In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I have to confess something, but I bet you already know it. I’m a compulsive person who loves to compare things. If I have an interest in something, it is unlikely that I will own just one of those things. I’m compulsive, and I spent my professional career helping people recover from alcohol and drug addiction, so you may think that I have addictive problems. The two fit together like a hand in a glove.

However, the answer to the above question is no. I don’t like being out of control, and so drugs never appealed to me. I enjoy having a drink of alcohol or maybe even two at times. However, I tend to get hot and flushed with alcohol, and anything more than a small amount makes me feel queasy. Thankfully, drugs and alcohol have never been an issue in my life.  

Some may identify my compulsive behaviors as an addiction in its own right. However, most addictions have consequences: health problems, social problems, financial problems, or legal problems. My compulsion to compare things has added junk to my home. I am forever removing and adding more stuff to my collections, but stuff hasn’t caused me any of the above problems.  

If you have read my past posts, you know that I have struggled with my weight since grade school and have lost significant amounts of weight many times, only to gain it back again slowly. For many years, my problem was that I liked to eat. I was never a binge eater; I was always a grazer. A sandwich snack, then a few hours later, some crackers, and so it went.  

After chronically being on diets, I thought that I could no longer lose weight. However, circumstances combined around eight years ago, and once again, I lost a large amount of weight, and I kept it off for quite a while. However, COVID hit, and slowly, I regained it.  

Here is a piece of information: food no longer interests me; my weight gain was due to another factor. Let me clarify this first point. There are some foods that I like more than others, but none of them drives me to eat. I usually consume an average amount of food at a given meal, and I typically eat less than those around me. Even when genuinely hungry, I’ll quickly satiate before I finish my plate. I cook meals for my family, but I make the easiest foods when I only have to cook for myself. In those situations, I commonly have a can of soup or a bowl of Cream of Wheat for dinner, even when other foods are available. Why? Because they are easy to make, and frankly, I don’t care.  

You may be saying to yourself, “So you don’t like to eat, but you are gaining weight? Bull hockey!” Honestly, it is true. However, I haven’t told you the whole story. I do have one type of food that I compulsively eat, almost to the level that I would call an addiction.

When I lost weight the last time, I made many changes. Some, like exercise, I keep to this very day. However, when COVID hit, I started to return to my food nemesis-sugar. You see, I had given up concentrated forms of sugar for years. However, it was frequently on my mind despite the reality that not eating it made me feel physically better. I won’t sidetrack about sugar and inflammation at this point. Just let me say that sugar has very little nutritional value; in excessive amounts, it packs a damaging punch. This is despite what Harvard researchers Dr. Fredrick Stare and Mark Hegsted said. They promoted the idea that a calorie is just a calorie. After their deaths, it was discovered that they were shills of the sugar industry. Those little tricksters messed up an entire generation!

When I returned to sugar, I did it carefully, eating a small sweet after dinner. However, over time, sugar has become a bigger and bigger problem for me. If you gave me the option of a fabulous dinner at a highly-rated restaurant or a bowl of grocery store ice cream, I would likely go for the latter. Bacon and eggs for breakfast? I would rather have a slice of coffee cake. A burger and fries for lunch? No, give me a piece of pie. My drive to eat sugar borders on addiction as I clearly will give up more nutritious food choices for sugar choices, and at times, I feel powerless to do otherwise. I continue to eat sugar even though I know it is contributing to my weight gain and likely other problems.

I do not typically make New Year’s resolutions, but sometimes fate intervenes. Yesterday was New Year’s Eve, and I played games with my family. I don’t like playing games, which makes my family highly committed to having me do so. It must be a challenge for them. I often submit to their requests because it makes them happy. Oh, I just digressed, sorry.

The topic of New Year resolutions came up, and I mentioned that I would like to stop eating concentrated forms of sugar. Kathryn suggested that I give up sugar for the new year. I panicked and said that would be impossible. Grace offered some logical suggestions, as she often does. None of them resonated with me, as I felt I could not commit long-term. Giving up sugar forever felt like losing a best friend. Julie chimed in, and something she said clicked. She suggested that I give up concentrated forms of sugar for the month of January. That would be hard, but setting a time limit made it seem possible. Doing such would be like the “One day at a time” philosophy that alcoholics use. I will give up sugar for a month; beyond that, I’m making no further commitment at this time.

It begins today, January 1, 2024. I successfully avoided coffee cake while making my morning coffee. Still, Julie had some Rhodes cinnamon rolls rising on the counter. I love cinnamon rolls, so this will be another test. Thousands of tests will follow in the next 31 days. I think the “One day at a time” philosophy may be good for me to adopt.  

I find it fascinating that there are still ways that I can improve myself, even during retirement. I may be able to go past January with this commitment. I’ll have to re-evaluate it when that time comes. I’ll consider this resolution a success if I make it to February. Prayers and positive thoughts for this endeavor are happily accepted. Lord, grant me the wisdom to change the things that I can.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Mike