Hegemony And Quantum Mechanics

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

One of the advantages of being retired is that I can dip my toes into areas of study that would be impractical if I was still working. Then, focusing on learning things I needed to know was more important. Any leisure time was spent with family and on a few creative hobbies, with both add-ons necessary to keep me sane and centered. 

Free time isn’t free; it is a gift that can be utilized or squandered. It was so foreign that it took me several post-retirement years to adjust to it fully.

When I am inclined, I like to explore esoteric areas. Most recently, I have been studying the cosmos- the most gigantic structure we humans are aware of, and balancing that information with quantum mechanics and quantum wave theory, which are concerned with the smallest particles in nature. 

I must admit that my knowledge of either field is primitive, and even at my minuscule level of understanding, these topics are complicated and overwhelming. 

Our observable universe has trillions of galaxies; each has billions of star systems with planets. However, the actual universe is larger than our observable universe as the cosmos expanded at a speed greater than the speed of light at its inception. Because of this, some distant star’s light will never reach us. You are probably thinking, “But I thought nothing could go faster than the speed of light. Isn’t that what Einstein said in his theory of special relativity?” The speed of light is a fundamental constant in nature, but natural laws did not exist at the dawn of our universe. Those laws were established once light and matter came into being.

At the dawn of the universe, there were no long-lived elemental particles and certainty no atoms. The emerging universe was too hot to allow the creation of such things. As the universe cooled, subatomic particles formed that could join together to create hydrogen atoms, and with such formations, matter, as we know it, came into being. At the beginning of the universe, there was likely only one or two fundamental forces of nature that eventually separated into the four fundamental forces that govern the cosmos: electromagnetic, strong, weak, and gravitational. Physicists have been able to work backward and mathematically to join the electromagnetic, weak, and strong forces together. Still, they have yet to figure out how the gravitational force is part of a single elementary force model. 

The values of any of these forces could have been different when the universe was forming. If any of these value was even slightly altered, the universe and everything in it as we know it would not exist. That is an amazing realization. How did we get the perfect values necessary for matter and, in turn, for life to exist? There is no current way to determine this. Some may say that an all-powerful intelligence designed the universe; others may state that there have been infinite universes, and ours just happened to be the lucky one where the numbers worked out. This is where science breaks down into philosophy, at least for now. 

The universe is expanding, but we don’t know what it is expanding into. As our scientific tools become more sophisticated, more questions arise. Galaxies are spinning much faster than they should be, and the overall speed of the universe expanding is faster than what is calculable based on our measurements of the known matter and energy present in the universe. Something else is speeding things up. Physicists call these forces dark matter and dark energy, two things we can’t see or measure with our current technology. However, we believe they are present based on how they impact things we can see and measure. Further, we can determine that both exist in much greater quantity than the matter we can see and the energy we can measure. The majority of the universe is, therefore, invisible to us.

The idea that the universe is full of invisible things isn’t as far-fetched as it seems. Neutrinos are proven to be the most abundant particle in the universe (we can measure them), but they react poorly with classic matter, so they pass through it. About 100 trillion neutrinos pass through your body every second, and you are completely unaware of it. 

At the beginning of the universe, there was only energy. The universe rapidly expanded, and in the process, it cooled enough to form elementary particles, such as quarks, leptons, and gluons. As it cooled further, these elementary particles combined to form hydrogen atoms that served as stars’ fuel. In turn, the incredible energy and pressure of the stars formed helium and the other naturally occurring elements that make up our universe. These elements make up our oceans, skies, and land. It is amazing to realize that they also make up us. Why are we living while mountains are not? Another mystery.

The greatest scientist who ever lived was thought to be Sir Isaac Newton. His recognition of universal gravitation and his laws of motion became the foundation of physics. His formulas developed in the 1600s were accurate enough to guide Apollo 11 to the moon successfully. However, they were incomplete as they couldn’t accurately explain the movement of some things we could observe in nature.

It was possible to correctly model the orbits of all known planets in our solar system using Newton’s classical equations, except for the planet Mercury. A patent clerk named Albert Einstein solved this conundrum in the early 1900s. He developed theories that went beyond Sir Isaac Newton’s observational equations. It turns out that Newton’s equations are correct, but they only work in certain situations. In reality, they are a subset of Einstein’s broader concepts. Newton’s equations are not accurate when dealing with the extreme. Among Einstein’s brilliant ideas are his special and general theories of relativity. One concept from these discoveries is the concept of space-time. Space (as measured by height, width, and depth) and time are joined together. Time is not a constant but varies. An accurate clock in a satellite experiences time faster than an accurate clock on earth. Time is moving faster in your head than in your feet (as your head is farther away from the earth’s gravity). So your head is aging faster. However, this difference is so tiny that you would never know it. These theories are hard to conceptualize, but they have been proven to be correct many times in experiments. 

So why couldn’t classical physics (Newton’s equations) predict the orbit of Mercury? Huge objects, like the sun, can significantly warp space-time. Since Mercury is close to our massive sun, it is impacted more by this warping. That warping impacts Mercury’s orbit in a way not predicted by Newtonian (classic) physics, but it is perfectly calculated by Einstein’s equations. If an object has enough mass, it can even warp the path of light, even though light has no mass on its own. This has also been proven many times and is an accepted fact. Black holes warp space-time so much that massless light can’t escape a black hole, which is why they appear black. When it comes to how very large objects interact or things (like light) that move incredibly fast, our observable understanding of how things work (classical physics) fails, but Einstein’s theories on general and special relativity prevail.

What about things that are on a very tiny scale? Enter the world of quantum mechanics, which is even more bizarre than relativity. The quantum world operates by rules very different from the macro world. The quantum world behaves so strangely that Einstein felt that parts of quantum mechanics couldn’t be true. He sarcastically referred to one aspect of quantum mechanics as “spooky.” However, he was wrong, and quantum theory has been proven both mathematically and through scientific experiments. 

It is difficult to understand basic quantum mechanics because things react differently than what we experience in our macro world. We know that electrons circle the nucleus of an atom, but quantum theory says that we have no way of knowing exactly where an electron is as it can be everywhere and nowhere at any time. Its position only exists when we measure it as if measuring it pulls the electron into existence. Quantum theory also embraces the concept of entanglement. Let’s say two electrons were created together simultaneously as a pair. They will always react instantly to each other, no matter how far apart. If one is spinning to the right, the other will spin to the left even if the universe separates the electrons. Relativity says that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light, so entanglement must be connecting these electrons by some other method beyond our comprehension.  

In high school physics, we are taught that light can act as a wave (electromagnetic wave) and a particle (a photon). Quantum mechanics says the opposite is true: a particle (electron) can act as a wave. It all sounds pretty crazy, but quantum mechanics is one of the most proven theories in physics. Eventually, even Einstein had to admit that quantum mechanics was correct. Quantum mechanics has real uses too. Quantum mechanics makes possible many practical things, from lasers to solar cells. Scientists are developing computers based on quantum mechanics, and some experimental prototypes exist. A fully functioning quantum computer could perform complicated tasks exponentially faster than our current computers relying on classical principles. 

Large objects can be defined by general relativity (including Newton’s classic laws), and quantum mechanics defines tiny objects like atoms. Both disciplines work very well for their respective purpose. However, they are not compatible with each other. In other words, the two theories are not unified. Many physicists have tried to join these theories into a theory of everything but failed.

In addition, there are some situations where quantum mechanics break down. For instance, when a particle is approaching the speed of light. There is no consideration for speed in quantum mechanic equations making this theory incomplete.

There are now other theories that try to address the above problems. One is quantum field theory (different from quantum mechanics), which says that there are various fields that universality exists everywhere. These fields can have local areas of disturbance, and those peaks are what we observe as subatomic particles. Remember that subatomic particles form atoms, and atoms form everything in our known universe. 

Another theory is string theory and its cousin, M theory, where strings of vibrating energy create matter as we know it. For string theory to work, there must be other dimensions (beyond height, width, and dep or X, Y, and Z axes) in our universe. However, as humans, we can’t conceptualize such things as our world as an X, Y, Z world, not one with ten or more dimensions. 

The ontology of these two theories is different, but they explain the same thing. The problem with them is that they are not provable by any of our current methods of observation, so they are more philosophical rather than scientific. However, conceptually they are very interesting. We know that matter and energy are related by Einstein’s famous E =MC2 equation. The detonation of the atom bomb demonstrated that mass could be converted into energy. However, quantum wave and string theories suggest that energy can be converted into matter. In other words, everything we think of as matter is just fluctuating quantum fields or strings of energy (depending on what you ascribe to). Matter is just energy in a different form. Crazy, I know.

This brings to mind the movie, “The Matrix,” where people live in a synthetic computer-generated world so that machines can draw on human energy for their own nefarious reasons. Of course, that is science fiction. However, it is reasonable to think that all living things and the universe around us are just fluctuations in energy. Think about the complexity of that! It also implies that we are all joined together in some way which could explain certain phenomena that exists but doesn’t fit into a classic scientific model. How did all of this happen? God? Chance? Other? I’ll leave that for you to ponder.

Science Vs. Religion

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

As a scientist and a Christian, I have never had difficulty reconciling the two.  However, many others feel differently.  This has been confusing to me and also troubling.  Troubling as some feel that these two areas are mutually exclusive of each other. In other words, if you believe in one, you must denigrate the other.  

For many, a belief in a Higher Power is integrated with a particular faith system or religion.  I grew up when mainstream religions were dominant. In those days, science and religion were neither integrated nor mutually rejected.  You didn’t have to pick sides.

This attitude changed as evangelical and fundamental denominations grew in popularity and power.  Evangelical and fundamental denominations believe in the inerrant interpretation of the Bible, with fundamentalists emphasizing the accuracy of Biblical timelines.  For instance, the belief that all life on earth was created in six days and that the earth was formed 6,000-10,000 years ago.  This contrasts the scientific understanding that life evolved over 3.7 billion years, and the earth is 4.5 billion years old. 

