In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I’ve been cooking since I was 10. I believe most would say that I’m a good cook, and I certainly don’t have any fears about being in the kitchen. I know how to make a smooth white sauce, I can cook steaks on the grill, and I can even bake a decent chocolate cake. I don’t mind cooking, but it’s not the center of my life. Instead, I want to get into the kitchen, eat, and clean up with the least mess. Because of this, some may call me the king of the one-pot meal.

I’ll use any tool at my command to achieve my simple goals. For example, if I know that I’ll be out for the day, I toss some ingredients into a slow cooker, and if I only have an hour before dinner, it’s common for me to plug in my InstantPot. Both of these methods produce good results, but I cook in a dutch oven for even better results.

Cooking in a dutch oven offers many advantages as well as some disadvantages. A dutch oven is probably the most versatile pot in any kitchen, as you can sear meats on a burner and then place the same pot in the oven to complete cooking. A dutch oven can be used like any other pot in the kitchen, but its thick walls and tight lid make it an ideal slow cooker. Its heavy mass holds the heat, which allows for good searing, and its hot surface promotes the formation of a caramelized fond on the bottom of the pot. This residue adds a delicious complexity to the dish being cooked. If you have a dutch oven that is big enough, it is even possible to bake in it directly on the stovetop. You place a trivet on the bottom of the dutch oven to hold your baking pan. Cover and adjust the burner, and off you go. Of course, you can also directly bake in a dutch oven to make bread, cakes, and cornbread in your oven. 

However, dutch oven cooking does have some disadvantages. The pots are heavy and bulky, and may be too difficult for some. In addition, they have to be handled with a certain amount of care. This is especially true for enameled coated dutch ovens, which can chip and crack if treated harshly. Lastly, many meals involve time and a bit of handling. A recipe may take three or four hours, and during that period, you may need to stir the pot or do some other maintenance task. You will be rewarded with a richness of flavor that can’t be achieved in a slow cooker or pressure cooker, but you will need to commit to being around the house during the hours-long cooking process.

You may ask, what is a dutch oven? It’s a heavy pot with a secure lid. A dutch oven can be made of many things: clay, aluminum, stainless steel, and even ceramic. But, by far, the most common material used for dutch ovens is cast iron. This is because cast iron acts as a giant heat sink. It absorbs heat and slowly radiates it back into the food. Ovens and electric stovetops constantly turn off and on during cooking, and their temperature can vary widely. Cooking in cast iron evens out this cycling, which results in better and more consistent results. 

 You’ve probably seen someone with the traditional dutch oven if you’ve ever gone camping. These pots are often big, black, and the cast iron is without any external coating. Raw cast iron pots can be used for home cooking, but they have limitations. First, aesthetically they are not very attractive. In addition, cast iron can react with acidic foods and give them a metallic taste. Lastly, raw cast iron can rust if washed and not immediately dried.

A long-standing solution to this problem has been to place an enamel coating on both the inside and the outside of the vessel. This isolates the food from the metal and provides a beautiful and colorful finish to the pot.

The outside of an enameled pot can be any color, but its interior color is typically cream or black. Cream-colored interiors allow inexperienced cooks to visualize what they are cooking a bit better. Black interiors allow for somewhat better searing. Some pots have very smooth interiors; others have rougher finishes. Although manufacturers emphasize these differences, I have found that all of these ovens work well.

Enamel is vulcanized glass. It is sprayed on cast iron, which is fired at a high temperature. This fuses the glass to the cast iron for a long-lasting finish. Different companies have their own formulas and techniques for this process, and some claim that their procedures produce a more durable coating.  

There is no absolute size determiner to define a dutch oven. Some people believe that a dutch oven has to be 5 quarts or larger in capacity. However, the vocabulary for dutch ovens is fluid. Some manufacturers sell dutch ovens that start around 1.5 quarts and move upwards. Other companies will call their smaller dutch ovens casseroles and their shorter braisers. Staub refers to their dutch ovens as La Cocottes, which translates to casserole in English. The bottom line is don’t get hung up on a definition. 

Enameled Dutch ovens come in several shapes and designs. Dutch ovens can sell for as little as $40 or more than $400 for the same size. The most expensive dutch ovens are manufactured in France. Le Creuset and Staub are two elite French brands with very loyal followings. Le Creuset is especially good at romanticizing its products, noting that each one is unique and that some consumers have even legally stipulated who gets their pot when they die. Strong statements for a piece of cookery. Is this all hype, or do they make a significantly better product to justify the magnitude jump in their price compared to other brands?

Chiefs and reviewers love these French brands and often give them top ratings based on finish and design features. However, remember that there are only so many shapes for a dutch oven, and there are many copycat brands that have reproduced the designs of these French pots.

I own dutch ovens from both Le Creuset and Staub and other brands, including Lodge and Tramontina. So I feel that I had the tools to determine honesty from hype. 

If you own an elite brand, I have some good news. If you can’t afford these brands, I have some good news. This is a win-win post! 

