In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I have been a FoodSaver user for decades.  My last post outlined the benefits of vacuum sealing, and I also explored the different types of vacuum sealers that are available for home users.  I’m going to continue along this vein in two more posts.  This post is a Q and A post. The next post will attempt to answer the question, “Which sealing system is right for me?”  

I’m basing both of these posts on my decades of experience, as well as quite a bit of research on the topic.

What are the advantages of vacuum sealing?

Vacuum sealing removes most of the air from a thick plastic bag or other vessel.  Air contains oxygen, and by removing oxygen the enclosed food stays fresh longer for several reasons.  

Vacuum sealing can eliminate oxidation, which is the process that turns some cut foods brown, and also causes oily foods, like nuts,  to go rancid.  In addition, oxygen is important for most organisms to live; removing it can prevent or slow down certain microbial growth, and eliminate insect (weevil) infestation.  In addition, moisture is removed along with the air which prevents freezer burn.

Does a vacuum sealer remove all of the air in a vacuum bag?

It is impossible to obtain a 100% vacuum, even with laboratory grade equipment.  A small amount of oxygen remains, so certain organisms, like mold, can still grow if the conditions are just right.  However, mold will grow at a much slower rate under these conditions.

Do all vacuum sealers remove the same amount of air?

No, home channel sealers create less of a vacuum than commercial channel vacuum sealers, which, in turn, create less of a vacuum than a chamber sealer.  Unless you are trying to store food for a very long time this difference is not significant.

Does vacuum sealing prevent food from going bad?

No, it only slows down the spoiling process in properly stored foods.  For instance, a pound of hamburger stored in the fridge will stay fresh longer when it is vacuum packed.  However, if it was left out on a warm counter it would quickly spoil.

Freezer burn is the dehydration of frozen foods caused by damage from ice crystals.  Vacuum sealing reduces ice crystals from forming, and can eliminate freezer burn.

However, certain bacteria don’t require oxygen to live and may “overgrow” in a low oxygen environment.  Some of these bacteria can cause illness. It is not advisable to vacuum pack soft cheeses, as well as a few other foods because of this.

The bottom line is to always use good standard practices when preserving food.  Vacuum sealing is an additional step in food preservation, not the only step. 

What foods vacuum seal well?

Cooked and raw meats and seafood.  Hard cheeses, but not soft cheeses (like ricotta).  Vegetables, with the exception of raw onions, garlic, and mushrooms. However these vegetables can be vacuum packed if cooked or immediately frozen for future meals.  Prepared foods, such as soups, stews, casseroles, and side dishes.  Coffee, and tea.  Flour and corn meal, beans and lentils, and many other foods.

It is also possible to vacuum seal non-food items to preserve them or to keep them dry.

What foods don’t vacuum seal well?

Vacuum sealing soft cheeses may promote a bacteria called Listeria to grow, which can cause illness, so they should not be vacuumed sealed. However, hard cheeses vacuum seal well.  

Vacuum sealing certain raw vegetables, such as garlic, onions, and mushrooms could promote the growth of the bacteria that causes botulism, so they should not be vacuumed sealed.  However, these vegetables are safe to vacuum seal if cut up and then immediately frozen, or cooked (as in a dish) and frozen.  

Soft or fragile foods can be crushed when vacuumed sealed in a bag.  However, they can be successfully sealed if placed in a jar or canister which is placed under a vacuum.  In addition, you can first freeze berries to prevent crushing and then vacuum seal them in a bag.  

What else can a vacuum sealer do? 

A vacuum sealer can vacuum seal meat for sous vide cooking. 

Meat plus a marinade can be placed under a vacuum and will marinate in around 20 minutes.  This is usually done in an accessory container.

What is the most common type of home vacuum sealer?

The majority of home vacuum sealers are the channel (also called  external bag) type.  In these sealers the open end of a  special embossed bag is placed in the machine’s vacuum channel and the sealer is closed.  A vacuum is pulled on the bag.  At a set vacuum level a wire is heated which seals the open end of the bag.  

Are there other types of vacuum sealers available for the home user? 

Yes, there are a number of different systems.  Some use manual or electric hand-held pumps with special Ziploc bags or vacuum canisters.  Others place the vacuum bag inside of a vacuum chamber.  Still others may use a nozzle inserted into the bag to create a vacuum.  Each system has advantages and disadvantages.

Is a channel style vacuum sealer complex?

No, it is a simple machine.  An electric motor powers a vacuum pump which pulls a vacuum on the bag that the operator is sealing.  A sensor determines when the vacuum is sufficient, which triggers a sealing wire to heat up and melt the open end of the bag sealing it.  At that point the process is complete.

What are the advantages of a channel-type vacuum sealer?

Many home-style sealers are affordable and do a good job.  Even prosumer and professional channel type sealers are reasonably priced. They can seal a variety of different sized bags, and you can make bags of any reasonable length out of special vacuum sealer roll material.  

What are the disadvantages of a channel-type sealer?

Channel type sealers use a sucking action which can suck liquids into the machine and damage it.  It is necessary to freeze liquids, like soups, in a separate container and then transfer the frozen food into a vacuum bag to be sealed.  Some people carefully vacuum seal liquids without freezing, but I would not recommend it.

Moist foods, like meats and fish, can ooze juices when vacuumed sealed in a channel-type sealer.  In most cases the small amount of juices will be trapped in the sealer’s channel and won’t damage the machine.  However, the meat juices can contaminate the bag’s sealing area making it difficult for the bag to seal.  Many machines have a “moist” function that extends the sealing time in these situations.  Other options include partially freezing the meat before sealing, or placing a strip of paper towel in the bag between the food and the bag’s sealing area to absorb extra moisture.  

Channel-type sealers require special embossed bags that can be pricey if you buy the brand-name versions. 

Do you have to use brand-specific bags?

I have used generic bags from various manufacturers for many years without problems.  However, I can’t say that newer machines won’t include some sort of bag recognition to force you to buy their particular brand of bag.  This has nothing to do with the quality of generic bags, and everything to do with the profit of a company. Sort of like the way printer manufacturers incorporated print cartridge recognition to prevent people from refilling their printer cartridges. 

Do you recommend a particular generic chamber bag?

I have used bags from a variety of vendors without problems.  

Why not just use the brand-name bags?

The only reason to not use a brand-name bag is cost.  If you shop around you can find generic bags and rolls that are roughly one-fourth the cost of their brand-name version placing generic bags at a price point similar to a Ziploc bag.  You are more likely to preserve a wider variety of foods if the bags are cheaper.  If a brand-name bag costs over fifty cents you may think twice about vacuum sealing a half of an avocado.  However, if it only costs twelve cents you are more likely to do so.