The rejection of science is not only a Christian fundamentalist phenomenon but can be seen in non-Christian religions.  The middle east was the progressive seat of learning well ahead of Europe until around 1500 AD when scientific ideas became blasphemous.  

Recently, certain groups have been hostile toward basic and applied science.  Gurus rallied their charges against vaccines using pseudo-science, and individuals violently rejected community health orders to wear masks during the COVID pandemic. Some religious individuals’ reactions may be due to science types who wholly and vocally reject any belief in God and ridicule those who do believe.  Lines in the sand are being drawn to the detriment of all.

There are multiple examples of conflicts when literally interpreting the Bible and then comparing that interpretation with scientific knowledge.  Natural selection vs. intelligent design is one prominent controversy. Some religious argue that evolution is “just a theory,” but this shows a lack of understanding.  It is a theory in scientific terms rather than common language terms.  It is not a hunch but broadly accepted and well-supported by available data.  

Elly, of the Ex-Fundie Diaries YouTube channel, remembers her fundamentalist education via home and church schools.  Science is a state-required part of any educational curriculum, but her science experience was anything but scientific.  For instance, If a science unit was on weather, she was instructed to find passages in the Bible about storms and floods. Why wasn’t she taught science? If you keep people ignorant about science, it is easy to convince them that it is wrong and evil. 

During the pandemic, I talked to an intelligent Amish man, and the topic turned to COVID.  I dreaded this turn as I had some idea where the conversation would go.  Amish are educated until the 8th grade, but that was not the problem.  His only source of current information was his church bishop and deacon. His knowledge of infectious diseases and COVID, in particular, was extremely limited. Any attempt on my part to offer insight (as a physician and microbiologist) was rejected and viewed with suspicion.  I changed the topic.

As humans, it is easy to silo ourselves with other like-minded individuals. Information is passed down from leaders to followers.  If a follower hears only one line of thinking, it becomes their truth, even if that truth is completely false.  It is easier to fall into one of these traps than you think.  Groups can be formed in many different ways beyond religions.  Those who exclusively watch CNN or Fox News would be just one example, but groups with shared erroneous beliefs can happen anywhere.  

Religious groups may cite the many times that science has been wrong.  They are completely correct, but their assumption misses the point of what science is. Science attempts to understand observations.  Why does an apple fall from a tree?  How fast does it fall? Does it accelerate or slow down when falling? A hypothesis is formed to explain an observation, which is then tested.  If the explanation pans out, the information is shared with others, who test it to see if their findings concur. If the answer is yes, then the hypothesis is accepted. However, the hypothesis may be modified or corrected as new information or observations become available.  The goal is to come up with the truth. That is how science works.

Most are more interested in using their cell phone (a scientific marvel) than understanding string theory (a scientific theory).  It is much easier to accept science when it is giving you something. 

Very conservative religious groups accept scientific advancements when those advancements benefit them. The Amish man I mentioned above owns a furniture factory.  Amish believers profess to disconnect from society to be closer to God. They don’t attach to the electric grid, drive automobiles, or use other common conveniences.  However, in today’s era rejecting practical science make business competition difficult.  The Amish man’s factory was full of modern equipment powered with electricity, but his workaround was to use his generator instead of connecting to the power grid.  In addition, many homes I saw in his area had solar panels on their roofs. By being a little flexible, these Amish folks found a way to hold onto their traditional values while benefiting from modern technology. 

That is an extreme example, but it illustrates that it is almost impossible to reject science and live in a modern world.  Electric power, antibiotics, computers, the Internet, and so much more are available because of science. I find it amusing to watch a YouTube video that rails against science while recording sound and video using devices that only exist because of science.

However, science can not answer every aspect of existence.  There is plenty of room in the universe for believers of a Higher Power. There is an order of things on every level, from subatomic particles to the way that galaxies group together.  The chances of all of this randomly occurring are astronomical. In a universe as huge as ours, there are likely beings far superior to us and would therefore be godlike to us.  Lastly, there is no reason to refute the idea that some larger force had a hand in creating the universe. Being unable to test something doesn’t make the idea false. We all accept that gravity waves exist, but it took us until 2015 to be able to measure them.

Beyond believing, having a spiritual life is important. Individuals with a spiritual life have a sense of purpose, security,  and well-being. Who doesn’t want that? Faith doesn’t have to be proven; it just needs to be believed.

When religious leaders demand that a follower believe something that seems contrary to the world around them, it weakens faith, not strengthens it.  Such expectations are likely a reason why people leave religions.  By demanding robot-like compliance, the real message of most religions is lost. Is it necessary to believe that God is some old white dude with a flowing beard?  It is more likely that God exists in a form that is incomprehensible to us. 

In the Old Testament, Abraham was 100 years old, and Sarah was 90 when Issac was born. The average person lived 35 years when Jesus was alive and likely less during Abraham’s life, who lived 18 centuries earlier. Does the above story make literal sense?  I think it is more of a metaphor that God keeps his promises.  However, just stating that is pretty boring, it is much more memorable when attached to a lesson. 

Science has its dark side, and I see how some would want to reject aspects of it based on that.  My view is to embrace the good that science gives us.  Basic research provides us with the knowledge that turns into practical advancements.  I am also comfortable with the concept of God, a supreme being who has an active interest in our individual lives.  However, this belief is based on faith, not fact. I’m fine with that uncertainty.  The idea of being forced to say that I believe in the Bible verbatim is completely unnecessary.  I don’t need to believe that all life was created in 6 days or that barren Sarah was 90 years old when she gave birth to Issac.  Instead, I can look past concrete concepts and explore their real embedded message.   

Misfit?

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

As you may know, I am fascinated with Nomadic life.  In 2018, with the help of my friend Tom, I built out a Ram Promaster van and transformed it into Violet the campervan.  With Violet, I have gone on many adventures.  However, there was one that I delayed for years.  That adventure was to camp on desert BLM land, and to attend the RTR or Rubber Tramp Rendezvous. This is a huge meetup for Nomads.  I accomplished that goal this year and I would like to tell you about some aspects of it.

The RTR attracts a certain subgroup of Nomads.  Yes, just like any other group there are different types of Nomads.  

There are the RVers.  These are often retired couples or individuals, and homeschooler types who usually have financial resources.  They travel in fancy 5th wheels and modern RVs.  

There are also adventure Nomads who may live in just about anything.  These folks look at their home on wheels as necessary housing as they pursue an outdoor passion such as skiing or rock climbing.  

There is the Instagram crowd living in decked-out Sprinter vans or perhaps refurbished fancy Volkswagon microbuses.  This group attracts young, good-looking couples who travel for fun and fund their touring with their social media channels.  If you see a thumbnail of an attractive woman taking a shower wearing a scanty bikini you have found an Instagram Nomad.

The RTR group is different, more gritty, and more real. Bob Wells didn’t start this movement, but his active participation in it has made him its defacto voice.  To get a better feeling for RTR Nomads it is useful to get a better understanding of Bob.

Bob was a typical guy living in Alaska with his wife and kids.  He worked at a grocery store and made enough money to support his family.  In 1995 he divorced and did not have the resources to keep two residences afloat.  He moved into an empty box van.  Bob admits that this was a move of desperation and that he was feeling pretty sorry for himself.  He was depressed and felt that he was a failure.  Alaska can be brutally cold and Bob had to adapt to his new life quickly. Using previous knowledge and trial and error, he was able to transform his dismal living situation into a workable habitat.  Bob has lived in many different vehicles since 1995 and has a tremendous knowledge of what works and what doesn’t work in van life.

Slowly, he realized that his new lifestyle was a gift that gave him a newfound freedom, made him more centered, and provided him with inner peace.  In 2005 he started a website called “Cheap RV Living” to share his ideas.  Later, he started a YouTube Channel where he offers practical tips for Nomads, as well as interviews with Nomads that included tours of their rigs. Some rigs were works of art, others consisted of a mat on the floor of a minivan.  However, just like sticks and bricks homeowners, Nomads have pride in their domiciles.  Bob always sincerely compliments rig owners, and they universally beam their appreciation back to him.  Other YouTube channels share tips and tricks as part of their feed, but this has been a consistent objective for Cheap RV Living.  Bob has helped countless travelers, including myself, with his practical and practiced knowledge.

He started the RTR some years ago and before the pandemic over 10,000 people attended. During COVID the RTR went digital, offering classes and community online.  However, there is no substitute for meeting in person.  The RTR has practical seminars on everything from how to travel to Mexico as a Nomad, to how to deal with chronic illness on the road.  The RTR is free and was holly funded by Bob.  Several years ago Bob and his friend Sue Ann created HOWA (Home On Wheels Alliance) to further help Nomads.  HOWA now organizes and funds the RTR along with an army of Nomad Volunteers.  The RTR is run by people who live in their vehicles and who are often separated from each other by a thousand miles.  By the nature of their lives, they do not have significant financial resources.  With that said, the RTR’s logistics were as good as any expensive conference that I attended.  Honestly, in some ways, it was run better.  

Although the RTR is just one of many activities that HOWA organizes, it is very complicated.  Volunteers monitored message boards, directed parking, adjusted sound/video equipment, led panel discussions, provided security, and supervised the give-and-take tables where Nomads could leave things for others to take for free.  Nomads have little but are very willing to share so that others can have more.

Who are the RTR-type Nomads?  I talked to many, but not all so I can only give you my limited impression.  I think that it may dispel some preconceived views that you could have of them.  Like Bob, many vehicle dwellers started their journey due to circumstances.  They had few options. They live in every type of vehicle imaginable.  High-top vans, old conversion vans, cargo vans, retrofitted ambulances, ancient school buses, SUVs, and small sedans. 

The bulk of the individuals that I met were in their 50s and 60s.  However, I did talk to some that were in their 30s and others in their 70s.  The vast majority would blend in with any crowd.  Think about the people that you would see at a big box store-Walmart or Home Depot.  Most would be wearing functional, but not stylish clothing.  That is how the vast majority of Nomads dress.  