To strip away the hype, we need to understand a little science. I mentioned that the most common dutch ovens are made from cast iron. But what is cast iron? You may think that it’s iron, but that is incorrect. Cast iron is an alloy. In other words, it consists of several substances mixed together. Cast iron is made of iron with a small amount of carbon added (2%-4%). Different formulas of cast iron may add other substances, like a bit of steel, into the mix. These elements are heated at a very high temperature until they become liquid. The liquid can be poured into a mold to form a pot or a lid. Steel is another alloy made of iron and carbon. However, the concentration of carbon is lower than it is in cast iron (less than 2% carbon). This small change gives steel different properties from cast iron.

Steel has more tensile strength (can be bent and stretched without breaking), but it is difficult to cast molten steel into a mold. Most steel pans are made of stainless steel, which has additional ingredients added to make it corrosion resistant. Quality stainless pans are stamped from several layers of different metals bonded together. It is hard to stamp a complete pan, so handles are made separately and then bolted to the pan’s body. All of these additional steps add to production expenses. 

Cast iron liquifies at a lower temperature than steel. It has less tensile strength, so it is difficult to stamp, but it has better flowing properties. Cast iron is cheaper to produce, and because of its flowing properties, it can be molded into any 3D shape by casting it into a mold made of sand. You can add handles and helper handles directly into the design, which adds integrity to the pan and lowers manufacturing costs at the same time.  

Sand is used for the mold as it has a higher melting point than cast iron. Every cast iron pan is unique as the sand mold is destroyed to remove the pan. Don’t feel too sorry for the sand, as it is reused for the next mold. Cast iron is brittle, so pans made of it have to be thicker than those made of steel. This adds weight to cast iron pans, making them too heavy for some. However, this additional mass makes cast iron pans so fantastic to cook with.

Contrary to popular belief, cast iron is a poor conductor of heat. However, it will completely heat up if you heat a pan slowly. Because pans have to be thick, they become virtual heat sinks. If you drop a steak onto a cheap stainless steel pan, the steak absorbs the pan’s heat, and the pan quickly cools down. Because of cast iron’s great mass that doesn’t happen, which is why many chefs prefer cast iron when searing or browning foods. In addition, this same property regulates temperatures, resulting in more even and consistent cooking.  

Cast iron’s roughness allows oils to polymerize on its cooking surface, making a natural non-stick surface that only gets better with continued use.

Some boutique cast iron manufacturers make pans lighter and smoother than typical pans. They tout this as a major achievement and charge an inflated price. However, Lodge manufactured thinner, lighter, and smoother pans in the 1930s and 1940s, and Le Creuset continues to use thinner cast iron in their cookware line-up. 

Lodge switched to thicker and bumpier cast iron in the 1950s. They say that they went with bumpier cast iron because it developed a patina (non-stick coating) quicker. They don’t state why they also went with a thicker-walled pan. However, thicker cast iron would differentiate their products from stainless steel or aluminum products, as its greater mass would offer the cooking advantages mentioned above.

As stated above, raw cast iron pots do have some notable disadvantages. They can rust if left wet, so they must be thoroughly dried after washing. Cast iron can be washed with dish detergent but never in the dishwasher. However, many, including myself, hold on to the tradition of washing only in water and drying on a range’s burner. During the drying/heating process, I’ll often add a small amount of cooking oil which I’ll spread over the pan’s surfaces. 

The fact that cast iron may add a metallic taste to acidic foods may be objectionable to some. Lastly, others may be put on with cast iron’s practical (i.e., ugly) appearance.

These problems were solved in the late 1800s when manufacturers started to bake a coat of enamel on their cooking vessels. Spray enamel consists of tiny particles of glass mixed with clay, pigments, water, and other things. It can be applied to a pot similarly to spraying paint. The pot is then placed in a hot kiln where the glass is melted and permanently bonded to the vessel’s surface. Since enamel is a form of glass, it is subject to chipping and cracking; each manufacturer has its formula to make its enamel more durable. Durability can also be enhanced by applying a thicker coat of enamel and also by applying more than one coat.

Enamel solved many of raw cast iron’s problems. Enameled cast iron won’t rust, it doesn’t impart a metallic taste to foods, and it can turn ugly duckling cast iron into a beautiful swan. 

The downside to enameled cookware is that the enamel can chip. In addition, rapidly heating a pot can result in fracture lines in the enamel. Enamel is a fairly fragile coating that must be treated similarly to Teflon. Only wood or plastic utensils should be used. In addition, enamel cookware should be hand washed as washing in the dishwasher could pit and dull the glaze turning a beautiful pot drab. 

