Gnats in the air

Yesterday was a day full of gnats.  Not the real bugs, but little things that bugged me.

The morning started with an exercise routine that I did poorly on.  It transitioned to me trying to help my friend with some software issues.  I was unable to help him, and I felt bad about it.  Then onto a day of tele-psychiatry.  My patients were a bit more complicated and for some unknown reason my prescribing software locked me out preventing me from writing prescriptions.

By the evening my muscles were hurting more (from the exercise) and I was on edge. It was easy to be a bit snappy. It was also easy to feel sorry for myself.

Dear reader, I was focusing on the negatives of my day instead of the many positives.  Here are just some of the positives:

  1. I tried a new exercise routine.
  2. I did help my friend with some other things.
  3. I started to think of solutions to his computer issue.
  4. I was able to work from home.
  5. Despite a stressful work day, I did help some folks and the software lockout eventually got fixed.
  6. I had a zero commute day.
  7. I had dinner and time with my family.
  8. I went to a documentary that was well done and interesting.
  9. And more…

When I looked at the positive list my day appeared to be pretty good, not bad at all.

I know that I can learn more about myself when I pay attention to how I feel.  I know that a lot of what bothered me was not being able to “deliver” to others.  I felt bad that I couldn’t solve my friend’s software issue, I felt bad that I couldn’t fix the problems of all of my patients, and I felt bad that I was burdening my nurse by having her call in prescriptions (due to my software glitch). These were feelings that I was imposing on myself.  Since I was the imposer, I also could become the liberator, and that is exactly what I did.  I ran through positive list and I embraced it.  I accepted the fact that my friend would be OK with me, even if I didn’t have the answer to every question.  I figured out how to get my patients their meds, despite the fact that technology had reared its ugly head.  My day of gnats became just another day.

Today I will try to realize that for every negative in the universe there is a positive.

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