Many Nomad men sport bushy beards or have a few days of stubble.  Many Nomad women don’t wear makeup.  Both of these positions are most likely due to the practical nature of van dwelling.  You don’t have endless supplies of water or endless amounts of discretionary cash.  However, every person that I met looked clean, and no one smelled bad.  I mention these facts as I’m sure that some may be wondering.  And yes, folks brushed their teeth.

Speaking of teeth, that was heartbreaking.  It wasn’t uncommon to run into older Nomads who had prominent missing teeth or no teeth.  I have worked with low-resource individuals for much of my life and I can assure you that poor dentition is almost always because of a lack of funds.  I recently had a simple filling replace-it cost me $300.  Later this month I’ll have my teeth cleaned-that will cost at least $150, likely more if anything extra is added.  When you are living on a limited income you can’t afford dental care and the older you get the greater the impact that this lack of care has on your teeth. The ability to chew is paramount to good health.  However, few insurance policies cover this type of healthcare.  I think that is criminal. 

Naturally, there were some outliers in the group.  I saw several people living in vans who were wheelchair-bound.  What amazing courage to live an independent Nomadic life without the use of your legs.  These folks were traveling in regular vans, without chair lifts or other accommodations.  One, by the name of Kat, was volunteering at an information table.  

Some individuals were tremendously overweight.  A few others were on the eccentric side.  Some wear mismatched clothing, others sporting unusual hats, and one individual donning a homemade fez and a homemade coat/bathrobe made of that felt-like material that people made blankets out of a few years back. The eccentric were in the minority, and likely represented a percentage no different than in the general population. 

I talked to one man who lived in an apartment by sharing costs with his wife.  She became ill and eventually died at which point he could no longer afford their apartment.  A tiny elderly woman (under 5 feet) had been an overland truck driver.  She is now living on less than $700/month of social security.  She has been boondocking in Quartzite since November and despite her financial woes, she volunteers at a local church’s free meal program providing food for those who can’t afford it. Other individuals suffered from debilitating chronic illnesses (physical and mental).  They found that leaving the rat race gave them the peace that they needed to start the healing process.  Still, others simply rejected the expectations of society that demanded that they work a meaningless job until they dropped dead. Some of those individuals work seasonal jobs or make a living with small online businesses.  One man, who was living in a Prius, buys local gemstones and resells them. 

Every single person that I talked to was kind.  Most seemed intelligent and chatty.  All seemed willing to help.  I liked my interactions with them.  Were these misfits of society?  That question leads me to Bob Well’s talk on his philosophy of being a Nomad.

Bob’s talk covered many different areas, and I will only focus on a few.  Mainly the needs of the individual vs the needs of society.  

Bob believes that early humans lived the way that wolves and elephants live today.  They liked to socialize and work together, but they retain their individuality. They accepted nature and adapted to survive in it.  They only used those resources necessary to live.  They lived within the confines of what nature offered them. They did not try to alter nature for their own will. They were generous with each other and in doing so they built connections that would help all.  He believes that this is the way that we were meant to live.

Society has different expectations of the individual. Society wants us to live more like ants or bees. In essence, there are no individuals, rather we are all cogs in a bigger machine. Society wants us to produce for the betterment of society.  Most of us are expendable.  The more we produce the more we are expected to produce.  Jobs can be meaningless to the individual as long as it benefits the greater progress of the group.  The focus is on productivity rather than relationships and personal growth.  Most individuals are stuck in the class that they were born into.  If you are a worker, you will most likely remain a worker.  As productivity is king the individual’s well-being is unimportant. Endless unfulfilling work leads to stress-related illness and addiction. Purchasing things is necessary to fuel the economy and becomes an artificial and unsatisfying reward for the worker.  Social relationships are difficult to maintain due to the intrinsic stress of long work hours spent in unsatisfying jobs. Power and money need to be kept by those in control and are not shared with others.  Generosity is discouraged.  Consumption and wealth are glorified. If you have something you want more of it, you don’t want to share it.  

Society does not promote harmony with nature, it demands the opposite.  An example is modern farming.  To successfully farm a field most intrinsic life in the field must be killed.  Insects, animals, plants.  These things become pests and weeds.  Society does not live within the confines of nature, it tried to rule nature-often with terrible consequences. 

For many, modern life promotes both mental and physical illness secondary to endless and meaningless work, the breakdown of social connections, and the disregard for the greater ecological system (nature).  People who question society are labeled negatively as misfits-they don’t fit in.  The need for compliance is so great that misfits must be shunned and their lifestyles ridiculed.  

Many of you who are reading this may be objecting to this observation.  You may believe that society is necessary and you may be now listing all of the great things that society has created.  It is also true that Nomads depend on society to survive.  Nomads are not hunters and gatherers.  They drive vehicles that need gas.  They shop at grocery stores.  They wear clothing woven in factories.

The idea here is balance and the idea that one type of lifestyle does not fit all.  In many ways, Nomads are less misfitted than those who comply with societal rules, as they are living in better harmony with themselves and the world around them. They consume less, pollute less, and spend less.  They live more in nature and accept what nature offers. They are more generous with each other.  They help each other.  Roles and positions of prestige are dramatically reduced.  At the RTR it seemed that everyone was treated equally.  No one was judged based on their possessions, physical appearance, age, or health. People were accepted for who they were and everyone was given a chance to be heard.

All of this made me reflect on my own life and if I was a misfit or if I fit.  There are so many ways that I’m a misfit.  I’m dyslexic, I have other processing problems, I’m blind in one eye, I have terrible coordination, I have a fear of heights, I’m a shy introvert, I think differently than most people, and I’m an obsessive problem solver.  Although I am different I have always wanted to fit in so I have adopted behaviors to make that happen.  I know how to talk, interact, and dress to blend in.  There are many times that I hold back my opinions as I don’t want to appear to be “too smart.” Smart people are often viewed with suspicion. Overall, I have been successful in this charade.  

One area where I have been less successful has been in my weight.  I have always been overweight and I have spent (literally) tens of thousands of dollars to control my weight.  I have lost hundreds of pounds through the years, only to regain the weight back again. Our society hates overweight people.  This is odd to me as most individuals in the US are now considered overweight.  I have always been self-conscious of my weight and work hard to have people see me as a person, not a fat person. However, it has been difficult.

Among the Nomads I had no such feeling.  If I could accept them, they could accept me.  Acceptance is one of the most important gifts that we can give any person.  However, many are better at passing out judgment.  

Yes, I’m a “misfit” who has successfully faked being a “fit.”  But that experience has made me acutely aware of others who are in marginalized groups.  In our society, the highest value is placed on healthy white Christian males.  Other groups are now included, but they still hold lesser positions.  Women come to mind, and there is some marginal inclusion of ethnic groups such as blacks and Hispanics.  However, that inclusion is very conditional.  If you can act like a white Christian male you may be given a seat at the table.

The less power a group has the more it is rejected.  Asians have contributed immensely to our country but were easily villainized during the COVID pandemic.  Religious groups, like Muslims and Jews, may be openly mocked.  It is acceptable for individuals with any type of imperfection or disability to be ridiculed or even attacked without provocation.

However, it is always the smallest and most defenseless groups that are targeted for the greatest hate.  There are many examples, but one of the most obvious is the heterogeneous compilation that we identify as LGBTQ+.  Overall, this is a small group in society.  Most LGBTQ+ individuals are just trying to live their lives and only a rare few are bad actors.  However, the amount of propaganda against this faction of the population is astounding. It is even more shocking when legislators are allowed to subject a group of citizens to laws that deny them the freedoms that everyone else accepts as the norm.

Highlighted here is the act of marriage.  Why is same-sex marriage such a big deal? Marriage is a legal (and sometimes religious) covenant between two people. It affords certain rights and benefits, and it signifies a willingness of both parties to commit to each other. There have always been laws that prevented people from marrying someone based on someone else’s bias.  Laws outlawing marriage between blacks and whites come to mind.

We hold the act of marriage in high regard. However, traditional marriage can be far from that.  Individuals break their vows to each other. Individuals divorce.  Physical violence, addiction, psychological torture, obsessive control, and so many other abominations occur in traditional marriage, and yet we accept these unions as somehow driven by God. We use our personal religious beliefs to restrict the rights of others who may not hold those same beliefs.  We interpret (with emphasis on interpreting) our holy writings to fit our needs-even if those interpretations are against the basic concepts of Christianity.  Christianity is about love, acceptance, forgiveness, and inclusion.  Why are so many Christians focus on hate, rejection, exclusion, and damnation?  Why do we have to be so “special” that only we can have rights that we deny others?

I saw the opposite among the Nomads.  Everyone was accepted on their merits.  Women traveling together as couples, toothless men, morbidly overweight Nomads, it didn’t matter. People were not prejudged based on some synthetic construct.  They were accepted or rejected for who they were.

I think that I’m not the only misfit out there who is good at pretending to be a “fit.”  Wouldn’t it be great if we could be who were are, and be accepted for that?  The world may be slightly less productive, but I believe that it would also be a lot more creative and balanced. Diversity always leads to new ideas and growth. A lesson understood by a random pack of Nomads, but still rejected by a society that should know better.

——-

Rewrite

As you may know, I am fascinated with Nomadic life. So in 2018, with the help of my friend Tom, I built out a Ram Promaster van and transformed it into Violet the campervan. With Violet, I have gone on many adventures. However, there was one that I delayed for years. That trip was to camp on desert BLM land and to attend the RTR or Rubber Tramp Rendezvous. This is a massive meetup for Nomads. I accomplished that goal this year, and I would like to tell you about some aspects of it.

The RTR attracts a certain subgroup of Nomads. Yes, just like any other group, there are different types of Nomads.  