Are there any differences in chamber-bags that I should be aware of?

Many bags are 3 mil in thickness, which is fine for most uses.  Some bags are thicker, for instance 4 mil, and they would provide a greater barrier from the outside environment.  I have never had a reason to use a thicker bag in my decades of vacuum sealing.  However, I could imagine some case scenarios.  For instance, a hunter who freezes large amounts of meat which he will store for a number of years.  That meat could be better preserved using a thicker bag. 

Have channel-type sealers changed over time?

The basic concept and components have not changed, but the materials used have.  I have an original FoodSaver (launched in the late 1980s) as well as a FoodSaver Compact (launched in the 1990s). 

The original FoodSaver’s components are more robust than the FoodSaver Compact.  However, both machines have significantly larger power transformers and motors than current models. Smaller components may lead to a shorter appliance life span. 

Newer FoodSaver models also have more electronic circuitry. This allows for additional features, like programmed sealing cycles (dry/moist), and vacuum levels (regular/gentle). However, circuit boards and their components add another point of failure.  

Some higher-end consumer models will have motorized features, like automatic bag loading.

Do I need all of the new features?

No, if a vacuum sealer can pull a vacuum on a bag and then seal it, it is doing its job.  Nothing else is needed.  

Are there some features that could be useful?

The answer is subjective. You do you.

Here are a few features that I think may be useful.

A moist sealing setting may be useful when packaging moist foods like meat. However, there are a number of work-arounds if you don’t have this function.

An accessory port may be useful if you plan on sealing canisters, Mason jars, or special Ziploc vacuum bags. However, this feature is completely unnecessary if you only plan on sealing vacuum bags.

A bag cutter may be useful if you use bag rolls instead of premade bags. It is not needed if you only use premade bags or if you can cut with a pair of scissors. Some machines with bag cutters also have a bag storage area, which is a convenience.  However, this also makes the machines bulkier.  Also, the storage areas often limit bag rolls to be no larger than 20’.  You can buy rolls that are 50’, 100’, and even 150’, but they wouldn’t fit into a consumer-level machine. 

A pulse function Allows you to pulse the vacuum pump in bursts. This can be useful if you have a soft item and you don’t want to crush it as you can stop the process before the bag is maximally evacuated.  Conversely, some sealers will have a gentle option, which performs a similar function.  Other machines will allow you to press “Stop” or “Seal,” which will stop the vacuuming and immediately seal the bag.

Is there a difference between lower cost and higher cost machines from the same brand line.

As far as I can tell the machines use very similar vacuum components.  Additional costs may give you more features, like a motorized bag feed, or a permanently attached accessory hose.  In addition, you may get cosmetic enhancements, like a thin piece of stainless steel over a plastic shell. 

Some companies may make machines that are specially designed for a purpose, and they will be different from base models.  FoodSaver has a GameSaver line that has a number of features desirable for hunters who need to process an entire animal in one session, and Nesco’s top-of-the-line VS-12 features a double vacuum pump and a double sealing strip which allows faster and more secure bag sealing. Both of these models would be of the prosumer variety.

Professional level machines are built to last.  Plastic is replaced with metal, and motors, pumps, and power supplies are much more robust.  Many professional machines have cooling fans that allow them to run longer without overheating.  These machines are big, bulky, industrial looking, and designed for work. However, for the average home user they are overkill and too big for a standard kitchen.

What is a seal?

When you close a bag with a unit’s heat bar you seal it.  A premade bag is open on one end, so to close it requires one seal.  A bag made from a roll has to be sealed on both ends, so that would require two seals.  A unit that can perform 20 seals would allow you to process 20 premade bags, or 10 roll bags before it needed to cool down.  In addition, many consumer and prosumer level machines advise a 15-60 second “cool down” period between sealing every bag.

In consumer machines the seal times are fixed, and with repetitive seals the bar will get hotter and hotter.  Eventually it will melt the bag to the point of cutting the bag with the seal bar.  More professional machines may allow the user to either set the sealing time or they will sense the temperature of the sealing bar and automatically adjust the bag fusion accordingly. 

How long can I continuously run my vacuum sealer?

Many consumer machines will want you to wait at least 15-60 seconds (depending on the model) between sealings to prevent the sealing bar from overheating. Some units have built in circuitry that monitors and adjusts the temperature of the sealing bar and eliminates the “wait” restriction.

There is usually a limit as to how many bags that you can seal in a row.  Often that number is about 20 to 30 seals for a consumer-level machine.  After your machine’s recommended number you should allow it to rest for 15-20 minutes so its components can cool down. For the normal consumer, this restriction is not a problem. 

Prosumer machines vary.  The FoodSaver GameSaver machine can do 80 seals before it requires a cool down. Other machines may allow even more seals. For instance LEM’s prosumer model can do up to 250 seals before it needs to rest. 

Professional machines can do hundreds of seals, or hours of use before they need a break. Some of these machines intelligently reduce the heat on the sealing bar to prevent overheating.  Others allow you to adjust the sealing time, which accomplishes the same goal. It is common for a professional machine to allow for over 500 seals (or 5 hours up time) before they need a cool down period.  Some machines can do over 1000 seals (or 10 hours run time) before they need a break.

Are there different size heating bars, and why is that important?

Yes, different machines may have different size sealing bars.  The size of the heating bar will determine the maximum width of bag that you can seal.  For instance, a few machines have a small 8-9 inch bar and will only seal bags with a maximum 8 inch opening.  This can be limiting.

Most machines have an 11-12 inch bar which will allow you to seal any bag up to an 11 inch opening.  This allows maximum flexibility.

A few machines have larger heating bars in the 13-15 inch range.  These larger machines are only needed if you need to freeze very large cuts of meat, and might be used by individuals who process entire animals, like hunters.  With that said, many hunters can get by using a machine with a standard 11-12 inch sealing bar.

Is the thickness of a seal important?

Most home sealers will fuse the two sides of a bag together with a very thin line.  Prosumer and professional sealers will often fuse the bag with a thicker line, or in some cases several lines.  Both of the later options provide more assurance that the bag will remain sealed and air-tight.  This may be important if the bag is stressed, or if the food is to be stored for a very long time.

With that said, the FoodSaver that I have used for decades fuses with a thin line and a properly sealed bag has never failed on me.

Do all vacuum sealers remove air at the same rate?

No, professional sealers can vacuum a bag and seal it faster than a consumer product.  However, this is only an issue if you are doing very high volume sessions.  

How long can I expect a vacuum sealer to last?

It is very difficult for me to give you an absolute answer to this question.  However, longevity depends on level of use as well as level of care from the customer.

The motors on newer consumer vacuum sealers are quite small.  However, I couldn’t find any complaints of motors failing.

