I went to a wedding last weekend.  I had not been to a wedding in several years, so I really enjoyed the event.  It was a typical wedding in every way, but it had some nice additions that made it extra special.  I have been friends with the parents of the bride for many decades.  The venue was trendy and cool.  The bride was stunning, and the groom was handsome. There were flowers everywhere.  The officiant knew the couple and had warm and touching things to say about both of them.  The reception dinner was elegant, with tables loaded with candles and flowers. I would say that the food was definitely a notch above typical banquet fare, and the dessert table was yummy.  Everyone was wearing their wedding finest, and it was clear that every single person that I observed was having a fabulous time.  For me, it was nice to talk to new people, all of whom were friendly and engaging. In summary, the wedding was a blast.

So why am I writing this? I didn’t quite describe the entire event in the first paragraph.  I’m a psychiatrist, a trained and expert observer. Let me tell you a bit more about the wedding.  The bride’s parents are Lithuanian and Polish, respectively. They adopted their son and then their daughter (the bride) from Korea as infants. The groom was Mexican.  The maid of honor was White; the best man was Mexican.  The adorable ring bearer was Mexican; the three cute flower girls were Black, Mexican, and Korean/Caucasian. I’m guessing the officiant’s heritage was Asian Pacific.  One “reader” was Black, and another was White.  

There were over 100 guests, who were also quite diverse. I was part of the old codger group.  The six of us have known each other for decades.  The group consisted of a retired policeman, a retired hospital clerk, a retired elementary school teacher, a retired school psychologist, a retired psychiatrist (that would be me), and a clinical psychologist (my wife).  

The bride holds a PhD and is a university professor, the groom works in advertising.  Several of the attendees looked as if they might have been her teachers and advisors from her PhD program.  Racially, the group was as diverse as the wedding party.  There were families, couples, singles, and single parents with their young children. Many of the younger guests were sporting tattoos.  There were gay couples and straight couples, and one person who was possibly trans. One woman was wearing a hijab.

We attended the wedding ceremony at the reception venue, which was a great room divided by a gigantic curtain.  As the newly married couple marched down the aisle the curtain was opened revealing an 8-piece Mariachi band playing hard and loud.  The unexpected music actually gave me chills up my spine. The attendees followed into the front half of the room for post wedding cocktails, and socializing. Everyone was chatty and excited.

The curtain was reestablished blocking off the wedding portion of the room to allow the staff to break down the folding chairs used in the ceremony, and to set up elegant dining tables for the wedding dinner. When they completed their task we were shuffled to our tables for a gourmet meal.  Then it was time for  DJ music and dancing. The attendees exhibited great enthusiasm with their dancing.  However, none will be receiving contracts from a Broadway producer based on their overall performance. It was an absolutely delightful evening, fully enjoyable.

I am writing this post to illustrate the group’s diversity.  Multiple races, multiple religions, multiple ages, multiple types of families, multiple personal styles (conservative to tattooed), multiple sexual orientations, and possibly even a trans person, and it didn’t make a single difference.  We were all much more similar than dissimilar. We were all doing our best to look good and to celebrate with the newly married couple.  Everyone that I talked to was chatty, sociable, and interesting.  We all (as far as I could tell) were having a great time.  There was no drama, and why would there be? People connected with others based on their personal interactions rather than the color of their skin or their sexual orientation. No one tried to convert another person to their political beliefs, sexual orientation, or personal ideology. Do I even need to say that?  I guess I do when our politicians claim that your kindergarten-aged kid will go to school as a boy and come back as a girl.  Nothing like those who are supposed to protect us, who are instead trying to fill us with fear and hate of others.

 Currently, our country is going through an identity crisis.  We were once a nation that was proud to be a melting pot.  Yes, there were always times of prejudice.  The Irish, the Italians, the Jews, the Japanese,  the Blacks, etc.  But we got through those times, and it felt like we were finally moving towards a society that judged people on their merits, not on arbitrary identifiers.  How shameful it is that we have regressed back to a time when it seems that the only acceptable person is white, protestant, and male.  What a disservice to our country, and to our future generations.  Diversity leads to greater strength. This wedding was a melting pot of individuals; a meeting place that required no other effort than acceptance and the realization that we are all much more alike than we are different.  Our country needs to learn this lesson and move forward.  Otherwise, we will become an also-ran nation, like other countries and empires that have come and gone before us.

Peace,

Mike

I’m including a few wedding shots, but for privacy reasons I’m not including any photos of the wedding party or guests. 

This Rolls was waiting outside of the venue.

When the newly married couple walked down the aisle the great curtain was opened to reveal a Mariachi band playing hard and loud. It gave me chills up my spine.

The chairs from the wedding ceremony were removed and in their place were elegant dining tables.