There are the RVers.  These are often retired couples or individuals and homeschoolers who usually have financial resources. They travel in fancy 5th wheels and modern RVs.  

There are also adventure Nomads who may live in just about anything. These folks view their home on wheels as necessary housing as they pursue an outdoor passion such as skiing or rock climbing.  

The Instagram crowd live in decked-out Sprinter vans or perhaps refurbished fancy Volkswagon microbuses. This group attracts young, good-looking couples who travel for fun and fund their touring through social media channels. So if you see a thumbnail of an attractive woman taking a shower wearing a scanty bikini, you have found an Instagram Nomad.

The RTR group is different, more gritty, and more natural. Bob Wells didn’t start this movement, but his active participation in it has made him its defacto voice. So it is helpful to understand Bob better to get a better feeling for RTR Nomads.

Bob was a typical guy living in Alaska with his wife and kids. He worked at a grocery store and made enough money to support his family. In 1995 he divorced and did not have the resources to keep two residences afloat. He moved into an empty box van. Bob admits that this was a move of desperation and that he was feeling pretty sorry for himself. He was depressed and thought that he was a failure. Alaska can be brutally cold, and Bob had to adapt quickly to his new life. Using previous knowledge and trial and error, he was able to transform his dismal living situation into a workable habitat. Bob has lived in many different vehicles since 1995 and has a tremendous knowledge of what works and doesn’t work in van life.

Slowly, he realized that his new lifestyle was a gift that gave him a newfound freedom, made him more centered, and provided him with inner peace. In 2005 he started a website called “Cheap RV Living” to share his ideas. Later, he started a YouTube Channel where he offered practical tips for Nomads and interviews with Nomads that included tours of their rigs. Some rigs were works of art; others consisted of a mat on the floor of a minivan. However, just like sticks and bricks homeowners, Nomads have pride in their domiciles. Bob always sincerely compliments rig owners, and they universally show appreciation to him. Other YouTube channels share tips and tricks as part of their feed, but this has been a consistent objective for Cheap RV Living. Bob has helped countless travelers, including myself, with his practical and practiced knowledge.

He started the RTR some years ago, and before the pandemic, over 10,000 people attended. During COVID, the RTR went digital, offering classes and community online. However, there is no substitute for meeting in person. The RTR has practical seminars on everything from traveling to Mexico as a Nomad to dealing with chronic illness on the road. The RTR is free and was holly funded by Bob. Several years ago, Bob and his friend Sue Ann created HOWA (Home On Wheels Alliance) to help Nomads further. HOWA now organizes and funds the RTR and an army of Nomad Volunteers. The RTR is run by people who live in their vehicles and who are often separated from each other by a thousand miles. By the nature of their lives, they have few financial resources. That said, the RTR’s logistics were as good as any expensive conference I attended. Honestly, it was run better.  

Although the RTR is just one of many activities that HOWA organizes, it isn’t very easy. Volunteers monitored message boards, directed parking, adjusted sound/video equipment, led panel discussions, provided security, and supervised the give-and-take tables where Nomads could leave things for others to take for free. Nomads have little but are willing to share so that others can have more.

Who are the RTR-type Nomads? I talked to many, but not all, so I can only give you my limited impression. It may dispel some preconceived views that you could have of them. Like Bob, many vehicle dwellers started their journey due to circumstances. They had few options. They live in every type of vehicle imaginable. High-top vans, old conversion vans, cargo vans, retrofitted ambulances, old school buses, SUVs, and small sedans. 

The bulk of the individuals that I met were in their 50s and 60s. However, I did talk to some in their 30s and others in their 70s. The vast majority would blend in with any crowd. Think about the people you would see at a big box store, Walmart or Home Depot. Most would be wearing functional but not stylish clothing. That is how the vast majority of Nomads dress.  

Many Nomad men sport bushy beards or have a few days of stubble. Many Nomad women don’t wear makeup. Both of these positions are likely due to the practical nature of van dwelling. Of course, it would help if you had endless water supplies or infinite amounts of discretionary cash. However, everyone I met looked clean, and no one smelled terrible. I mention these facts as some may be wondering. And yes, folks brushed their teeth.

Speaking of teeth, that was heartbreaking. It wasn’t uncommon to run into older Nomads who had prominent missing teeth or no teeth. I have worked with low-resource individuals for much of my life, and I can assure you that poor dentition is almost always because of a lack of funds. I recently had a simple filling replace-it cost me $300. Later this month, I’ll have my teeth cleaned- which will cost at least $150, likely more if anything extra is added. When you are living on a limited income, you can’t afford dental care, and the older you get, the more significant the impact this lack of maintenance has on your teeth. The ability to chew is paramount to good health. However, only some insurance policies cover this type of healthcare. I think that is criminal. 

Naturally, there were some outliers in the group. I saw several people living in vans that were wheelchair-bound. What incredible courage to live an independent Nomadic life without the use of your legs. These folks were traveling in regular vans; no chair lifts or other accommodations. One, by the name of Kat, was volunteering at an information table.  

Some individuals were tremendously overweight. A few others were on the eccentric side. Some wear mismatched clothing, others sporting unusual hats, and one donning a homemade fez and a coat/bathrobe made of that felt-like material that people made blankets out of a few years back. The eccentric were in the minority and likely represented a percentage no different than the general population. 

I talked to one man who lived in an apartment by sharing costs with his wife. She became ill and died and he could no longer afford their apartment. A tiny older woman (under 5 feet) had been an overland truck driver. She lives on less than $700/month of social security. She has been boondocking in Quartzite since November, and despite her financial woes, she volunteers at a local church’s free meal program providing food for those who can’t afford it. Other individuals suffered from debilitating chronic illnesses (physical and mental). They found that leaving the rat race gave them the peace they needed to start the healing process. Still, others rejected the expectations of society that demanded that they work a meaningless job until they died. Some individuals work seasonal jobs or made a living with small online businesses. One man, living in a Prius, buys local gemstones and resells them. 

Every single person that I talked to was kind. Most seemed intelligent and chatty. All seemed willing to help. I liked my interactions with them. Were these misfits of society? That question leads me to Bob Well’s talk on his philosophy of being a Nomad.

Bob’s talk covered many different areas, and I will only focus on a few. Mainly the needs of the individual vs. the needs of society.  

Bob believes that early humans lived the way wolves and elephants live today. They liked to socialize and work together, but they retained their individuality. They accepted nature and adapted to survive in it. They only used those resources necessary to live. They lived within the confines of what nature offered them. They did not try to alter nature for their own will. They were generous with each other, and in doing so, they built connections that would help all. He believes that this is the way that we were meant to live.

Society has different expectations of the individual. Society wants us to live more like ants or bees. In essence, there are no individuals. Instead, we are all cogs in a bigger machine. Society wants us to produce for the betterment of society. Most of us are expendable. The more we produce, the more we are expected to produce. Jobs can be meaningless to the individual as long as it benefits the greater progress of the group. The focus is on productivity rather than relationships and personal growth. Most individuals are stuck in the class that they were born into. If you are a worker, you will most likely remain a worker. As productivity is king, the individual’s well-being is unimportant. Endless unfulfilling work leads to stress-related illness and addiction. Purchasing things is necessary to fuel the economy and becomes an artificial and unsatisfying reward for the worker. Social relationships are difficult to maintain due to the intrinsic stress of long work hours spent in unsatisfying jobs. Power and money need to be kept by those in control and are not shared with others. Generosity is discouraged. Consumption and wealth are glorified. If you have something you want more of it. 

Society does not promote harmony with nature; it demands the opposite. An example is modern farming. To successfully farm a field, the intrinsic life in the area must be killed. Insects, animals, plants. These things become pests and weeds. Society does not live within the confines of nature; it tries to rule nature-often with terrible consequences. 

For many, modern life promotes mental and physical illness secondary to endless and meaningless work, the breakdown of social connections, and the disregard for the greater ecology (nature). People who question society are labeled negatively as misfits-they don’t fit in. The need for compliance is so great that misfits must be shunned and their lifestyle ridiculed.  

Many of you who are reading this may be objecting to this observation. You may believe that society is necessary, and you may now list all of the great things that society has created. It is also true that Nomads depend on society to survive. Nomads are not hunters and gatherers. They drive vehicles that need gas. They shop at grocery stores. They wear clothing woven in factories.

The idea here is balance and the idea that one type of lifestyle does not fit all. In many ways, Nomads are less misfitted than those who comply with societal rules, as they live in better harmony with themselves and the world around them. They consume less, pollute less, and spend less. They live more in nature and accept what nature offers. They are more generous with each other. They help each other. Roles and positions of prestige are dramatically reduced. At the RTR, everyone was treated equally. No one was judged based on possessions, physical appearance, age, or health. People were accepted for who they were, and everyone was allowed to be heard.

All of this made me reflect on my life and whether I was a misfit or fit. There are many ways that I am a misfit. I’m dyslexic, I have other processing problems, I’m blind in one eye, I have terrible coordination, I have a fear of heights, I’m a shy introvert, I think differently than most people, and I’m an obsessive problem solver. Although I am different, I have always wanted to fit in, so I have adopted behaviors to make that happen. I know how to talk, interact, and dress to blend in. Many times, I hold back my opinions as I don’t want to appear “too smart.” Intelligent people are often viewed with suspicion. Overall, I have been successful in this charade.  

One area where I have been less successful has been in my weight. I have always been overweight and have spent (literally) tens of thousands of dollars to control my weight. As a result, I have lost hundreds of pounds through the years, only to regain them. Our society hates fat people. This is odd to me as most individuals in the US are now considered overweight. I have always been self-conscious of my weight and work hard to have people see me as a person, not a fat person. However, it has not been easy.

Among the Nomads, I had no such concerns. If I could accept them, they could accept me. Acceptance is one of the most important gifts we can give anyone. However, many are better at passing out judgment.  

