20 Characteristics of a Good Relationship- 3/20 Missing!

In a healthy significant relationship you miss the other party when they are not around.

When I care about someone, I enjoy spending time with them.  When I am apart from them, I miss them.  

In life I can’t always be around the people that I care about.  They have things that they need to do, and I have things that I need to do.  In fact, I may enjoy a break from a connection from time to time. This is normal.

I know that I’m very connected to someone when I think about them when I’m not around them.  If I never have those feelings in a relationship, it is likely that the connection is casual and less significant.  These types of relationships are fine, but they require less examination, as they have less bearing on me or my life.

I understand that some people have an intense fear of abandonment, where even a mild threat of losing a relationship creates tremendous angst. That angst can be expressed as extremely needy, demanding or threatening behavior.  This type of “missing” is not healthy, and it is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

Likewise, I know that a close or committed relationship is in trouble when one or both parties don’t miss the other person when they are apart. A lack of desire for a connection, or a lack of effort to connect,  can indicate serious problems in a significant relationship.

Today my goal is to examine the significant relationships in my life, and to utilize this basic feeling to gain a better understanding of my connection with them.