The vacuum pumps appear to be cheaply made, being all plastic (including the piston).  However, the only time that I could find reports of vacuum pump failure was the result of a user sucking up liquids into the pump mechanism.

Consumer level machines are mostly plastic, including high wear areas like the latches.  I did come across a few reports of plastic parts wearing out or cracking.  However, these issues were usually after a machine had been used for a number of years.

I came across some complaints that a sealer had stopped sealing.  The seal wire in all machines will eventually fail.  On a consumer level machine it is not replaceable. However, a wire should last for years in a normal use situation. 

One area of frequent failure is the gasket system, especially the gasket that encircles the vacuum channel.  If that gasket is defective it is impossible to get a proper seal and you will not draw an adequate vacuum on your bag.

What causes a gasket seal failure?

The gasket is elastic and spongy.  It is compressed everytime you seal a bag and eventually it will cease to properly seal the channel.  However, that should take quite some time.

You can shorten the life of a gasket by contaminating it with food debris. In addition, you can quickly ruin a gasket by storing your device in the locked position, as this is the position where the gasket is the most compressed. 

How long should a gasket last?

Another difficult question.  The gasket on my 1990s FoodSaver Compact is a very solid rubbery material.  It is permanently glued in and still works fine decades later.  Newer gaskets are more spongy, and I would expect them to have a shorter lifespan, even with good care.

FoodSaver suggests that their gaskets should be charged out yearly for “heavy users.”  However, that is a very arbitrary statement.  My pressure cooker manufacturer also suggests yearly change out of the pressure cooker’s sealing gasket.  However, I take care of my gasket and it has lasted me over 5 years and it is still going strong. 

A gasket should be changed if it is no longer providing a seal for the vacuum channel.  For some this may be within the first few uses (if they somehow damage the gasket).  For others, I suspect that a gasket will last years.

What should I do if my gasket isn’t sealing?

The first step is to inspect the gasket.  Does it have food particles on it?  If so, clean it. Is it not seated properly in its channel?  If so, reseat it. 

If your gasket is permanent (like on some older machines) you can try to repair or reseal it.  I have read articles where people have used food grade silicon and even gasket sealant (food grade?) to repair a permanently mounted gasket. I recently used form-a-gasket sealant to repair my original 1980s food saver.  It has a sump plug that was sealed by an O-ring.  The O-ring was in good shape, but it had stretched a bit causing it to lose its seal.  I couldn’t get a replacement so I “glued” it in with the sealant and my old FoodSaver is once again working.

If your gasket is removable you might try to gently wash it.  Dry it before returning it to the machine.  You could also try to invert it (put the bottom on the top) to see if that would help.

Brand-name vacuum sealers (like FoodSaver) often sell replacement gaskets at reasonable prices. Other brands will sometimes provide an additional gasket or two with the original purchase.  If you get an extra gasket, store it in a cool, dry place where it won’t be crushed. Replacing a gasket is a very simple job.

How long should my vacuum sealer last?

If you are a very heavy user, like a hunter who has to process entire animals in one sitting, you will overtax a consumer level machine and it will likely fail in a year or two. You should purchase a prosumer or professional sealer.

If you are a typical consumer who treats their machine with respect and care it should last 3-5 years or longer.

Do brand-name vacuum sealers work better than no-name vacuum sealers?

If we are talking about consumer-level machines, my subjective answer is, no.  I watched numerous videos of people using off-brand machines and they seemed to be as quick and sealed as well as brand named products.  It is likely that most of these machines are built in the same factories in China. 

Will a brand-name machine last longer than a no-name vacuum sealer?

I have tested a couple no-brand machines in the $30 range.  One was an Aldi brand, and the other was an unknown brand purchased from Amazon.  Both machines were fairly lightweight and their plastic parts were not as robust as my old Compact FoodSaver. However, the same could be said of a modern FoodSaver. Things are not built as well as they used to be.

My guess is that if the construction seems similar to a brand-name device it will last about as long as a brand-name unit. 

Should I buy a prosumer or professional model?

Only if you have a need for one.  For instance, if you are a prepper and seal dozens of bags in a sitting you may overheat and damage a consumer machine.  You would be better served with a more robust device.

Prosumer devices are designed for bagging a lot of product infrequently.  Professional devices are designed to work heavily on a daily basis. 

Professional devices are more serviceable.  Most will allow you to change out components, like the sealing bar. Professional devices are often simpler in design. Many won’t have a latching mechanism as having one slows down workflow..

Professional models will pull a greater vacuum than a consumer model.  That may be important if you are storing foods for years.  However, it won’t make much of a difference for the average user. 

Lastly, some prosumer and professional models will accept a bag width greater than 11”, which could be useful for those needing to package huge cuts of meat.

What are the disadvantages of buying a prosumer or professional model?

Some prosumer models look very similar to a consumer model, so their only disadvantage is a higher cost.  Other prosumer models are bigger and bulkier than a typical consumer model, and may be awkward to keep on the counter, or difficult to pull out of a cabinet. 

Professional units will be larger, heavier, more industrial looking, and have noisy cooling fans. Some will omit functions like an accessory port or the marinate feature, as they are unneeded for packaging.  Naturally, these units will cost more, starting around $300 and moving upwards.

What are some other types of vacuum sealing systems, and why would I want to use them?

Two types that some may find useful are handheld devices and chamber devices. I won’t discuss nozzle systems, which are uncommon in the consumer world.

What is a handheld device?

These are mini-vacuum pumps that are either battery operated or hand-pumped.  They are used as part of a system.  For instance, with special Ziploc bags, or specific vacuum canisters.

Why would I want to use a handheld system?

For convenience and size.  The handheld pumps can be stored in a drawer and easily used.  These units do not heat-seal bags like a traditional vacuum sealer.  Ziploc type bags have a traditionally zipper closure, and canisters have a vacuum valve on their lids.

These devices can be less intimidating than traditional sealers. In my house I use the vacuum sealer for food preservation, but everyone else is comfortable using a little canister set with a hand pump to preserve salads and soft fruits (like strawberries).  

A handheld system can also speed mariating, and slow down oxidation in foods like vegetables and nuts.

Generally speaking, the level of vacuum will not be as great as if you used a standard sealer with an accessory port. 

What is a chamber sealer?

A chamber sealer is a fairly bulky device that contains a vacuum chamber instead of a vacuum channel.  In these machines the vacuum bag is placed inside of the vacuum chamber.  

What are the advantages of a chamber sealer?

There are a number of advantages.  Since both the chamber and the bag are placed under a vacuum at the same time, there is no fluid sucking from the bag and into the machine.  Therefore, it is easy to vacuum seal liquids without freezing them first.