Yes, I’m a “misfit” who has successfully faked being a “fit.” But that experience has made me acutely aware of others who are in marginalized groups. Our society places the highest value on healthy white Christian males. Other groups are now included, but they still hold lesser positions. Women come to mind, and there is some marginal inclusion of ethnic groups such as blacks and Hispanics. However, that inclusion is very conditional. If you act like a white Christian male, you may be given a seat at the table.

The less power a group has, the more it is rejected. Asians have contributed immensely to our country but were easily villainized during the COVID pandemic. Religious groups, like Muslims and Jews, may be openly mocked. It is acceptable for individuals with any imperfection or disability to be ridiculed or even attacked without provocation.

However, the most minor and most vulnerable groups are always targeted for the most hate. There are many examples, but one of the most obvious is the heterogeneous compilation that we identify as LGBTQ+. Overall, this is a small group in society. Most LGBTQ+ individuals are just trying to live their lives, and only a few are bad actors. However, the amount of propaganda against this faction of the population is astounding. It is even more shocking when legislators are allowed to subject a group of citizens to laws denying them the freedoms everyone else accepts as the norm.

Highlighted here is the act of marriage. Why is same-sex marriage such a big deal? Marriage is a legal (and sometimes religious) covenant between two people. It affords certain rights and benefits, and it signifies a willingness of both parties to commit to each other. There have always been laws that prevented people from marrying someone based on someone else’s bias. Laws outlawing marriage between blacks and whites come to mind.

We hold the act of marriage in high regard. However, traditional marriage can be far from that. Individuals break their vows to each other—individuals divorce. Physical violence, addiction, psychological torture, obsessive control, and so many other abominations occur in traditional marriage, yet we accept these unions as somehow driven by God. We use our personal religious beliefs to restrict the rights of others who may not hold those same beliefs. We interpret (with emphasis on interpreting) our holy writings to fit our needs-even if those interpretations are against the basic concepts of Christianity. Christianity is about love, acceptance, forgiveness, and inclusion. Why are so many Christians focused on hate, rejection, exclusion, and damnation? Why do we have to be so “special” that only we can have rights that we deny others?

I saw the opposite among the Nomads. Everyone was accepted on their merits. Women traveling together as couples, toothless men, morbidly overweight Nomads, it didn’t matter. People were not prejudged based on some synthetic construct. Instead, they were accepted or rejected for who they were.

I think I’m not the only misfit out there who is good at pretending to be a “fit.”  Wouldn’t it be great if we could be who were are and be accepted for that? The world might be less productive, but it would also be much more creative and balanced. Diversity always leads to new ideas and growth. A lesson understood by a random pack of Nomads but still rejected by a society that should know better.

Astronaut Mike

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

When I was a little boy I was enthralled by the space program and every aspect of it.  I can’t say that I wanted to be an astronaut, but I did want to be part of those who discovered the unknown.  In the 1960s there was a feeling that we could do anything, and that feeling was ignited in me by the Sci-Fi movies that I watched on late-night TV, and it was amplified by Mr. Wizard, a kid’s science show that I viewed with religious abandon.

I wanted to be the person who understood the science, the one who ran the experiments, and the individual who made the discoveries.  It seemed so impossible, yet so possible.  An early dichotomy in my life to become one of many.

I projected myself into a science vocation, but then took a wide turn into medicine, and then sidestepped into a psychiatric career.  I have no regrets about these detours.  I realize that a child’s fantasies are different than an adult’s reality.

I thought science would give me all of the answers.  A consistent and cohesive set of rules would allow me to find the right path in life. At best, that assumption was only partially true.  Yes, I did want order to calm my chaotic childhood.  I did feel that knowledge would allow me to gain control of my life.  But order is a superficial construct, in reality, there is no true order instead there is a never-ending move to entropy and the resultant disorder. I realized this early, yet I continued to pursue a line of study.  I understood that my excitement came from the process of planning, testing, observing, and learning.  I came to understand that the smallest discovery was as important as the grandest. All knowledge is important.  Every idea has merit. Each new thought is significant.

I think that is why I have found retirement so engaging.  I can now absorb myself in the most trivial study, and when I get tired of a topic there is no obligation to complete it, be tested on it, or even become proficient in it.  The things that I study would sound odd to most, but that no longer matters. One month I did an in-depth analysis of blood pressure cuffs.  Then I explored numerous ways to cook the same thing.  Currently, I’m completing a project where I’m comparing 58 different double-edge razor blades, not only on their physical properties but also on their country of manufacture.  Most of what I do holds significance only for me and would have little interest to a wider audience.  However, that is what makes such projects so intriguing. It is knowledge gained for the sake of knowledge.

Violet, the camper van is one of my ongoing research projects.  What would I need to create a totally self-sufficient travel vehicle? What necessities are required for her basic functioning?  What additional items are needed to enhance the overall camping experience? You may be asking why I have personified my home-on-wheels. As I invest in something it tends to gain a personality of its own and it seems fitting that said personality should be attached to a name.

There is more to Violet than nuts, bolts, and solar panels.  Violet is also a social experiment for me as she forces me to do things that are beyond my comfort zone. What is it like to be completely alone?  How can I find my own space when traveling with others? How resourceful can I be when I’m not an expert at something?  How brave can I be when I’m afraid? Questions and answers present themselves on every trip that I take. 

Then there is “Fort Violet” who feeds my inner child.  A place of no rules, only ideas.  A location where I can hide in plain sight. A zone that holds secrets that I only know. 

Violet follows the rules of science.  Her solar-powered systems are testimony to that. But she also embodies whimsy.  She feeds my need to feel secure through planning and problem-solving.  She pushes me beyond my limits.

As a family, we Kunas are watching a series on the space race. In so many ways Violet is my space capsule that I’m now readying for her next great journey, a trip to Arizona.  Checklists have been created.  Scenarios have been evaluated.  Maintenance has been done.  Today I have started the process of loading grocery cargo into her “shuttle bay.”  Next, I’ll pack my gear, then load her water tanks… and so it goes.  In a few days, I’ll anxiously plug into her navigation system the coordinates of my destination, press her accelerator, and start my next journey of discovery. 

Everything in life has importance…Everything has merit.

Mike

A Solo Walk On Christmas

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

Christmas is here.  

The presents have been opened and brunch has been served.  

I am overcome with egg dish and cinnamon rolls.  

I am floating in coffee.  

A caloric coma will descend on me unless I act.

As a family we are now separated, exploring the treasures that we received just hours before.

I shout to no one, “I’m going on a walk.”

One, then two, then three individuals warm, “It’s too cold.”  

I appreciate their concern.

I ponder and then reject their suggestions.

On goes a zip-up hoodie, then a vest, then a jacket.

Airpods in, hood up, gloves on, boots tied.  I venture.

I am so ladened with outerwear that I look like a pimple about to burst. 

I soldier on.

I’m struck with the emptiness, the quiet, the solitude, the cold. 

Just as my family worried about me, I worry about my friend Tom.

He is 100 miles east of Denver driving with his son, en route to a ski slope in the mountains of Colorado.

I call him and wish him a Merry Christmas. I quietly assess his level of alertness.

Then silence again as I meander down paths that I have walked a thousand times before.

The air bites my nose and my thin gloves offer little protection.  I march on.

The Riverwalk belongs to me.  No other humans trespass my illusion.

To my right, the mighty DuPage lies in frozen stillness.

I break my silence by ordering a Christmas playlist from Spotify. 

The songs are familiar, some traditional, others silly.

Memories flood me from the past.  They are happy.

I cross over the river and continue my journey.

Now at Rotary Hill, I see the first sign of human life.  Some sledders are sliding down the hill.

I continue on.

I cross a covered bridge and gaze between its beams.

There are some patches where water is still flowing.  The sound is peaceful and relaxing.

I continue on. 

I look towards the west and note that the sun is setting.  It will be dark when I arrive home.

Now only a block from my house my earbuds greet me with “Silent Night.”

Silent night, holy night!

All is calm, all is bright.

Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.

Holy infant so tender and mild,

Sleep in heavenly peace,

Sleep in heavenly peace

I feel at peace.

A Shaving Story

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

Your video got me thinking about my own shaving journey.  I’m almost 70 and when I started shaving (in the 1970s)  I went with a “modern” choice, a Shick injectable.  At some point, I switched to the disposable Gillette “Good News” razors, and then a series of cartridge razors.  I was constantly buying new systems because I could never remember what version I had when I had to buy refills. It was at that point, over 15 years ago, that I made the switch to traditional DE razors, and I haven’t looked back.  I have gone from the hobby to the task, to the hobby, and back again.  However, no matter how I approached shaving I knew that the DE option was the better option.  I’m now back into the hobby and I’m enjoying the fun of trying out new soaps and razor blades.  But, that is not why I’m writing this comment.

Growing up in the 1960s, we lived in a pretty run-down house that was built in the 1920s. I don’t think the bathroom was ever updated.  The sink hung on the wall and was made of heavy cast iron.  The porcelain finish had long ago lost its glaze and cleaning it involved polishing it with powdered cleanser to a dull soap-scum-free finish.  The tap wasn’t mixing, there was a hot faucet and a cold faucet.  If you wanted to wash your hands you ran both taps and quickly moved them from scalding hot to freezing cold water and back again.  A bar of soap sat in a plastic soap dish.  the dish had two pieces to allow the soap to drain, but with 7 people using one bathroom, the soap always seemed soggy on the bottom. If you wanted to do any serious type of wash-up you put a white rubber stopper in the sink and filled the bowl.  Our tub was equally worn, and there was no shower or fancy tiles on the wall.  Let’s not even talk about the spitting toilet. Somehow, we survived.

