelter in place.” I guess the idea was that the virus was somehow not impacting Alabama at that moment, so WTF. Sadly, if you take a look at the number of Alabama cases, they are on a steep increase. These numbers would likely have been significantly lower if there had been better direction from officials in that state.
Some refuse to wear masks for reasons that seem entirely bizarre. Watching the same Miami city council meeting, I witnessed one furious man, saying that he would defend our flag to the death, implying that wearing masks was somehow going to destroy our country. This, along with the idea that Satanists are promoting masks, just seems crazy. It is challenging to explain crazy.
Some are afraid that wearing a mask damages our economy. Well, this is sort of right… but indirectly. The global pandemic is harming our economy, and wearing a mask reminds us of that pandemic. Wearing a mask may make certain activities more complicated, like going out for dinner on a date. However, the more we control the virus, the sooner our economy will return to normal.
So what is the solution?
We have not had a unified message about the necessity of wearing a mask. This needs to be done on all levels of government and from both sides of the aisle. We know that wearing masks can reduce the number of infections as well as the number of deaths due to COVID-19. All people who have a voice need to be echoing this reality.
We need to emphasize the benefits of wearing a mask with transparent statistics. One study showed that if everyone wore masks, the rate of infection would drop to 1/12th of a population where no one wore a mask. As an example, let’s say that 100 individuals contract the virus in a non-mask wearing group. In a statistically identical group of mask wearers, only eight individuals would get sick. Staying well benefits the economy.
Similarly, we need to publicize situations and cases where lack of safeguards, including masks, has caused outbreaks, and we need to personalize these situations. It is one thing to say that 53% of participants became ill when they attended a choir practice in Washington. However, these numbers would be much more compelling if actual people told their stories about this event. I am in no way trying to exploit victims of this disease, but I’m confident that many individuals would gladly speak up about their COVID experience if they felt that it would help others. Numbers always have more impact when they are attached to a relatable situation or person.
We have to model good behavior. Our officials should all be wearing masks in public settings, and they all should be practicing social distancing. “Do as I say, not as I do,” doesn’t fly.
We need to nationalize standards. Yes, we have guidelines, and yes, a cookie-cutter approach doesn’t work well in a country as vast as the US. However, standards can be customized to accommodate different needs and regions. Let’s say you want to bake a chocolate cake. You will have the best results if you follow a standard recipe. However, you can customize your results to fit your needs. A little more chocolate? A little less sugar? A different frosting? Any reasonable changes will still result in a good cake. Imagine a scenario where 100 people need to bake 100 chocolate cakes, but they aren’t given a recipe. Some will have baking knowledge; others won’t. In the end, there will be many different cakes, but many of those will be inedible.
The cost of non-compliance must be emphasized. What is the actual price to the economy if we can’t get this virus under control? What is the emotional damage of losing a loved one? We need reasonable guidelines, and these can change as we gain more knowledge. It is unreasonable to expect everyone to stay behind closed doors, but it is foolish to open up the country altogether. Our leaders need to not only inform us but to re-emphasize what we can and can’t do. We were able to mobilize our country during WWII by using various methods that emphasized safety, patriotism, and sacrifice for the greater good. Many feel that the WWII generation was our greatest generation ever. People think proudly about those individuals and their sacrifices. How is it that we are divided over a potentially more deadly crisis? This does not have to be the case. We need leaders who can lead and have the ability to place the needs of the greater society above short-term gains.
Peace!
Mike
My broken phone got me thinking about mask non-compliance.Some masks are better than others, but any mask is better than no mask!