Powdery substances, like flour, require special treatment when vacuum packing in a channel machine.  However, flour can be put into a chamber sealer with no additional prep.

Chamber sealers use non-embossed vacuum bags, which are considerably cheaper than the embossed bags that channel sealers use.  In fact, you can buy a pint sized chamber bag for around three cents, that is less than a ziploc sandwich bag. 

It is more likely that you will waste less food if you have a chamber sealer.  Carrots and celery are inexpensive vegetables and it made more sense for me to toss unused vegetables than vacuum seal them.  However, since a pint size chamber bag is so cheap I now freeze unused vegetables for my next stew or soup.  The combined cost of a bunch of celery and carrots is around $3 where I live.  If I throw away half, I’m giving away $1.50.  I can now save that money using a 3 cent bag plus a tiny amount of electricity. 

Chamber sealers can pull a stronger vacuum than a channel sealer.  In most cases this won’t make a difference.  However, it may be important if you are storing food, like meats, for a very long time (years), or if you plan on doing redux canning. 

What are the disadvantages of a chamber sealer?

Until recently, chamber sealers were commercial machines.  Even the small ones were close to 100 pounds in weight, and took up a large amount of kitchen counter “real estate”. Many chamber sealers have an oil-type vacuum pump that requires some maintenance.  Most chamber sealer’s styles are more suited for a functional butcher shop rather than a homey kitchen.

Chamber sealers can only accept bags that will fit inside of their chamber.  You use premade bags (which come in many sizes) instead of rolls of bag material.  Industrial chamber sealers may be slightly more complicated and intimidating to operate than most channel sealers, which only require the single push of a button.  Until recently, even the cheapest chamber sealer was close to $1000.00 and did not offer any additional functionality.  

Are there any consumer level or less expensive chamber sealers?

Yes, in the last few years some new models have been introduced.  They may have a smaller capacity and use more plastic, but they are considerably less expensive.  You can buy a consumer oriented chamber sealer in the $400-$1000 range.  In addition, some of these consumer oriented machines offer functions like an accessory port, or a marinate function. Some of these machines have a dry vacuum pump instead of a wet vacuum pump (oil based) which eliminates pump maintenance. 

You can also buy Chinese clones of traditional chamber sealers. I have one, and my sealer was inexpensive.  However, my chamber is only 2” deep with a 2” lid dome (4” total), which is much shallower than a commercial brand.  In addition, my chamber is painted steel instead of stainless steel (wouldn’t pass NSF certification), and it is likely that the overall quality of my components are not as good as a commercial machine.  However, it works well enough for me!

Is there an advantage to having an oil based vacuum pump?

All channel-type sealers use a dry (not oil based) pump, whereas professional chamber machines mostly use oil based pumps.  Dry pumps are maintenance free, so why use oil vacuum pumps at all?  Oil based pumps are more efficient and will vacuum larger volumes of air faster.  In addition, oil based pumps last longer.  

Changing the oil on an oil based pump is a simple job.  However, you have to remember to do it.  Your user manual will recommend when you should change the pump’s oil. 

Are there any vacuum sealers that are manufactured in the US?

I can’t speak on industrial-level sealers, but as far as I know all vacuum sealers mentioned here are manufactured in China.  

A company may design a unit in the US and have a Chinese manufacturer build it, or it may modify a Chinese designed unit, or it may simply rebrand a Chinese designed unit.

When it comes to consumer-level machines it is likely that a no-brand machine is similar in construction to a branded machine.  However, it is easy to return a defective FoodSaver to Costco, but few will return a no-name device bought on EBay back to China.

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I hope that I have answered any questions that you may have about vacuum sealers.  The next post will help you sort through which sealer is best for you.

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I’ve been cooking since I was 10. I believe most would say that I’m a good cook, and I certainly don’t have any fears about being in the kitchen. I know how to make a smooth white sauce, I can cook steaks on the grill, and I can even bake a decent chocolate cake. I don’t mind cooking, but it’s not the center of my life. Instead, I want to get into the kitchen, eat, and clean up with the least mess. Because of this, some may call me the king of the one-pot meal.

I’ll use any tool at my command to achieve my simple goals. For example, if I know that I’ll be out for the day, I toss some ingredients into a slow cooker, and if I only have an hour before dinner, it’s common for me to plug in my InstantPot. Both of these methods produce good results, but I cook in a dutch oven for even better results.

Cooking in a dutch oven offers many advantages as well as some disadvantages. A dutch oven is probably the most versatile pot in any kitchen, as you can sear meats on a burner and then place the same pot in the oven to complete cooking. A dutch oven can be used like any other pot in the kitchen, but its thick walls and tight lid make it an ideal slow cooker. Its heavy mass holds the heat, which allows for good searing, and its hot surface promotes the formation of a caramelized fond on the bottom of the pot. This residue adds a delicious complexity to the dish being cooked. If you have a dutch oven that is big enough, it is even possible to bake in it directly on the stovetop. You place a trivet on the bottom of the dutch oven to hold your baking pan. Cover and adjust the burner, and off you go. Of course, you can also directly bake in a dutch oven to make bread, cakes, and cornbread in your oven. 

However, dutch oven cooking does have some disadvantages. The pots are heavy and bulky, and may be too difficult for some. In addition, they have to be handled with a certain amount of care. This is especially true for enameled coated dutch ovens, which can chip and crack if treated harshly. Lastly, many meals involve time and a bit of handling. A recipe may take three or four hours, and during that period, you may need to stir the pot or do some other maintenance task. You will be rewarded with a richness of flavor that can’t be achieved in a slow cooker or pressure cooker, but you will need to commit to being around the house during the hours-long cooking process.

You may ask, what is a dutch oven? It’s a heavy pot with a secure lid. A dutch oven can be made of many things: clay, aluminum, stainless steel, and even ceramic. But, by far, the most common material used for dutch ovens is cast iron. This is because cast iron acts as a giant heat sink. It absorbs heat and slowly radiates it back into the food. Ovens and electric stovetops constantly turn off and on during cooking, and their temperature can vary widely. Cooking in cast iron evens out this cycling, which results in better and more consistent results. 

 You’ve probably seen someone with the traditional dutch oven if you’ve ever gone camping. These pots are often big, black, and the cast iron is without any external coating. Raw cast iron pots can be used for home cooking, but they have limitations. First, aesthetically they are not very attractive. In addition, cast iron can react with acidic foods and give them a metallic taste. Lastly, raw cast iron can rust if washed and not immediately dried.

A long-standing solution to this problem has been to place an enamel coating on both the inside and the outside of the vessel. This isolates the food from the metal and provides a beautiful and colorful finish to the pot.