I don’t have a lot of great memories of my dad, but for whatever reason watching him shave was one of them.  I don’t think he shaved every day, probably a few times a week, and certainly for church on Sunday.  He would usually shave in his boxers and an old-style tank top undershirt. He would fill the sink with mostly hot water and add just enough cold to make it tolerable to wash his face.  I can’t say for sure what razor he used, but I do remember that it was a butterfly type, so it was likely a Gillette Super Speed.  I’m certain that it was the most basic, nothing fancy.  I think he used Wilkinson blades, but I also remember him using off-brands like Walgreens (a pharmacy/chemist brand). Foam came out of a can and the brand would vary based on sales.  I remember Barbasol and Walgreens shaving foam, but I’m sure he used others.  I absolutely loved the smell of the shaving foam.  It smelled so clean and masculine to me.  I was very young when I watched my dad shave and in those days he was an imposing figure who I thought could do anything.  I worried that I could never be as strong or successful as he was.

Shaving for him was a chore and strictly business.  I would be amazed to watch him quickly move the Super Speed around his face.  I don’t remember a “second pass,” but I do seem to recall him squirting an extra dollop of foam and rubbing it in areas that needed a little extra work.  After a rinse, he would always rub his face for a final check.  On special days (like when he was going to the union hall) he would splash on some Mennen aftershave, which I thought was the finest cologne on the planet.  I’m a daily cologne wearer and I honestly think I would wear that scent if it lasted more than 10 minutes on me. 

On occasion, he would change out the blade and toss the old one in a “secret slot” built into the medicine cabinet.  I think the old blades just fell between the joists in the wall   I would imagine all of the blades there and even fantasized that I could somehow retrieve and resell them (you have to remember I was a small child).  I don’t think that he talked to me, but he did allow me to sit on the toilet seat and watch him. The smell of commercial shaving foams and Mennen aftershave flood me with pleasant memories to this very day.

Now, I have a family of my own and I live in a house that is about three times the size of the one I grew up in.  My bathrooms are fancy.  My toilets don’t spit.  I wonder what memories my kids will have of me, but I can assure you that I have made many efforts to be there for them. I can buy whatever soap or razor blades that I want.  I don’t have to think about the cost. Life is good and I am happy. My dad is long gone, but I wonder what would think of his son.  The one who worked hard, went to med school, tried to make the lives of others better… and is now retired and reflecting on his own life.  Somehow, that thought puts a smile on my face.

It is easy for me to remember some less-than-joyful memories of my dad, but your video reminded me of some happy ones.  Thanks so much.

————————-

Modified for Facebook

Growing up in the 1960s, we lived in a house that was built in the 1920s. I don’t think the bathroom was ever updated.  The sink hung on the wall and was made of heavy cast iron.  The porcelain finish had long ago lost its glaze and cleaning it involved polishing it with powdered cleanser to a dull soap-scum-free finish.  The tap wasn’t mixing, there was a hot faucet and a cold faucet.  If you wanted to wash your hands you ran both taps and quickly moved them from scalding hot to freezing cold water and back again.  A bar of soap sat in a plastic soap dish.  the dish had two pieces to allow the soap to drain, but with 7 people using one bathroom, the soap always seemed soggy on the bottom. If you wanted to do any serious type of wash-up you put a white rubber stopper in the sink and filled the bowl.  Our tub was equally worn, and there was no shower or fancy tiles on the wall.  Let’s not even talk about the spitting toilet. Somehow, we survived.

Watching my dad shave is one of my pleasant memories.  I don’t think he shaved every day, probably a few times a week, and certainly for church on Sunday.  He would usually shave in his boxers and an old-style tank top undershirt. He would fill the sink with mostly hot water and add just enough cold to make it tolerable to wash his face.  I can’t say for sure what razor he used, but I do remember that it was a butterfly type, so it was likely a Gillette Super Speed.  I’m certain that it was the most basic, nothing fancy.  I think he used Wilkinson blades, but I also remember him using off-brands like Walgreens. Foam came out of a can and the brand would vary based on sales.  I remember Barbasol and Walgreens shaving foam, but I’m sure he used others.  I absolutely loved the smell of the shaving foam.  It smelled so clean and masculine to me.  I was very young when I watched my dad shave and in those days he was an imposing figure who I thought could do anything.  I worried that I could never be as strong or successful as he was.

Shaving for him was a chore and strictly business.  I would be amazed to watch him quickly move the Super Speed around his face.  I don’t remember a “second pass,” but I do seem to recall him squirting an extra dollop of foam and rubbing it in areas that needed a little extra work.  After a rinse, he would always rub his face for a final check.  On special days (like when he was going to the union hall) he would splash on some Mennen aftershave, which I thought was the finest cologne on the planet.  I’m a daily cologne wearer and I honestly think I would wear that scent if it lasted more than 10 minutes on me. 

On occasion, he would change out the blade and toss the old one in a “secret slot” built into the medicine cabinet.  I think the old blades just fell between the joists in the wall   I would imagine all of the blades there and even fantasized that I could somehow retrieve and resell them (you have to remember I was a small child).  I don’t think that he talked to me, but he did allow me to sit on the toilet seat and watch him. The smell of commercial shaving foams and Mennen aftershave flood me with pleasant memories to this very day.

Now, I have a family of my own and I live in a house that is about three times the size of the one I grew up in.  My bathrooms are fancy.  My toilets don’t spit.  I wonder what memories my kids will have of me, but I can assure you that I have made many efforts to be there for them. I can buy whatever soap or razor blades that I want.  I don’t have to think about the cost. Life is good and I am happy. My dad is long gone, but I wonder what would think of his son.  The one who worked hard, went to med school, tried to make the lives of others better… and is now retired and reflecting on his own life.  Somehow, that thought puts a smile on my face.

A Different Way

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

Last Thursday was a long day. I was helping my sister with a project that I foolishly thought would end by 2 PM. However, I arrived home after 5:30 PM, and the day’s main event was yet to come.

Grace graduated from university in May, and she is taking a gap year to build clinical hours and apply to graduate school. The application process for her degree is rigorous and involves many hoops that she has had to jump through, including admission interviews. Many schools have virtual interviews, but some require in-person attendance, including one school located in Cincinnati.  

My goal in raising my children is to support healthy growth and independence. I want to give them every chance to be successful in life. I define success as having a meaningful job while incorporating balance. I understand that fulfillment involves more than money or a particular career. However, having enough cash and a satisfying career goes a long way. Of course, other happiness factors include healthy relationships, a spiritual life, self-growth, and the incorporation of life experiences. 

When it comes to their happiness, I can only point them in a direction. Each of my kids is unique and what they value varies. Importantly, I understand that my goals and dreams for them may not be theirs. My challenge has always been understanding what I want for them vs. what they want. My age, maturity, and life experience give me an advantage over their youth and inexperience, which I want to share with them. However, it doesn’t give me a right to control their futures; that destiny is up to them.

It was 6 PM on Thursday, and Grace and I were about to start our drive to her Friday interview. We would be staying across the Ohio River in Kentucky as a two-night stay at a Cincinnati Holiday Inn Express was clocking in at $550 before taxes, which included the school’s discount. 

My initial feeling about the trip was negative, but that emotion was based on my driving for over 5 hours in the middle of the night. We would arrive at 12:30 AM Central Time or 1:30 AM Eastern Time. I fortified myself with a McDonald’s coffee and faced the challenge. I also consciously and deliberately started to reframe the experience.

Yes, driving a long distance in the middle of the night would be a drag, but there were many positives. I could choose to focus on the negative or redirect myself. Grace is an excellent traveling companion. She is intelligent, thoughtful, and informed. She is an independent kid who has some of my obsessive responsible characteristics; I don’t have to worry about her or her actions.  

The long drive gave us the chance to catch up and allowed me to learn just a little more about her. We filled out time talking and listening to podcasts. The long drive also allowed me to call my sisters and check in with them. In addition, it gave me a chance to test a new cell phone carrier called Visible. Visible resides on the Verizon network yet it is very cost-effective, but it has a few restrictions. My family currently uses T-Mobile, but its rural coverage is poor. I do a lot of boondocking, and Visible could be a viable secondary option to maintain communication with the outside world. I’m currently on a two-week free trial and have already tested the plan in rural Wisconsin with success. The trip to Cincinnati would allow me to check coverage in Indiana, Ohio, and Kentucky.   

I hope you see the active path that I’m taking. I’m reframing a negative feeling and pushing it into the positive zone.  

What about other aspects of this adventure? Grace’s interview started at noon and was scheduled until 5 PM; what was I supposed to do during that time? Our hotel was too far from campus for me to return, and I was uncertain about the neighborhood where the school was located. I assessed some possibilities. I could explore Cincinnati, but I had already done this on several other trips. Anyway, it is more enjoyable for me to do those types of activities when accompanied by others. I could tackle some hiking trails, and I have done that in the past, but I didn’t want to leave Grace hanging if her interviews ended early. I wanted to be there to support her and help her process her feelings about the school.  

As a physician, I have to complete many hours of CME (Continuing Medical Education) credits every licensing period. In the past it was necessary to travel to conferences and meetings, but with the advent of the World Wide Web, CMEs are as close as my laptop. I would go to the school’s library and work on some CMEs when Grace was in her interviews. I would choose to be productive rather than bored. 

The university’s campus was small but charming. Founded by the Sisters of Charity in the 1920s, most of the campus now had a decidedly 1970s look with light brick architecture and a mid-century post-modern style that combined function with just a bit of style. There was a Catholic feel that I found comforting. I have attended secular schools for most of my education, and the sight of some religious imagery gave me a sense of peace. It appeared to be a  school that taught values in addition to facts. 

A helpful groundskeeper directed me to the library, and with my messenger bag in hand, I entered. The room was expansive, with large tables and enormous windows that streamed in soft diffused light. I found a study carrel in a hidden corner, connected to wifi, and went to work. After about 4 hours of intense learning, my old brain had had it. I was ready for a break, and luckily Violet, the campervan, was prepared to accommodate me. I strolled to her, grabbed a cold Diet Coke from her fridge, and lounged on her bed. Soon, I received a text message from Grace that her long interview was over. It was time to pick her up.