Now that you are an expert in cast iron science, we can look at Le Creuset dutch ovens with a knowledgeable eye. Let’s explore some of their claims:

1. All of Le Creuset’s dutch ovens are made from a unique mold that is destroyed after the pot is cast. This makes their pots and pans sound like one-of-a-kind works of art. However, what they describe is casting cast iron in sand, which is how all cast iron pots are made.  
2. Le Creuset is so desirable that some people list who will inherit their dutch oven in their will. This may be true, but so what? I cherish a dimestore Ecko soup ladle from my mom. It has no monetary value, but I kept it because of the many lovely stews and soups served using it. One of your kids may want your dutch oven. However, I think that most adult children don’t want their parents’ old pots and pans.  
3. Le Creuset comes in many beautiful colors and has the widest selection of enameled cooking vessels. This is true. Most Dutch oven brands come in several colors, but Le Creuset dutch ovens can be purchased in almost 20 different colors. In addition, some colors are retired while new ones are introduced. Le Creuset also produces exclusive colors for special retailers (Williams Sonoma, I am talking to you). If you are into colors, Le Creuset is the way to go. In addition, Le Creuset makes many different sizes, types, and shapes of cookware.
4. Le Creuset dutch oven’s enamel is more durable than other brands; it won’t chip. Despite claims, Le Creuset can chip just like any other enamel cookware. Its cream-colored interior is subject to staining, and its glossy finish can dull over time. If you don’t believe me check out vintage Le Creuset on eBay. These items are often procured from estate sales, and they show quite a bit of wear and tear. However, I believe that Le Creuset pots may be slightly more durable than some other brands.
5. Le Creuset uses three coats of enamel. This is a bit of an exaggeration. Le Creuset uses a clear bottom enamel layer and adds a tan layer for the interior and a colored layer for the exterior. That is only two layers per surface. Lodge also uses a two-layer enamel process.
6. Le Creuset has a lifetime warranty. They will replace a defective dutch oven for life. This is true, but the devil is in the details. They will replace a pot only if the damage is not caused by abuse and only if the damage impacts the pot’s function. Chips on the rim or outside the pot are the most common damage for any enamel dutch oven, but they are not covered. Likewise, unsightly fracture lines don’t impact the pot’s cooking ability. However, a significant chip inside a cooking vessel could further flake; swallowing glass (enamel) is not a good thing. In such cases, Le Creuset will send you a replacement. Lodge also has a lifetime warranty. 
7. Le Creuset pots are lighter because they have a secret cast-iron formula. Le Creuset pots are lighter because they cast thinner than other dutch ovens. The downside is that they have less thermal mass and, therefore, less thermal regulation. However, this isn’t a very significant problem. Lodge made thinner cast iron in the 1930s and 1940s and deliberately switched to thicker cast iron in the 1950s.
8. Le Creuset’s superior and smoother enamel coating prevents food from sticking. Food sticks on all enamel, but that produces a fond, which can be deglazed and adds to the dish’s flavor. However, all enameled cast iron is surprisingly easy to clean. Although Le Creuset may produce a pot with a slightly smoother finish, that finish does not seem to perform differently from other dutch ovens that I have used. 
9. Le Creuset’s light interior makes it easier to determine when food is properly seared. Most dutch ovens have a light interior. My Staub has a black interior, and Staub claims that this allows it to sear better. Its inside coating is rough, and Staub says this allows its pots to be seasoned like regular cast iron. Using both light and dark interiors, I don’t see a significant cooking difference. However, a dark interior doesn’t show stains.
10. Le Creuset’s straight sides provide a more searing surface than pots with a curved bottom. This is true but not very important for a home cook searing family-sized amounts of meat. In contrast, pots with curved bottoms are supposedly better when making soups and stews. In practice, either shape works great for all foods. If you are stuck on a Le Creuset shape, be aware that many clones are sold at a fraction of the price.
11. Le Creuset pots are made in France, and that is cool. Yes, that is cool.

Beyond the hype, the most important question is, does food taste better cooked in a Le Creuset dutch oven than in some other brand? The answer is no. I have made dishes in many different dutch ovens, and they perform similarly.  

So is Le Creuset worth the money? That depends.

Le Creuset pots are impeccable. They come in really beautiful colors, and their finish is a notch above other brands (except for Staub, which is equally expensive). They are made in France by craftsmen. Their glaze is a bit more durable, and with care, they will probably look a bit better 20 years from their purchase date compared to a Brand-X Chinese unit. If you are into pots and have some cash burning in your pocket, go for it!. However, I would not buy old beat-up Le Creuset pots on eBay; remember that they are just old beat-up pots selling for crazy prices.

If you don’t have a boatload of cash, rejoice! You can buy a five or 6-quart dutch oven for $40-$100, and your dishes will turn out just as well as in a $400 Le Creuset. Yes, the glaze may dull slightly quicker, but my 15-year-old Lodge still looks pretty good. Remember that form follows function.  

If I could have just one brand, would it be Le Creuset? They are very fine dutch ovens, but I would probably go with Staub. I prefer their black interiors. Staub features fewer outer colors, but their enamel seems to be slightly higher quality than Le Creuset pots. If I couldn’t afford the luxury of a French dutch oven, I would have no problem using a Lodge or a Brand-X dutch oven. Cast iron dutch ovens are more similar than they are different.