The outside of an enameled pot can be any color, but its interior color is typically cream or black. Cream-colored interiors allow inexperienced cooks to visualize what they are cooking a bit better. Black interiors allow for somewhat better searing. Some pots have very smooth interiors; others have rougher finishes. Although manufacturers emphasize these differences, I have found that all of these ovens work well.

Enamel is vulcanized glass. It is sprayed on cast iron, which is fired at a high temperature. This fuses the glass to the cast iron for a long-lasting finish. Different companies have their own formulas and techniques for this process, and some claim that their procedures produce a more durable coating.  

There is no absolute size determiner to define a dutch oven. Some people believe that a dutch oven has to be 5 quarts or larger in capacity. However, the vocabulary for dutch ovens is fluid. Some manufacturers sell dutch ovens that start around 1.5 quarts and move upwards. Other companies will call their smaller dutch ovens casseroles and their shorter braisers. Staub refers to their dutch ovens as La Cocottes, which translates to casserole in English. The bottom line is don’t get hung up on a definition. 

Enameled Dutch ovens come in several shapes and designs. Dutch ovens can sell for as little as $40 or more than $400 for the same size. The most expensive dutch ovens are manufactured in France. Le Creuset and Staub are two elite French brands with very loyal followings. Le Creuset is especially good at romanticizing its products, noting that each one is unique and that some consumers have even legally stipulated who gets their pot when they die. Strong statements for a piece of cookery. Is this all hype, or do they make a significantly better product to justify the magnitude jump in their price compared to other brands?

Chiefs and reviewers love these French brands and often give them top ratings based on finish and design features. However, remember that there are only so many shapes for a dutch oven, and there are many copycat brands that have reproduced the designs of these French pots.

I own dutch ovens from both Le Creuset and Staub and other brands, including Lodge and Tramontina. So I feel that I had the tools to determine honesty from hype. 

If you own an elite brand, I have some good news. If you can’t afford these brands, I have some good news. This is a win-win post! 

To strip away the hype, we need to understand a little science. I mentioned that the most common dutch ovens are made from cast iron. But what is cast iron? You may think that it’s iron, but that is incorrect. Cast iron is an alloy. In other words, it consists of several substances mixed together. Cast iron is made of iron with a small amount of carbon added (2%-4%). Different formulas of cast iron may add other substances, like a bit of steel, into the mix. These elements are heated at a very high temperature until they become liquid. The liquid can be poured into a mold to form a pot or a lid. Steel is another alloy made of iron and carbon. However, the concentration of carbon is lower than it is in cast iron (less than 2% carbon). This small change gives steel different properties from cast iron.

Steel has more tensile strength (can be bent and stretched without breaking), but it is difficult to cast molten steel into a mold. Most steel pans are made of stainless steel, which has additional ingredients added to make it corrosion resistant. Quality stainless pans are stamped from several layers of different metals bonded together. It is hard to stamp a complete pan, so handles are made separately and then bolted to the pan’s body. All of these additional steps add to production expenses. 

Cast iron liquifies at a lower temperature than steel. It has less tensile strength, so it is difficult to stamp, but it has better flowing properties. Cast iron is cheaper to produce, and because of its flowing properties, it can be molded into any 3D shape by casting it into a mold made of sand. You can add handles and helper handles directly into the design, which adds integrity to the pan and lowers manufacturing costs at the same time.  

Sand is used for the mold as it has a higher melting point than cast iron. Every cast iron pan is unique as the sand mold is destroyed to remove the pan. Don’t feel too sorry for the sand, as it is reused for the next mold. Cast iron is brittle, so pans made of it have to be thicker than those made of steel. This adds weight to cast iron pans, making them too heavy for some. However, this additional mass makes cast iron pans so fantastic to cook with.

Contrary to popular belief, cast iron is a poor conductor of heat. However, it will completely heat up if you heat a pan slowly. Because pans have to be thick, they become virtual heat sinks. If you drop a steak onto a cheap stainless steel pan, the steak absorbs the pan’s heat, and the pan quickly cools down. Because of cast iron’s great mass that doesn’t happen, which is why many chefs prefer cast iron when searing or browning foods. In addition, this same property regulates temperatures, resulting in more even and consistent cooking.  

Cast iron’s roughness allows oils to polymerize on its cooking surface, making a natural non-stick surface that only gets better with continued use.

Some boutique cast iron manufacturers make pans lighter and smoother than typical pans. They tout this as a major achievement and charge an inflated price. However, Lodge manufactured thinner, lighter, and smoother pans in the 1930s and 1940s, and Le Creuset continues to use thinner cast iron in their cookware line-up. 

Lodge switched to thicker and bumpier cast iron in the 1950s. They say that they went with bumpier cast iron because it developed a patina (non-stick coating) quicker. They don’t state why they also went with a thicker-walled pan. However, thicker cast iron would differentiate their products from stainless steel or aluminum products, as its greater mass would offer the cooking advantages mentioned above.

As stated above, raw cast iron pots do have some notable disadvantages. They can rust if left wet, so they must be thoroughly dried after washing. Cast iron can be washed with dish detergent but never in the dishwasher. However, many, including myself, hold on to the tradition of washing only in water and drying on a range’s burner. During the drying/heating process, I’ll often add a small amount of cooking oil which I’ll spread over the pan’s surfaces. 

The fact that cast iron may add a metallic taste to acidic foods may be objectionable to some. Lastly, others may be put on with cast iron’s practical (i.e., ugly) appearance.

These problems were solved in the late 1800s when manufacturers started to bake a coat of enamel on their cooking vessels. Spray enamel consists of tiny particles of glass mixed with clay, pigments, water, and other things. It can be applied to a pot similarly to spraying paint. The pot is then placed in a hot kiln where the glass is melted and permanently bonded to the vessel’s surface. Since enamel is a form of glass, it is subject to chipping and cracking; each manufacturer has its formula to make its enamel more durable. Durability can also be enhanced by applying a thicker coat of enamel and also by applying more than one coat.

Enamel solved many of raw cast iron’s problems. Enameled cast iron won’t rust, it doesn’t impart a metallic taste to foods, and it can turn ugly duckling cast iron into a beautiful swan. 

The downside to enameled cookware is that the enamel can chip. In addition, rapidly heating a pot can result in fracture lines in the enamel. Enamel is a fairly fragile coating that must be treated similarly to Teflon. Only wood or plastic utensils should be used. In addition, enamel cookware should be hand washed as washing in the dishwasher could pit and dull the glaze turning a beautiful pot drab. 