That evening we dined at an iconic Cincinnati classic, Skyline Chili. Then off to our room to talk, watch TV, and rest for our morning drive back to Chicago. Our return trip was a repeat of our earlier drive and just as delightful. We were back in Naperville by mid-afternoon Saturday, exhausted but happy.

I write this to remind myself and to encourage you. Just about everything has both a positive and negative side. Some people are proficient at focusing on the negative, no matter the event. These folks can turn anything into a burden by finding potential disasters or inconveniences at every turn. I choose to be different and consciously work on seeing the positives in life. Driving to Cincinnati in the middle of the night was a drag, but the benefits far outweighed the negatives. Grace has received positive responses to her graduate school applications, and she is confident that she will be going to grad school after her gap year. That is a wonderful. Spending time with her is always positive, and it feels terrific to be supportive of her. In addition, I personally benefited by knocking out hours of CMEs when I was captive on campus.   Lastly, I got to test out some technology and travel in Violet. I love the idea of taking my little house on wheels with me wherever I go.

I would encourage you to focus on the positives of your life and situation. You have control over how you feel and how you react to situations. You can choose to live a life filled with negativity and trauma or one of productive expectation. At the end of the day, I always try to take that fork in the road.

Poverty Is Different

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

My friend, Tom, wanted to do something nice for me while Julie was hospitalized. He surprised me by taking me to breakfast at our favorite spot in the West Loop. There was a problem on I-290, so we exited the expressway in Oak Park and treaded down Madison Avenue.

As we crossed Austin Avenue into Chicago, I was immediately struck by a drastic change. The streets were dirtier; the buildings were in poorer repair. More shocking were the types of businesses, both present and absent. Many fast food restaurants, pre-paid cell phone stores, haircare stores, and storefront churches existed. Although we were driving on a major thoroughfare, I saw no real grocery stores, hardware stores, or other typical shops that were present just west of Austin in Oak Park. The difference was very pronounced. Eventually, we arrived in the toney West Loop—a place of trendy apartments, fabulous restaurants, and well-manicured streets. I have to admit that I felt a sense of relief as I entered familiar territory. However, I also felt a sense of shame. 

I write this post from my study, a room in my house dedicated to me. Next to me is a mullioned window that overlooks a beautiful suburban street. Within a 10-minute drive from my house are at least ten different grocery stores and five gigantic hardware stores. I can access every restaurant imaginable at that same distance, from ethnic to upscale. I drive a nice car and moan that I just spent almost $2000.00 to repair it, but I could afford it. My kids got to go to some of the best schools in the country, and our town’s library is considered the best of any community of its size. Our city parks are safe and well-equipped. The sports teams have the latest gear. The schools have the best lab equipment, computers, smart boards, and teachers.  

Not bad for a once blue-collar kid who worked hard and had a dream, but hold on, that is not where I’m going.

Yes, I worked hard to get to where I am. Yes, I sacrificed a lot to get there. Yes, my current life is better than my childhood life. So that’s the answer. Poor people are poor because they are lazy, stupid, and immoral. Oh, and of course, they are all dangerous criminals. Just watch YouTube to see those scoundrels shoplifting. Stores are closing because everyone who goes into them steals something. Why don’t they work hard like I did? It is not my responsibility to help them out. I advanced my life; they should do the same. Haven’t they heard about pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? Geez!

Of course, I’m being sarcastic. Each barrier that we place takes energy and effort to overcome. Place enough obstacles, and escape is almost impossible. My blue-collar childhood was nothing like I saw in Chicago’s South Austin neighborhood. I lived in a house we owned; there was a branch library, grocery store, drugstore, and hardware store around the corner. We always had food on the table. My parents were invested in my education. I had older siblings who I would emulate. My growing up was not deluxe, but compared to someone growing up in poverty, I was living the life of a millionaire. 

What would it be like to take several buses to just buy a gallon of milk? What would it be like to live in a neighborhood ruled by gangs, where police are viewed with fear instead of welcomed as peacekeepers? What would it be like to grow up in an unstable family or with a parent working multiple jobs just to put food on the table? What would it be like to live in a neighborhood where dropping out of school was the norm? What would it be like not to know how to appropriately fill out a college application and be unaware of whom to ask for help?  

These are just a few things people in poverty must deal with. My kids grew up with a highly educated stay-at-home mom. Their lives were enriched in every way possible. They were provided with experiences at every turn. Yes, they are bright and work hard. However, their energy could be devoted to academic pursuits rather than figuring out how to get food for supper. I give them total credit for their successes. However, their paths were greased by privilege.

It is easy to blame people experiencing poverty for being poor. It is easy to look at a small minority of criminals and vilify an entire group. It is easy to look the other way. But at what cost? I don’t know how to fix this problem, but I know it is a problem.  

My good friend Ralph just sent me a link to a podcast that explores some barriers to people who strive to extricate themselves from poverty. It approaches the topic in a way I had not thought of before. It is an excellent podcast and a good listen, so I am sharing the link with you. 

Peace

Mike

Is Aldi Really Cheaper?

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I have been retired for over five years, and because of this, my income is fixed. Despite my retired status, I still have four adults living at home.  How will that change?  Soon I’ll have five adults living at home.  My wife continues to work, so I have taken on many domestic tasks, including grocery shopping and some meal prep.  When I was working, I never thought about the cost of groceries, but that is different now.  In addition, the world has been dealing with inflation, and stores have been practicing shrinkflation.  Buying groceries has become expensive. 

It isn’t unusual to spend $80-90 at a regular grocery store and leave with only two bags.  Years ago, I started to shop at Walmart, which was less expensive and offered a full range of groceries.  However, our Walmart has fallen on hard times via short staffing, poor stock, increased pricing, and foolish attempts at automation.  

Shopping there became a dreaded activity as large areas would be out-of-stock, the produce started to look like the stuff I was throwing out at home, and the prices kept increasing. However, the worst blow was the removal of almost all of the checkers in lieu of self-checkout. I would have an overflowing cart that I would have to scan and bag, given only a tiny work surface.  Some things wouldn’t scan or scan at the right prices.  In addition, I hated going through the process of looking up and weighing produce.  

Our Walmart would station employees by the checkout isles.  They wouldn’t help; their job was to stare you down, which felt creepy. My last straw with Walmart came after going through one shopping ordeal and having the door watcher ask to see my receipt and then go through several dozen checks of products I bought. I came home exhausted, frustrated, and exasperated.  I committed to only return to Walmart when absolutely necessary and to find a new store to shop at. Enter Aldi.

I had shopped at Aldi before, but it was slightly out of the way. At that time, I did a price comparison with Walmart, and I found that the overall prices were slightly lower than Walmart’s, but I needed more to justify the greater distance and the reduced selection.  However, Walmart had changed with higher prices and terrible customer care.  Because of this, I decided to give Aldi a second look. So, is it cheaper to shop at Aldi?  The answer is yes, but for more reasons than you may think.

Aldi’s prices are less expensive than Walmart, and it seems that separation is greater now than in the past. That is an obvious positive.  However, Aldi stores are much smaller than Walmart, so I can easily shop without feeling completely exhausted.  In addition, Aldi has very fast and efficient checkers.  Yes, you must bag your groceries, but Aldi provides large counters, making the process simple.  I like that I have to bring my bags and have purchased several of them from Aldi.  One big Aldi bag is equivalent to around 4 Walmart bags making it much easier for me to bring the groceries into the house. Aldi’s grocery cart policy is also great, as no carts clog up the lot. 

Aldi has limited brands and limited selection, which reduces decision fatigue. In addition, the quality of almost all food items is good to excellent.  I can’t buy Kalamata olives at Aldi, but I can substitute black olives, which is good enough for me. Even with substitution, there are things that I use but can’t get at Aldi.  However, a quick trip to my local grocer solves that problem.  I just have to be careful not to overbuy when I get there. Generally speaking, Aldi has 90-95% of what I need.

My grocery shopping is more enjoyable and less expensive than when shopping at Walmart.  I buy what I need as I’m much less likely to impulse purchase. I also shop the house brand, because that is what is available.  I substitute less expensive items for specialty items because Aldi doesn’t carry many.  I don’t linger in the store, so I don’t buy things that look interesting.  All of these factors make it significantly less expensive to shop at Aldi.

I can’t say there is any category of food that is significantly inferior to other stores.  The produce is good, as is the packaged bread and bakery.  I don’t see a difference with their canned goods; frozen items seem decent. If one area were lacking, I would say it would be their meat department.  There is nothing wrong with Aldi meat, but I don’t think it is at the same level as a store like Costco.  However, if I didn’t have options, I would happily buy my meat at Aldi. 

If you haven’t visited Aldi recently, you may want to try it.  I would suggest that you shop there for several weeks before you make your final decision on the grocery chain, as it takes a little bit to get used to the different shopping experience.

Five Years Retired-A Review

In February 2024 this website crashed for no apparent reason. Despite using professionals at GoDaddy.com it was impossible to restore anything after October 2021 (over 100 posts). I do have many of those post in draft form (no final edit or photos) and I have decided to repost them in that manner. I apologize for typos and other errors. How do I feel about losing all of my original work? Life goes on.

I ended my private practice over five years ago. Four years ago, I left my part-time doctor job at Rosecrance and fully retired.  I like to review my status annually to understand better where I have been and where I may be going.

This year’s review deals with concepts more than actions.  I did not plan this post that way; it is just how it evolved.

As my retirement has progressed, I have been aware of a slow change in me as I grapple with more existential questions. Concepts of my significance have broadened to include the greater significance of humankind.  I am not trying to determine why we exist; that question has been a philosophical problem for eons. Instead, my pondering has centered around several concepts that seem dissonant on the surface but are unified at a more intrinsic level. These thoughts are not meant to be a template for others to structure their lives.  As I have written many times, you do you. 

What is my significance?  I have come up with two possibilities.