With proper care, most enameled dutch ovens can last a lifetime. However, with improper care, most dutch ovens will be destroyed in short order. Here are some tips:

1.  Always heat your dutch oven slowly when you’re using it on the range. Heating quickly can result in cracked enamel.
2. Dutch ovens work best when the burner is set no greater than medium-high. 
3. Never wash your dutch oven in the dishwasher; even if the manufacturer says it is dishwasher safe, it will dull its finish. Hand wash with warm soapy water. 
4. Never use metals like steel wool when washing your pans.
5. Treat your enamelware like you would a Teflon pan. Only use plastic or wooden utensils when cooking in it.
6. If your dutch oven has a white or cream interior, it will eventually stain. Some people will add a few tablespoons of bleach to water and allow it to sit in the Dutch oven for 20 or 30 minutes. This can remove some of these stains. Note that stains don’t impact a dutch oven’s functionality.
7. Dutch ovens often get burnt-on food in their Interiors. However, their glassy surfaces allow for easy cleaning as long as you soak them for a bit in hot soapy water before you scrub them out.
8. Be careful of thermal shock. If you rapidly cool a dutch oven, for instance, by filling a hot dutch oven with cold water, you can cause it to crack. Wait until the pan is warm, and then fill with hot water to soak.

If you follow these simple tips, your Dutch oven will retain its beauty for many years. However, remember that it is just a pot and not a design piece in your home. Therefore, a dutch oven should show some wear over time; that is normal and is also a good thing.  

As stated above, my favorite Dutch oven brand is Staub, followed by Le Creuset. Both are beautifully made classics. If you have the cash to spare, you will not be disappointed in either of these brands. If you already have these dutch ovens, you are likely very pleased with your purchase. However, if you can’t afford a status brand, I believe that you’ll be just as happy with an off-brand or a Lodge. Remember that most cast iron brands are more similar than they are different. You can obtain fantastic results with a $40 dutch oven that will be indistinguishable from the food coming out of a $400 one.

Happy cooking. 

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

One of the best parts of adventuring in a van is that you can camp anywhere, including isolated BLM and national forest land. Unfortunately, this often means you are boondocking in less than ideal cell coverage places. Even when using a cell signal booster, it is not uncommon for me to have a single bar, and that signal is only present when I’m seated in the cab area.

Luckily, there is a fantastic fallback for information and entertainment- radio. I have never been in a location where I couldn’t receive multiple AM and FM stations. Of course, I have a car radio, but I don’t use it when the engine isn’t running as I have fallen asleep in the past while listening. I don’t need the hassle of waking up with a dead car battery 20 miles from the nearest town.

I converted my camper van in 2018, and my previous solution was to carry a portable radio with me. This option works great when used outside the vehicle, but reception is impossible inside the van’s signal-blocking metal cabin. 

I have left my cargo door open and placed my portable radio half in and half out of the van. At other times I have precariously perched my radio next to the driver’s side window to eke out a scratchy signal. Neither solution is ideal.

Yesterday I installed a better option, a secondary car radio that runs off of my house battery. High-end aftermarket car radios are expensive, but basic models are surprisingly cheap. Over the last few years, radios have been redesigned where almost all of their circuitry can be placed on a single IC chip. This has reduced their price, and it has also allowed fancy features to be built in at no additional cost. These features include large station storage banks, loudness compensation, equalization controls, and the ability to play MP3 files from a flash drive. Most of these inexpensive radios feature Bluetooth, so you can also stream from your phone. Many have a remote control option (either a little RC or a phone app).  

You can buy these radios for under thirty dollars. In addition, you will need to buy a second outside radio antenna. Small speakers complete the setup and can be repurposed or purchased. The photos below will outline my simple DIY process.

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I sat plopped on Carol’s overstuffed sofa, surrounded by gigantic pillows. My hands cupped a thick earthenware mug filled with hot coffee and two creams. Across the living room sat my sister, Carol, perched on her favorite spot, a reddish-brown and somewhat glossy leather recliner. We were chatting and once again focused on the memories from our distant past.  

Carol is my oldest sister and a full 15 years my senior, yet we had the most similar childhood experiences. These were contrasted by my sister Nancy, my dad’s favorite, and my brother Dave who my mom pampered.

Our conversation turned to my brother, Tommy, 13 years older than me. Tom was the quiet one in our family. He was over six feet tall and with a husky build; he was dark in complexion, with jet black hair and a masculine persona. I don’t have a single negative memory of Tom. Well, that would be a lie as I have many negative memories. However, they have little to do with Tom, the person; they center on other things.  

___________

I woke up in shock. My heart was racing, and I was sweating profusely. I felt nauseous. It was 2:30 in the morning, and the harvest gold wall phone in the kitchen was ringing incessantly. Instinctively, I jumped out of bed and felt a dizzy head rush that almost made me collapse to the floor. I lurched forward, making it to the small hallway between my room and the kitchen beyond. I froze, unable to move as if a giant forcefield was pressing on my shoulders. I couldn’t take a step further. I couldn’t be the person to accept the call. It was not meant for me.

My mother, Anne, rushed past me wearing an old and somewhat tattered nightgown. I could feel the heat from her body as she brushed me. Within seconds I heard her wail, “Oh no, oh God no, please God no!” I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. As usual, I had to be the strong one, the one in control.  The dreaded phone call had finally come. My father, Ed, stumbled in. He was silent as he slid past me and into the kitchen. He also knew without asking. We all knew before the phone ever rang. 