Now that you are an expert in cast iron science, we can look at Le Creuset dutch ovens with a knowledgeable eye. Let’s explore some of their claims:

1. All of Le Creuset’s dutch ovens are made from a unique mold that is destroyed after the pot is cast. This makes their pots and pans sound like one-of-a-kind works of art. However, what they describe is casting cast iron in sand, which is how all cast iron pots are made.  
2. Le Creuset is so desirable that some people list who will inherit their dutch oven in their will. This may be true, but so what? I cherish a dimestore Ecko soup ladle from my mom. It has no monetary value, but I kept it because of the many lovely stews and soups served using it. One of your kids may want your dutch oven. However, I think that most adult children don’t want their parents’ old pots and pans.  
3. Le Creuset comes in many beautiful colors and has the widest selection of enameled cooking vessels. This is true. Most Dutch oven brands come in several colors, but Le Creuset dutch ovens can be purchased in almost 20 different colors. In addition, some colors are retired while new ones are introduced. Le Creuset also produces exclusive colors for special retailers (Williams Sonoma, I am talking to you). If you are into colors, Le Creuset is the way to go. In addition, Le Creuset makes many different sizes, types, and shapes of cookware.
4. Le Creuset dutch oven’s enamel is more durable than other brands; it won’t chip. Despite claims, Le Creuset can chip just like any other enamel cookware. Its cream-colored interior is subject to staining, and its glossy finish can dull over time. If you don’t believe me check out vintage Le Creuset on eBay. These items are often procured from estate sales, and they show quite a bit of wear and tear. However, I believe that Le Creuset pots may be slightly more durable than some other brands.
5. Le Creuset uses three coats of enamel. This is a bit of an exaggeration. Le Creuset uses a clear bottom enamel layer and adds a tan layer for the interior and a colored layer for the exterior. That is only two layers per surface. Lodge also uses a two-layer enamel process.
6. Le Creuset has a lifetime warranty. They will replace a defective dutch oven for life. This is true, but the devil is in the details. They will replace a pot only if the damage is not caused by abuse and only if the damage impacts the pot’s function. Chips on the rim or outside the pot are the most common damage for any enamel dutch oven, but they are not covered. Likewise, unsightly fracture lines don’t impact the pot’s cooking ability. However, a significant chip inside a cooking vessel could further flake; swallowing glass (enamel) is not a good thing. In such cases, Le Creuset will send you a replacement. Lodge also has a lifetime warranty. 
7. Le Creuset pots are lighter because they have a secret cast-iron formula. Le Creuset pots are lighter because they cast thinner than other dutch ovens. The downside is that they have less thermal mass and, therefore, less thermal regulation. However, this isn’t a very significant problem. Lodge made thinner cast iron in the 1930s and 1940s and deliberately switched to thicker cast iron in the 1950s.
8. Le Creuset’s superior and smoother enamel coating prevents food from sticking. Food sticks on all enamel, but that produces a fond, which can be deglazed and adds to the dish’s flavor. However, all enameled cast iron is surprisingly easy to clean. Although Le Creuset may produce a pot with a slightly smoother finish, that finish does not seem to perform differently from other dutch ovens that I have used. 
9. Le Creuset’s light interior makes it easier to determine when food is properly seared. Most dutch ovens have a light interior. My Staub has a black interior, and Staub claims that this allows it to sear better. Its inside coating is rough, and Staub says this allows its pots to be seasoned like regular cast iron. Using both light and dark interiors, I don’t see a significant cooking difference. However, a dark interior doesn’t show stains.
10. Le Creuset’s straight sides provide a more searing surface than pots with a curved bottom. This is true but not very important for a home cook searing family-sized amounts of meat. In contrast, pots with curved bottoms are supposedly better when making soups and stews. In practice, either shape works great for all foods. If you are stuck on a Le Creuset shape, be aware that many clones are sold at a fraction of the price.
11. Le Creuset pots are made in France, and that is cool. Yes, that is cool.

Beyond the hype, the most important question is, does food taste better cooked in a Le Creuset dutch oven than in some other brand? The answer is no. I have made dishes in many different dutch ovens, and they perform similarly.  

So is Le Creuset worth the money? That depends.

Le Creuset pots are impeccable. They come in really beautiful colors, and their finish is a notch above other brands (except for Staub, which is equally expensive). They are made in France by craftsmen. Their glaze is a bit more durable, and with care, they will probably look a bit better 20 years from their purchase date compared to a Brand-X Chinese unit. If you are into pots and have some cash burning in your pocket, go for it!. However, I would not buy old beat-up Le Creuset pots on eBay; remember that they are just old beat-up pots selling for crazy prices.

If you don’t have a boatload of cash, rejoice! You can buy a five or 6-quart dutch oven for $40-$100, and your dishes will turn out just as well as in a $400 Le Creuset. Yes, the glaze may dull slightly quicker, but my 15-year-old Lodge still looks pretty good. Remember that form follows function.  

If I could have just one brand, would it be Le Creuset? They are very fine dutch ovens, but I would probably go with Staub. I prefer their black interiors. Staub features fewer outer colors, but their enamel seems to be slightly higher quality than Le Creuset pots. If I couldn’t afford the luxury of a French dutch oven, I would have no problem using a Lodge or a Brand-X dutch oven. Cast iron dutch ovens are more similar than they are different.

With proper care, most enameled dutch ovens can last a lifetime. However, with improper care, most dutch ovens will be destroyed in short order. Here are some tips:

1.  Always heat your dutch oven slowly when you’re using it on the range. Heating quickly can result in cracked enamel.
2. Dutch ovens work best when the burner is set no greater than medium-high. 
3. Never wash your dutch oven in the dishwasher; even if the manufacturer says it is dishwasher safe, it will dull its finish. Hand wash with warm soapy water. 
4. Never use metals like steel wool when washing your pans.
5. Treat your enamelware like you would a Teflon pan. Only use plastic or wooden utensils when cooking in it.
6. If your dutch oven has a white or cream interior, it will eventually stain. Some people will add a few tablespoons of bleach to water and allow it to sit in the Dutch oven for 20 or 30 minutes. This can remove some of these stains. Note that stains don’t impact a dutch oven’s functionality.
7. Dutch ovens often get burnt-on food in their Interiors. However, their glassy surfaces allow for easy cleaning as long as you soak them for a bit in hot soapy water before you scrub them out.
8. Be careful of thermal shock. If you rapidly cool a dutch oven, for instance, by filling a hot dutch oven with cold water, you can cause it to crack. Wait until the pan is warm, and then fill with hot water to soak.

If you follow these simple tips, your Dutch oven will retain its beauty for many years. However, remember that it is just a pot and not a design piece in your home. Therefore, a dutch oven should show some wear over time; that is normal and is also a good thing.  