Possibility One

I am significant, and every action I make impacts my species, other organisms, the planet, and ultimately the entire universe.  I consider this my George Bailey position. If I turn right instead of left, that impacts the world.  Some of my actions will have a greater impact than others.  At times, those actions will be deliberate; at other times, they will be random.  

I exist because of prior generations. My children exist because of me (and, of course, my wife) and will impact our world in their own ways.  Simple events, like typing this post while drinking a cup of coffee, change things in ways I’m incapable of knowing. In this view, everyone impacts the universe, regardless of their status.

Possibility Two

I am insignificant.  This is my existential nihilism position.  Not only am I insignificant, but all humans are insignificant.  The earth is 4.5 billion years old, but the first primitive hominids appeared only 2 million years ago. Homo Sapiens have only existed for several hundred thousand years. Five mass extinctions have decimated most living organisms on this planet, and it is thought that we are currently in the throws of the 6th mass extinction. 

The universe has existed for almost 14 billion years. During that time, entire solar systems have formed and have been destroyed.  An average galaxy contains 100 billion stars.  We know that many of these stars have orbiting planets.  There are approximately two trillion galaxies in the observable universe.  Galaxies have collided, and entire galaxies may have been destroyed or altered in that process. Everything that we can measure in the universe consists of matter and energy.  However, we can only observe 15% of the matter in the universe.  Eighty-five percent of the universe’s matter consists of dark matter. We cannot see or detect dark matter; the only way we know it exists is by how it impacts observable objects. If some catastrophic event destroyed our planet, it would have little impact on the universe. As a species or as individuals, we are exponentially less significant than that. No one significantly impacts the universe in this second possibility, regardless of status.

———

As humans, our ability to think is limited by our small brains. We define events by what we can observe, which we then try to explain with limited understanding.  At one point, humans thought that the earth was flat as it was impossible to think that the world was so large that small segments would appear flat.  Before the microscope existed, scientists felt that infectious disease was caused by miasma.  Even today, individuals disregard known information as they cannot reconcile facts with other beliefs they may hold. A recent survey asked over 2000 Americans if Arabic numbers should be taught in public schools.  The majority surveyed said that they should not be.  This result is tragic on two fronts.  First, most Americans didn’t realize that Arabic numbers are our 0-9 number system.  And second is that those surveyed used a combination of bias, prejudice, and ignorance to reach a ridiculous conclusion.

Humans think in absolute ways. However, this linear logic limits us.  We use simplistic thinking to determine good vs. bad.  Are police good or bad? Who is right, the Republicans or the Democrats? What is the one true religion?  It is impossible to develop a definitive answer to these and many other questions. However, this leads me to a conclusion about the above conundrum. It is possible to have two opposing ideas that are both correct. Therefore, we are both significant and insignificant. Based on the above, it is impossible to determine an objective answer to my life’s purpose.  Instead, it is better to explore how I impact the world.  For me, that is on an interpersonal basis. My significance is based on my direct interactions with others. How important those interactions are, I can’t say. Yet, I need to accept this as it is where I should place my efforts and energy.

How are we joined to humankind and our planet? Most cultures have employed a third factor that provides ways to explain the unknown, gives rules of behavior, and creates a framework for community. Enter the concept of the supernatural. Different groups may understand this differently.  Buddhists don’t believe in a supreme god but talk about spirits.  Hindus refer to a universal soul or Brahman.  Pagans focus on a connection with nature, while Christians, Muslims, and Jews hold a monotheistic understanding of the supernatural.  

I believe that there is something greater than ourselves. I refer to that entity as God.  My beliefs are partially cultural and partially experiential.  I was raised Roman Catholic and migrated to a non-denominational Christian Church, so I am most comfortable with a Christian concept of a Higher Power.  However, my concept of God and Christianity, in general, may be in opposition to more traditional views. Unfortunately, religious beliefs carry even more passion than other emotional flashpoints, such as politics.  I do not need to offend anyone.  I am sharing my thinking process, but I don’t need to convert anyone to my way of thinking.  

There are thousands of Christian denominations worldwide and dozens of prominent ones in the US.  These groups are sometimes similar to each other, and at other times they are radically different.  Critical concepts, such as necessary actions needed for salvation, can differ radically from one group to another.  Acceptable behaviors are also wildly different.  Denomination A may think it is fine to have an alcoholic drink, while denomination B bans coffee.  Denomination C may believe in the Rapture, while denomination D may believe such thinking is heresy. Demonination E may only allow celibate men as religious leaders, whereas denomination F may feel that married men and women should serve in that role. Denomination G rejects the use of automobiles and electricity, whereas denomination H embraces rock bands and live stream broadcasts of their services, and so it goes.

Who determines the rules?  That varies.  In most cases, at least with western Christianity, it is white men.  However, the way that they command their authority can also vary.  Many will convene some sort of meeting or conference.  Naturally, leaders with the most power will have the loudest voice.  Power doesn’t always equate with correctness.  

Beyond consensus, there is usually some other ultimate source of truth.  Catholics believe that the Pope is infallible regarding questions of morals and faith. Mormons believe that their leader is a prophet. Some protestant religions will note that the Bible is inerrant.  This opinion isn’t conclusively stated in the Bible; it was decided by a conference of Evangelicals that was held in Chicago at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare hotel in 1978.  Specifically, they cited the King James version of the Bible as the absolute inerrant source. Many non-Evangelical Biblical scholars would say that there are more accurate translations of the Bible that use better methodology and source materials closer to the original, but that is a discussion for another day.

Religious leaders throughout history have made decisions based on a variety of motivations.  I do not doubt that some of their determinations have been based on their interpretation of God’s will from reading scripture, personal prayer, and other methods. Sometimes, bias can radically impact an individual’s or group’s thinking process. Both Copernicus and Galileo said that our solar system was heliocentric and were deemed heretics by religious leaders. Galileo was tried by the Inquisition because this finding contradicted the interpretation of scriptures that the Earth was the center of the universe.  Beyond interpretation issues, some religious leaders have used their authority for personal profit or to push their agenda. Here some tele-evangelists who ascribe to prosperity theology come to mind.

I see no evidence that God has granted certain individuals the ability to be infallible.  Likewise, I see the Bible as a highly significant work containing Christianity’s elements.  However, I don’t see it as inerrant.  I base this opinion on the many inconsistent histories given in the Bible that range from the birth of Jesus to His crucifixion and death.  Various Gospels were written decades to almost 100 years after the death of Jesus.  Before that time, his teachings were spread by oral traditions, which would be modified as time and situation commanded.  You can see this effect by reading the first written Gospel (Mark) and comparing it to the last, the Gospel of John.  

The Bible was written during a different time when enslaving others was acceptable and when women were expected to be completely subservient to men. These were the cultural norms 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, some have used these and other Biblical references in modern times as justification to repress entire groups of humanity.  Others have used incorrect translations of words or their personal interpretations of passages as rational to damn entire groups of humans. 

The Catholic Bible includes books that the Protestant Bible omits.  Are those books of lesser value?  Other writings were considered and rejected for the Bible as they were inconsistent with the determining group’s ideology.  Some of these books have resurfaced and offer a different view of early Christianity. Should they be included in our understanding of Jesus’s message?

At this point, you are likely asking, “So, what is your point?”   My point is that I think spiritual life is vital for me as it not only gives my existence meaning but it also connects me with our greater humanity.  It is the glue that makes sense out of the dichotomy that my life is both meaningful and meaningless.  However, I cannot accept something just because some authority told me that was what I am supposed to believe.  I find too many flaws in such an argument.  

As I mentioned earlier, I consider myself a Christian, which is the set of beliefs I resonate with.  However, I have some issues with religion and religious leaders.  This may seem heresy as many Christian religions emphasize that only their beliefs offer the golden ticket to heaven.  Further, some threaten eternal damnation if you stray away from their dogma. There are benefits to belonging to a religious group, community being one of them. However, once any religion feels it has the right to damn and condemn others, it has moved from being a spiritual guide to a quasi-god.  

I keep returning to the message that Jesus gave us based on his actions.  It is very simple.  Love all, forgive, include all, don’t judge, be kind, and be generous. Jesus went against the Pharisees by healing on the Sabbath. In doing so, he demonstrated that we should not let the self-proclaimed leaders of the day prevent us from having a relationship with God by overloading us with their rules and regulations. When religion moves against His tenants, they serve their needs rather than God’s will. I cannot continue with any religion when I see an organization professing inclusion but practicing exclusion. Professing forgiveness but practicing damnation.  Professing charity but practicing greed. Professing equality but damning opposing opinions.

This last year of my retirement has focused on these issues. I accept the uncertainty of my existence. I exist, and no further rationale is necessary. My relationship with my Higher Power is stronger now than in the past.  That connection feels truer as I have been able to release me from many of the things taught me, but that made little sense. As my connection to my Higher Power deepens, my acceptance of the duality of our existence strengthens. I will continue to move forward as I attempt to contribute to society and those around me, not for heaven points, but because it is the right thing to do.

Lastly, this year I have been thinking about life goals and legacy. I’m certain that some don’t give these concepts a second thought, while others may think about them all the time.  For some, their life goal is to acquire.  Perhaps they want to acquire experiences; the latest restaurant, or travel location.  Others want to gain property, money, or power.  For these folks the more that they have the more that they want.  Still others want to leave a tangible marker that they have been “here.”  That could be anything from a recipe to a university building.  

For me a life well spent is one that has moved humankind in a positive direction.  Most of us won’t be able to make global changes.  I don’t think that is important.  However, what is important to me is if my overall efforts were more positive than negative.  As a doctor, did I help more people than I harmed?  As a friend, relative, husband, and father were my interactions more beneficial than detrimental to those that I love?  Were my connections with aquaintances and strangers more positive than negative?  If I can generally answer yes to the above questions I feel that I have lived a worthwhile life.

In a few weeks I’ll turn 70-a major birthday.  Upward and onward, one step at a time.

Random thoughts and my philosophy of life.