____________

My brother Tommy was my oldest brother. Darkly handsome, with a dry sense of humor and an ability to write funny stories. I don’t have a lot of memories of interacting with my brother. Being 13 years my senior, he was fully adult by the time I was eight. I have a reminiscence here and there, but they consist of family interactions or situations where my role was one of an observer rather than a participant.  

I recall riding with my parents as we dropped Tommy off at St. Joseph’s College in Rensselaer, Indiana. The small school was dominated by a large brick church that had a Byzantine character. I remember his red brick dormitory building and also a large pond, or was it a gigantic fountain? I have a vague recollection of eating lunch in the school’s dining hall. My father was always up for eating in school cafeterias. I’m unsure if this was because he worked as a chief operating engineer for CPS or the fact that he was never able to go away to college.

It was likely that my brother was only 18 at the time. However, in my child’s mind, he was a grown-up facing an exciting college future. Tommy was engaged to a woman named Donna, who was my sister’s co-worker. As I write this, it seems odd that someone would be engaged at 18, and this reality makes me question my historical accuracy. Perhaps he became engaged after attending St. Joe’s for a few years; I don’t know.

Donna was unhappy with Tom’s absence and made her feelings clear, forcing him to trek the 81 miles back to Chicago every weekend. The price of love was his education, and he eventually dropped out of school. This was an important lesson for me because my brother had to work in various unfulfilling office jobs. Selfish people are selfish, and soon his adoring presence was inadequate for Donna, and the relationship ended.

I mentioned my father’s intrigue with higher education, but I would also like to add that many Eastern European immigrants believed that education is THE ticket to a successful life. Embedded in my mind is my mother’s comment, “You can lose a million dollars, but no one can ever take away your education.” This lesson was also emphasized to Tommy, and it was clear to him that he needed to return to school. However, his adoration of Donna left his transcripts in shambles, and despite his innate intelligence, no school would consider him. That was until he read about Parson’s College, an institution known to give people a second chance. 

He was accepted at Parson’s, where he did well academically, and graduated with a degree in business administration. At some point, he met and married his wife, Lee. At some other point, he spent several years serving in the Army. The exact sequence of all of these events eludes me.

Tommy’s life was moving forward, but I was still a kid living in our run-down bungalow on Francisco Avenue. The one that my mother didn’t want but that my father insisted on buying because it had been owned by some distant connection from his past. 

Now, I was a kid in high school, and Tom was a married man. We had little in common and shared few adventures. I longed to have relationships with both of my brothers. I watched movies where older brothers protected their younger siblings. Brothers who would teach their younger brothers how to navigate the world. This was not meant for me as they were too old to connect with adolescents, yet too young to develop the empathy necessary that would make them reach out to me despite our age differences. However, college was coming, and with it, I was hopeful for the equalization that such transitions bring. 

______________

I made one of my very rare trips back home from Northern Illinois University. I was now a senior and had already taken the GRE. I was filling out applications to graduate schools as part of my plan to get a Ph.D. in microbial biochemistry, my next step in my goal to become a university professor.  

It was a time of reflection that was somewhat bittersweet. My memories flashed to my 8th grade and the private meeting on our front porch that my father summoned me to. “I have decided that you will go to Gage Park, high school.” I sat shocked in silence. Gage Park had deteriorated into a poor academic institution best known for its gang activity and physical violence. My father read the look of disbelief on my face and flatly said, “If you want to learn, you can learn anywhere.” The conversation was over.

All of my siblings had gone to private high schools, so I honestly don’t know why he made such a pronouncement. I guess he was just done with parenting. Worse yet, my uncle, Nick, mentioned in passing to me that my extended relatives assumed that the only reason that I would be denied a private education was that I was too stupid to be accepted to a Catholic high school. Why else would I be sent to such a terrible place? I had to deal with not only my anger but also the shame that my extended family thought I was a moron.

When I graduated from Gage Park, I took control of my life. No one was going to pigeonhole me into what they felt I was or should be. College became the time for me to be me, and I made the most of it. I was the guy setting the curves on the tests, the one that the teachers asked if they could keep his term papers to use as examples. I was the one who was called by professors and told not to take the final exam for fear that I would push the curve too far to the right for the other students. I was a steam roller moving forward.

I was also moving forward with the connections with my older siblings. As I became an adult, our differences morphed into similarities. I was changing from an isolated only child role to an equal member of a five-siblings group. This was a gift, but then I received the most horrible news possible.

________

I perched myself on the edge of Carol’s couch, afraid that if I sat back, it would swallow me in its plushness. I love both of my sisters and feel immensely close to them and their kind, warm ways. Our connections have grown exponentially over the years. I’m no longer their baby brother; I am their trusted sibling. As usual, my conversation with Carol meandered.

Our respective childhoods, separated by 15 years, were so similar. We were both given buoys that kept us afloat during those times. When Carol was young, my parents lived in a flat below my grandparents. She would go up the stairs nightly to be fussed over by my then-young aunts, Mary, Lill, and Susie. They made her feel special and important. She felt that their influence significantly changed her life.

