It started over a decade ago, and I’m so glad it did. Before that, Julie and I had more traditional roles, but not for the reasons you may think, it was out of necessity.

When Julie was pregnant with Grace, we did the math. Julie was working part-time as a psychologist in my office, and when we contrasted her earnings with the cost of private childcare for two kids, it became evident that we would only be ahead by a few thousand dollars. That calculation didn’t account for the other costs that one incurs to survive working while raising a child. Of course, Julie could have gone full-time, but that had drawbacks.

We mutually decided that she would take a hiatus from work and focus on the family. In turn, I would become the sole breadwinner as I had more significant earning potential. I took that responsibility seriously and worked a ridiculous number of hours. Julie shouldered parenting and made a point to serve the kids a home-cooked meal most nights. This action plan continued for over a decade and was the right decision for our family.

Eventually, Julie returned to the workplace, and meals became slabs of Stouffer’s diners and boxes of frozen pizza. The kids were unhappy with this change, so they let us know. They wanted home cooking again. Julie was at her limit, but my schedule had opened up a bit. I have always been a confident cook, but I had released that role when I married Julie. It was now time for me to don my apron. 

I do  few things casually. If I were to resume meal prep, it would have to have a purpose other than filling bellies. I admit that at least one of my motivations was selfish. I’ll tell you about that reason next.

One of the issues that happens when you work 60-70 hours per week is that you are home less than you would like. I always came home right after work, but it would be late in the evening, and I would be emotionally spent. My family was a solid unit, but in many ways, it was as if I was standing outside the house and looking through a window at them. I wanted to forge a better connection with my kids, and cooking together could be the answer. Additionally, I knew that learning to cook would offer them many skills beyond poaching eggs. It is a complex discipline that has a plethora of learning opportunities.

I started “Cooking with Dad Thursdays.” If you were home on Thursday night, you would mix and chop right along with me.  

I wanted to teach my kids basic cooking skills and give them the confidence to tackle any recipe without fear. We focused on everything from adequately grilling a hamburger to making a smooth white sauce. In the process, I emphasized flexibility. We could omit or substitute something else if we didn’t have one ingredient. I also emphasized organization and “cleaning as you go.” Nothing deters cooking more than having to face a mountain of dishes post-meal. I wanted to teach them the benefits of making things from basic ingredients that could be fashioned into thousands of recipes. A cake mix can make a cake, but flour can make many things. I pushed for balance and frugality. One of our occasional indulgences is the humble Costco roasted chicken. You can’t beat its $5 price point. We would have one meal with the chicken, but I would save the carcass and make a cream of chicken soup a few days later. The kids preferred the soup to the chicken!

Along with meal prep, we made sure that we put the leftovers away, washed the dishes, and cleaned the table.

Over the years, we started cooking more days than just Thursday, and meal prep became a time that we looked forward to. As the kids became more proficient, it became easy to direct them, and at times, they directed me. We worked together as a team, an invaluable skill to have in life. We not only enjoyed making a meal, but we also loved sitting at the table as we ate, talked about our day, and laughed. 

Eighteen months ago, Julie became ill, and I went from cooking several days a week to making meals every day. I was capable of this responsibility, but it was a drag. Eventually, Julie took over Monday meal-making, but more needed to be done. The kids still helped me when I cooked, but it was time to turn over Wednesday nights completely to them. The three had to plan a menu, execute it, and clean up afterward. Would all of my efforts be in vain? 

If they wanted me to buy ingredients, I would do so. However, the vast majority of the time, they created meals from what we had on hand. Recently, I was especially impressed. Our larder was bare as I needed to go shopping. They assessed the situation and came up with a solution. We had the ingredients to make Dutch apple pancakes. However, we had never made them before; in fact, none of us had eaten a Dutch apple pancake. They read the ingredients, knew that the dinner would work, and proceeded ahead. Their efforts turned out great.

Lastly, it is not uncommon for them to pack leftovers for lunch while their peers spend their cash on going out to eat. Another frugal life skill!

So, why is teaching your kids how to cook a good idea?

1. It gives them a skill that they can use throughout their life.
2. It teaches frugality.
3. It teaches resourcefulness. 
4. It encourages confidence.
5. It teaches problem-solving.
6. It teaches organization.
7. It teaches teamwork.
8. It can create strong bonds and wonderful memories.

How can you beat that?  

Spend time with your kids. Teach them what you know. Use your teaching to expand their knowledge beyond the task at hand. Celebrate the simple things in life; they are the richest. 

Mike

Addendum: I’m sure some of you may feel that we should be cooking healthier or using more organic ingredients. If that is the case, I respectfully would like to say that you are missing the point of this post. However, you do you, and I accept you for who you are.