As stated above, my favorite Dutch oven brand is Staub, followed by Le Creuset. Both are beautifully made classics. If you have the cash to spare, you will not be disappointed in either of these brands. If you already have these dutch ovens, you are likely very pleased with your purchase. However, if you can’t afford a status brand, I believe that you’ll be just as happy with an off-brand or a Lodge. Remember that most cast iron brands are more similar than they are different. You can obtain fantastic results with a $40 dutch oven that will be indistinguishable from the food coming out of a $400 one.

Happy cooking. 

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

One of the best parts of adventuring in a van is that you can camp anywhere, including isolated BLM and national forest land. Unfortunately, this often means you are boondocking in less than ideal cell coverage places. Even when using a cell signal booster, it is not uncommon for me to have a single bar, and that signal is only present when I’m seated in the cab area.

Luckily, there is a fantastic fallback for information and entertainment- radio. I have never been in a location where I couldn’t receive multiple AM and FM stations. Of course, I have a car radio, but I don’t use it when the engine isn’t running as I have fallen asleep in the past while listening. I don’t need the hassle of waking up with a dead car battery 20 miles from the nearest town.

I converted my camper van in 2018, and my previous solution was to carry a portable radio with me. This option works great when used outside the vehicle, but reception is impossible inside the van’s signal-blocking metal cabin. 

I have left my cargo door open and placed my portable radio half in and half out of the van. At other times I have precariously perched my radio next to the driver’s side window to eke out a scratchy signal. Neither solution is ideal.

Yesterday I installed a better option, a secondary car radio that runs off of my house battery. High-end aftermarket car radios are expensive, but basic models are surprisingly cheap. Over the last few years, radios have been redesigned where almost all of their circuitry can be placed on a single IC chip. This has reduced their price, and it has also allowed fancy features to be built in at no additional cost. These features include large station storage banks, loudness compensation, equalization controls, and the ability to play MP3 files from a flash drive. Most of these inexpensive radios feature Bluetooth, so you can also stream from your phone. Many have a remote control option (either a little RC or a phone app).  

You can buy these radios for under thirty dollars. In addition, you will need to buy a second outside radio antenna. Small speakers complete the setup and can be repurposed or purchased. The photos below will outline my simple DIY process.

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I sat plopped on Carol’s overstuffed sofa, surrounded by gigantic pillows. My hands cupped a thick earthenware mug filled with hot coffee and two creams. Across the living room sat my sister, Carol, perched on her favorite spot, a reddish-brown and somewhat glossy leather recliner. We were chatting and once again focused on the memories from our distant past.  

Carol is my oldest sister and a full 15 years my senior, yet we had the most similar childhood experiences. These were contrasted by my sister Nancy, my dad’s favorite, and my brother Dave who my mom pampered.

Our conversation turned to my brother, Tommy, 13 years older than me. Tom was the quiet one in our family. He was over six feet tall and with a husky build; he was dark in complexion, with jet black hair and a masculine persona. I don’t have a single negative memory of Tom. Well, that would be a lie as I have many negative memories. However, they have little to do with Tom, the person; they center on other things.  

___________

I woke up in shock. My heart was racing, and I was sweating profusely. I felt nauseous. It was 2:30 in the morning, and the harvest gold wall phone in the kitchen was ringing incessantly. Instinctively, I jumped out of bed and felt a dizzy head rush that almost made me collapse to the floor. I lurched forward, making it to the small hallway between my room and the kitchen beyond. I froze, unable to move as if a giant forcefield was pressing on my shoulders. I couldn’t take a step further. I couldn’t be the person to accept the call. It was not meant for me.

My mother, Anne, rushed past me wearing an old and somewhat tattered nightgown. I could feel the heat from her body as she brushed me. Within seconds I heard her wail, “Oh no, oh God no, please God no!” I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. As usual, I had to be the strong one, the one in control.  The dreaded phone call had finally come. My father, Ed, stumbled in. He was silent as he slid past me and into the kitchen. He also knew without asking. We all knew before the phone ever rang. 

____________

My brother Tommy was my oldest brother. Darkly handsome, with a dry sense of humor and an ability to write funny stories. I don’t have a lot of memories of interacting with my brother. Being 13 years my senior, he was fully adult by the time I was eight. I have a reminiscence here and there, but they consist of family interactions or situations where my role was one of an observer rather than a participant.  

I recall riding with my parents as we dropped Tommy off at St. Joseph’s College in Rensselaer, Indiana. The small school was dominated by a large brick church that had a Byzantine character. I remember his red brick dormitory building and also a large pond, or was it a gigantic fountain? I have a vague recollection of eating lunch in the school’s dining hall. My father was always up for eating in school cafeterias. I’m unsure if this was because he worked as a chief operating engineer for CPS or the fact that he was never able to go away to college.

It was likely that my brother was only 18 at the time. However, in my child’s mind, he was a grown-up facing an exciting college future. Tommy was engaged to a woman named Donna, who was my sister’s co-worker. As I write this, it seems odd that someone would be engaged at 18, and this reality makes me question my historical accuracy. Perhaps he became engaged after attending St. Joe’s for a few years; I don’t know.

Donna was unhappy with Tom’s absence and made her feelings clear, forcing him to trek the 81 miles back to Chicago every weekend. The price of love was his education, and he eventually dropped out of school. This was an important lesson for me because my brother had to work in various unfulfilling office jobs. Selfish people are selfish, and soon his adoring presence was inadequate for Donna, and the relationship ended.

I mentioned my father’s intrigue with higher education, but I would also like to add that many Eastern European immigrants believed that education is THE ticket to a successful life. Embedded in my mind is my mother’s comment, “You can lose a million dollars, but no one can ever take away your education.” This lesson was also emphasized to Tommy, and it was clear to him that he needed to return to school. However, his adoration of Donna left his transcripts in shambles, and despite his innate intelligence, no school would consider him. That was until he read about Parson’s College, an institution known to give people a second chance. 

He was accepted at Parson’s, where he did well academically, and graduated with a degree in business administration. At some point, he met and married his wife, Lee. At some other point, he spent several years serving in the Army. The exact sequence of all of these events eludes me.

Tommy’s life was moving forward, but I was still a kid living in our run-down bungalow on Francisco Avenue. The one that my mother didn’t want but that my father insisted on buying because it had been owned by some distant connection from his past. 

Now, I was a kid in high school, and Tom was a married man. We had little in common and shared few adventures. I longed to have relationships with both of my brothers. I watched movies where older brothers protected their younger siblings. Brothers who would teach their younger brothers how to navigate the world. This was not meant for me as they were too old to connect with adolescents, yet too young to develop the empathy necessary that would make them reach out to me despite our age differences. However, college was coming, and with it, I was hopeful for the equalization that such transitions bring. 