In turn, I had my friend John. We had known each other since kindergarten but became best friends, then brothers, in 6th grade. We were inseparable and saw each other every day. Our jobs were to support and take care of each other. To be there when times were tough. To high-five each other over successes. A role that we serve to this very day.

_________

“I don’t have any negative memories of Tommy; I just wish that I had had a relationship with him,” I told Carol. “Why did it all have to end that way?”  

__________

My mind flashed back to my senior year at NIU. I have mentally blocked how I got the news, but I intensely remember how I felt after receiving it… shocked, scared, and in a panic. My brother had developed a cold, and he couldn’t shake it. He had been ill for months and was tired and run down. Finally, he went to the doctor, and his diagnosis was terrifying; he had CML or Chronic Myeloid Leukemia. The good news was that this was one of the few cancers in the 1970s that had a fairly reasonable cure rate. New treatments were emerging, and he was going to be cared for at the University of Chicago Hospital, one of the best places in the nation.

Remission, then failed remission, then no remission. Endless bone marrow punctures, toxic chemotherapies, white blood cells centrifuged from our veins and stuck into his. My big, strong, bulky brother was transformed into a wisp of smoke. I recall helping him into a car, so we could drive him back to the U of C for another round of torture. We had secured his belt as tightly as we could, yet when he stood next to the car, his pants fell between his ankles. He was a walking skeleton.

My mind traveled to a regret that still haunts me today. Tom had developed an ileus while in the hospital and was on strict NPO (nothing by mouth). He was so dry that his lips were white and cracked. “Mike, please go to the fridge and sneak me a popsicle. I’m so dry… please!” This was before I ever considered medical school, and in my lack of knowledge, I felt that I could kill him if I disobeyed the doctor’s orders. I am distressed to this day that I didn’t get him that popsicle. 

Now I was in graduate school, learning about bacteria when I should have been learning about cancer. The knowledge that seemed so important to me became trivial. Why didn’t I know how to fix this problem?

And then the early-morning phone call came. After a year of suffering, my brother died. He was 32.

_______________

A thought flashed across Carol’s eyes. “I just remembered that I came across something that you may find useful,” she said as she started to rifle through her files. She handed me four yellowed handwritten sheets of paper.

The top of the sheets bore the letterhead of David J White and Associates, a company unknown to me. Below the letterhead were the words “Dear Michael Klina.” followed by a neat and almost feminine script scribed in black ink. I continued to read in puzzlement until a dim light bulb started to glow in my head. It was a letter written to me by my brother Tom while he was at work. The note was undated but sent to me at Christmastime when I was at NIU. I attended NIU during my junior and senior years, so it was sent in December sometime during that time. It is likely that he wrote the letter during my senior year, a few months before he was diagnosed with leukemia. 

The letter isn’t significant in content, which makes it all the more significant to me. It is a newsy letter, charming in its lack of any real news and full of inside jokes. There are several misspells of our last name, Kuna, four letters that were consistently mangled when our household received legal documents, adverts, magazines, and business letters. There is talk of Christmas shopping and his lack of funds because of it. There is a protective warning to me that gas stations would be closed over Christmas. There are inquiries about the mechanical reliability of my 1972 Ford Pinto, probably the worst car design of all time. Apparently, the chair of the Department of Chemistry had been reaching out to me about some sort of honors thing that Tom knew about, but I have no current memory. Tommy also made reference to my long-time friend, John, who was then my college roommate.  

He ended the letter in a jokingly formal “Thomas” and added his wife’s name for completeness. He mis-signed his last name four different ways, bringing his initial joke full circle, and finally concluded with a “Kilroy was here” doodle, a usual ending for an informal correspondence that he would send to anyone.   

The significance of the letter was in its insignificance. It was a note to a friend, an equal. The trauma of the last year of my brother’s life had completely made me forget the fact that we were finally connecting in a brotherly way. Yes, I wanted much more, but this was something. A random letter sent to me had somehow found its way into my sister’s files. Now, almost 50 years later, it was sent back to me to remind me that my brother Tommy did care about me. It was as if he found a way to tell me that he was looking out for me all of these years.

As I write this, I wonder if my departed brother had anything to do with the uncontrollable forces that made me leave grad school after my Master’s degree and apply to med school. A decision that seemed so foolish, bizarre, and out of context for rational me. Why would I feel compelled to do such a thing? Perhaps, the force that was guiding me was my heavenly brother, Tommy. Perhaps, he placed those four sheets of paper in my sister’s file so they could give me comfort decades later…Perhaps.

My dear brother, I wish we could have grown old together.

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

If you are a vandweller or adventurer, you know that there are a few things that you must have, and one of the most important is a source of power to run and charge your electronic devices. Many vandwellers have 12-volt fridges, fans, and lighting systems. All have devices that need to be charged.  

If your needs are simple, there are many small battery banks that will do the job. However, if you desire creature comforts, like a fridge, you will need a bigger battery system as well as a way to top off your battery. If your travels take you away from traditional campgrounds, your recharging system will most likely consist of solar panels.

In 2018 I purchased a new Ram Promaster and had a basic camper conversion done at Wayfarer Vans in Colorado Springs. This conversion gave me a functional camper, but I have spent the last four years adding and subtracting to its build, refining the design to fit my needs.

At the start of my van journey, I knew that I wanted a fridge, and I also knew that I would be doing a lot of boondocking. In 2018 most vandwellers who needed power cobbled together their own systems using AGM batteries, solar controllers, converters, inverters, and solar panels. I didn’t want this hassle, and there seemed to be a new option on the block, the solar generator.

Now common, these devices were fairly novel in 2018. However, the concept seemed perfect for me as everything needed for a full electrical system was available in a simple plug-and-play box. The big player in the 2018 market was Goal Zero, a Utah-based company that built quality products.  

My initial setup consisted of a Goal Zero 1250 Solar Generator (100 AH battery) and 300 watts of Renogy solar panels mounted on my campervan’s roof. I modified an existing storage bin in my van (A boot box) to become her power center. The Goal Zero did the job, but it had some significant drawbacks. Its 12-volt receptacle was not regulated, so I was always afraid that its voltage would drop and my fridge would turn off (this never happened in the two years that I used the unit). It used an AGM battery which was both enormously heavy and had a power usage limit of a maximum 50% percent draw, so its usable capacity was 50 AH, not 100 AH. In addition, AGM batteries have a limited number of recharge cycles. Lastly, charge time using any source was fairly slow for the Goal Zero.

I increased my battery capacity by daisy-chaining two more 100 AH AGM batteries giving me a usable capacity of 150 AH (50% of 300 AH), and I started to expand my electrical use. With this system, I could run a tiny microwave and use an induction burner at medium or lower power. I love the idea of free energy, and so my power needs expanded further by adding a Webasto heater (which uses power to run its fan) to the mix. 

With my Goal Zero system, I was able to get by, but I always had to be very mindful of exactly what I was doing. Worse was the weight of the system. The Goal Zero was so heavy that I needed help to lift it out of the battery box, and with two additional and very heavy AGM batteries jammed into the box, it was impossible to do any troubleshooting when I was solo and away from home. The answer to these problems came with Bluettii’s Indiegogo campaign for the AC200. I can’t remember the exact cost of the unit, but it was very reasonable at the time. I bought one, replaced the Goal Zero, and I haven’t looked back. I have had the AC200 since 2020, and I feel that I can give a fairly balanced review. Please note that the AC200 has been replaced by the AC200P, which is similar to my unit, but the battery was changed from Li to LifePO4 and increased in capacity from 1700 AH to 2000 AH.  

Pros of the Bluettii

-Quality build.

-Significantly lighter (around 60 pounds) compared to my old Goal Zero. I can easily lift it.

-Lithium batteries can be discharged to 10%, so my available power is the same as my previous three battery super-heavy system.

-The unit can use up to 700 watts of solar for faster charging. I increased my roof solar to 400 watts, which is the max that I can fit on the van’s roof.

-The AC brick charges significantly faster than my Goal Zero unit. At approximately 500 watts/hour.

-You can buy an additional charger and double your charge rate to around 1000 watts/hour.

-You can fully charge your unit in 3 to 3.5 hours. In real terms, charging to 100% is faster than that, as I never bring my battery down to 10%. 

-The 12-volt power supply is regulated, so I always have the correct voltage for my fridge and any other voltage-sensitive devices (like my Webasto heater).

-The unit has a 2000-watt pure sine wave inverter. I can run my induction burner at its full power without worry. Naturally, excessive use will quickly drain my battery.

-Induction charging pads are available on the top of the unit for phone charging (sadly, they don’t seem to work with my particular iPhone). 

-A 60-watt USB C port is available for charging small laptops or iPads.

-The display panel provides tons of information for the geek in me.

-The availability of a powerful inverter has opened up the world of free energy. I not only use an induction cooktop and microwave, but I also have a little Keurig-type coffee maker and even a small electric pressure cooker.  

Cons of the Bluetti

-The display is always on; you can’t turn it off. If you are light-sensitive, this could be a problem at night. Naturally, you can cover the display with something like an index card to darken it.

-The unit requires a higher voltage from solar instead of the 12 volts required by other units. I had to rewire my solar panels in series from parallel to give me around 48 volts of output. In itself, this isn’t a big deal. However, I carry some smaller battery banks that I can’t charge with my solar array because they require 12 volts. 

-My biggest concern with the Bluettii is phantom power loss. The unit has to be on to accept solar charging. In fact, if solar is plugged into the unit, it will switch itself on. If the unit is on with no load (both DC and AC power turned off), it will drop (on average) from 100% charge to about 90% in 24 hours. This is a very significant draw. If my battery charge is lower, the percentage drop is even greater. I have read about this phantom loss concern in Bluettii’s forum, so I know that it isn’t specific to my unit. I have also contacted Bluettii about it. The only option given was to turn off the unit, which is not always practical.  

If I’m running my fridge, I not only have to deal with the power usage from the fridge but also an additional 10%+ reduction from other sources. Those sources include the phantom loss and any overhead loss incurred by the unit’s voltage regulation circuitry.  

If the unit is completely turned off, it continues to lose power, but at a much slower rate. This is in contrast to other solar generators that I have used that will maintain a 100% charge for months when off. 