______________

I made one of my very rare trips back home from Northern Illinois University. I was now a senior and had already taken the GRE. I was filling out applications to graduate schools as part of my plan to get a Ph.D. in microbial biochemistry, my next step in my goal to become a university professor.  

It was a time of reflection that was somewhat bittersweet. My memories flashed to my 8th grade and the private meeting on our front porch that my father summoned me to. “I have decided that you will go to Gage Park, high school.” I sat shocked in silence. Gage Park had deteriorated into a poor academic institution best known for its gang activity and physical violence. My father read the look of disbelief on my face and flatly said, “If you want to learn, you can learn anywhere.” The conversation was over.

All of my siblings had gone to private high schools, so I honestly don’t know why he made such a pronouncement. I guess he was just done with parenting. Worse yet, my uncle, Nick, mentioned in passing to me that my extended relatives assumed that the only reason that I would be denied a private education was that I was too stupid to be accepted to a Catholic high school. Why else would I be sent to such a terrible place? I had to deal with not only my anger but also the shame that my extended family thought I was a moron.

When I graduated from Gage Park, I took control of my life. No one was going to pigeonhole me into what they felt I was or should be. College became the time for me to be me, and I made the most of it. I was the guy setting the curves on the tests, the one that the teachers asked if they could keep his term papers to use as examples. I was the one who was called by professors and told not to take the final exam for fear that I would push the curve too far to the right for the other students. I was a steam roller moving forward.

I was also moving forward with the connections with my older siblings. As I became an adult, our differences morphed into similarities. I was changing from an isolated only child role to an equal member of a five-siblings group. This was a gift, but then I received the most horrible news possible.

________

I perched myself on the edge of Carol’s couch, afraid that if I sat back, it would swallow me in its plushness. I love both of my sisters and feel immensely close to them and their kind, warm ways. Our connections have grown exponentially over the years. I’m no longer their baby brother; I am their trusted sibling. As usual, my conversation with Carol meandered.

Our respective childhoods, separated by 15 years, were so similar. We were both given buoys that kept us afloat during those times. When Carol was young, my parents lived in a flat below my grandparents. She would go up the stairs nightly to be fussed over by my then-young aunts, Mary, Lill, and Susie. They made her feel special and important. She felt that their influence significantly changed her life.

In turn, I had my friend John. We had known each other since kindergarten but became best friends, then brothers, in 6th grade. We were inseparable and saw each other every day. Our jobs were to support and take care of each other. To be there when times were tough. To high-five each other over successes. A role that we serve to this very day.

_________

“I don’t have any negative memories of Tommy; I just wish that I had had a relationship with him,” I told Carol. “Why did it all have to end that way?”  

__________

My mind flashed back to my senior year at NIU. I have mentally blocked how I got the news, but I intensely remember how I felt after receiving it… shocked, scared, and in a panic. My brother had developed a cold, and he couldn’t shake it. He had been ill for months and was tired and run down. Finally, he went to the doctor, and his diagnosis was terrifying; he had CML or Chronic Myeloid Leukemia. The good news was that this was one of the few cancers in the 1970s that had a fairly reasonable cure rate. New treatments were emerging, and he was going to be cared for at the University of Chicago Hospital, one of the best places in the nation.

Remission, then failed remission, then no remission. Endless bone marrow punctures, toxic chemotherapies, white blood cells centrifuged from our veins and stuck into his. My big, strong, bulky brother was transformed into a wisp of smoke. I recall helping him into a car, so we could drive him back to the U of C for another round of torture. We had secured his belt as tightly as we could, yet when he stood next to the car, his pants fell between his ankles. He was a walking skeleton.

My mind traveled to a regret that still haunts me today. Tom had developed an ileus while in the hospital and was on strict NPO (nothing by mouth). He was so dry that his lips were white and cracked. “Mike, please go to the fridge and sneak me a popsicle. I’m so dry… please!” This was before I ever considered medical school, and in my lack of knowledge, I felt that I could kill him if I disobeyed the doctor’s orders. I am distressed to this day that I didn’t get him that popsicle. 

Now I was in graduate school, learning about bacteria when I should have been learning about cancer. The knowledge that seemed so important to me became trivial. Why didn’t I know how to fix this problem?

And then the early-morning phone call came. After a year of suffering, my brother died. He was 32.

_______________

A thought flashed across Carol’s eyes. “I just remembered that I came across something that you may find useful,” she said as she started to rifle through her files. She handed me four yellowed handwritten sheets of paper.

The top of the sheets bore the letterhead of David J White and Associates, a company unknown to me. Below the letterhead were the words “Dear Michael Klina.” followed by a neat and almost feminine script scribed in black ink. I continued to read in puzzlement until a dim light bulb started to glow in my head. It was a letter written to me by my brother Tom while he was at work. The note was undated but sent to me at Christmastime when I was at NIU. I attended NIU during my junior and senior years, so it was sent in December sometime during that time. It is likely that he wrote the letter during my senior year, a few months before he was diagnosed with leukemia. 

The letter isn’t significant in content, which makes it all the more significant to me. It is a newsy letter, charming in its lack of any real news and full of inside jokes. There are several misspells of our last name, Kuna, four letters that were consistently mangled when our household received legal documents, adverts, magazines, and business letters. There is talk of Christmas shopping and his lack of funds because of it. There is a protective warning to me that gas stations would be closed over Christmas. There are inquiries about the mechanical reliability of my 1972 Ford Pinto, probably the worst car design of all time. Apparently, the chair of the Department of Chemistry had been reaching out to me about some sort of honors thing that Tom knew about, but I have no current memory. Tommy also made reference to my long-time friend, John, who was then my college roommate.  

He ended the letter in a jokingly formal “Thomas” and added his wife’s name for completeness. He mis-signed his last name four different ways, bringing his initial joke full circle, and finally concluded with a “Kilroy was here” doodle, a usual ending for an informal correspondence that he would send to anyone.   

The significance of the letter was in its insignificance. It was a note to a friend, an equal. The trauma of the last year of my brother’s life had completely made me forget the fact that we were finally connecting in a brotherly way. Yes, I wanted much more, but this was something. A random letter sent to me had somehow found its way into my sister’s files. Now, almost 50 years later, it was sent back to me to remind me that my brother Tommy did care about me. It was as if he found a way to tell me that he was looking out for me all of these years.

As I write this, I wonder if my departed brother had anything to do with the uncontrollable forces that made me leave grad school after my Master’s degree and apply to med school. A decision that seemed so foolish, bizarre, and out of context for rational me. Why would I feel compelled to do such a thing? Perhaps, the force that was guiding me was my heavenly brother, Tommy. Perhaps, he placed those four sheets of paper in my sister’s file so they could give me comfort decades later…Perhaps.

My dear brother, I wish we could have grown old together.