I can easily recoup the phantom loss if I have full sun exposure. In addition, I have a 2KW inverter connected to my car battery. If I am driving, I’ll switch the inverter on, which connects to the Bluettii’s AC brick allowing me to charge from both solar and AC.   

However, there have been times when this power loss has been an issue. I was recently camping for a weekend in a partially shaded area. I was stationary for the entire weekend. I was very conservative with my power use and only ran my Dometic fridge plus very light usage of my house lights. In addition, I used a 650-watt microwave (950-watt input) once for about 3 minutes during the entire weekend. I used a small battery bank to charge my phone (more convenient). I idled the car for about 25 minutes once during the weekend to power my car’s inverter to charge my Bluettii.  

Total time off-grid was from Friday at around 4 PM to Sunday around 11 AM. By Sunday, my battery was at 50%. This battery usage was acceptable but a bit troubling. If I was going to stay at that site any longer, I would have had to have moved the van into the direct sun (options were limited), or I would have had to go for a drive to charge the Bluettii via my car’s inverter.  

I hope that this phantom power loss has been eliminated in newer units. Ten percent is 170 watts of lost power. The lower the battery, the greater the percentage loss. For instance, at 50% capacity, I have 850 WH. A 170-watt loss is now 20% of my total capacity. This phantom loss was not present in my Goal Zero or smaller units (like my Jackery 500) that I use, so it is unclear why this is happening with my Bluettii unit.

Conclusion

There are so many things that I like about my Bluettii AC200. However, the phantom power loss is a concern; I have found workarounds for it. My favorite features (compared to my old Goal Zero 1250 system) are its lighter weight, smaller overall footprint, fast charging, and 2000-watt pure sine wave inverter.  

The Bluetti is competitively priced for a brand-named unit. However, there are now a number of no-name brands that are more reasonable. With that said, buying a no-name brand can be a bit of a crap shoot. I saw a review where a unit could not be turned off of eco-mode. It would turn off if it didn’t constantly have a draw on it. This could be a real problem using an intermittent draw device like a fridge. I watched another review of a different unit that didn’t allow for pass-through charging. In addition, no-name units often have very poor product support.  

If you are looking for a solar generator to complement your car or van setup, it is very reasonable to consider Bluetti. Mine has served me well since 2020.

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I believe that we all have interests and activities that are inherently natural for us as individuals. The physical exercise that best resonates with me is walking. I started walking several years ago, and it is something that I not only enjoy but also that I look forward to. However, if I don’t walk for several days, my formerly easy treks become tiring. I’m not too fond of that feeling. Insufferably hot days have challenged me; I typically walk during the late morning or early afternoon. Naturally, these are the highest temperature times for such escapades.

I checked my iPhone’s weather app and confirmed what I already knew. Today’s high temperature would be around 100F. Another sweltering day, it was time for a change of plans.

I’m a comfortable stroller. I love to listen to the sounds around me, smell the smells, and ambulate at a rate where it is easy to think, meditate, and say hello to those who cross my path.  

Lately, I have developed a habit of spending my early mornings writing, reading, and doing mundane tasks, like checking my email. However, today was a time to mix things up. After I woke up and cleaned up, I immediately got dressed. I had gotten some new trail runners for Father’s Day to replace my worn-out Asics hikers. So I slipped them on and went out the door. The temperature would be rising soon; it was time to move.

The air was warm and welcoming. Perhaps the humidity was too high, but a light breeze compensated for the increased moisture. The weather felt perfect.

I made my way to The Riverwalk and onto its paths. I was utterly alone. Perhaps the specter of the repressive weather report kept people away, or maybe it was the early weekday hour. I celebrated the scheduling freedom of my retirement as I put one foot in front of the other. I inhaled the sweet smells of flowers mixed with the green aroma of grass. Both tickled my nose and triggered camping memories. Birds chirped, and leaves rustled. Otherwise, all was quiet. Even the sounds of my footfalls were dampened by the thick rubber soles of my new Salomons. My steady pace continued. 

I love walking on The Riverwalk. Dirt paths, brick paths, grassy fields, and covered bridges. My times there feel like I am at a vacation destination, but today was special. I was walking in my private estate. I became lost in my thoughts yet acutely aware of my surroundings. The playground was empty; the beach was quiet. My walk continued over a covered bridge to the south side of the path. No one was at the paddle boat pond; the park benches were vacant. My walk continued. Peace washed over me.

Soon my loop was almost completed. I sat on a quiet bench to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. Then up, then walking, I continued. I exited Jefferson Avenue to find that the city was waking up. A few cars whizzed by me, and ahead was a man ambulating in my direction. My space, private no more; it had been mine for a few privileged moments—a period of exclusive beauty. A gift of nature was given to me because of a change in plans—a change with delightful consequences.

Do you ever get surprised when a simple change in your life gives you an unexpected benefit? I celebrate such discoveries. I choose to look at an obstacle as an opportunity. Life is often what we make of it. Having to change plans isn’t always negative; our attitude and acceptance can be the secret sauce to happiness.  

Peace.